Words & Fixtures

Proof I exist

2012-01-20T17:17:00.004Z

Some of my recent proofreading work is now in the public domain, which is really rather exciting. Here's a quick round-up; if you need any proofing or editing undertaking, do tell.

Socrates Adams' debut novel hit the shelves this week, complete with a lovely acknowledgement of my fine handiwork (although publisher Tony did admit he may have buggered it up slightly, so if you find any mistakes, they're his not mine). You can pick up a copy - and I recommend you do - at Blackwell's.

David Gaffney's Errata Slips Micro Commissions project for Cornerhouse has culminated in the creation of a feature and also some fab new short stories, which were also given the once-over by yours truly. You can have a shufty at some of them here.

I've a couple of other really awesome fiction jobs in the pipeline, but I'm currently working on non-fiction, a tome about the uncanny in literature, and that's been great too. See, I can turn my hand to all sorts. I'm not just a pretty face (though obviously I'm that too. Heh, it's great having a blog; you can't write any old shite and ain't no one to contradict).

New books on the block

2012-01-15T11:00:00.005Z

Very excited. This week sees the launch of two awesome novels by two awesome local writers.

Today is the launch party for The Passenger, the debut novel by Peter Wild, another fifth of the Inklings writing group I have the privilege of being a part of. To get in the mood, I'm just listening again to the interview Pete did last night on Michelle Hussey's Desert Island Discs-for-hipsters BBC Radio Manchester show. I suggest you do too; here's a link. The launch is at Soundcontrol at 7.30pm (details here) and features a couple of local bands, plus readings by Pete, another Inkling Valerie O'Riordan, and the inimitable Socrates Adams. You can buy the book here.

Socrates' debut novel, Everything's Fine, is out tomorrow. I can't recommend it highly enough. It's completely bonkers, but good bonkers. Great imagination; lovely style. And the proofreading's fucking amazeballs (I did it). The official launch is on Friday 27 January at Blackwell's on Oxford Road, but before then you can also catch Socrates reading at Bad Language on Wednesday 25 January. He gets around a bit. More details and purchasing opportunities here.

Speak up!

2012-01-10T13:59:00.009Z

A quick round-up of spoken word speakeasies on the horizon...

Tomorrow sees the fourth outing for Tales Of Whatever, now in its new regular monthly slot at literary venue du jour, The Castle Hotel on Oldham Street. It starts at 7.45pm and is free, and this month's line-up includes my FlashTag compadre Tom Mason, my former colleague Laura "Cultural Shenanigans" Maley and For Books' Sake editor Jane Bradley; all of whom feature in the wonderful smut anthology Quickies: Short Stories For Adults, edited by my fair hand and available to purchase for next to nowt here.

I'm next on stage on Monday 23 January 2012 from 8pm at the new Three Minute Theatre in Afflecks, also on Oldham Street, as part of a special one-off (free!) night, The New Libertines, organised by Literary Death Match winner and Eight Cuts Gallery impresario Dan Holloway and in association with those ace For Books' Sake ladies. The bill (see poster below) also features award-winning author Elizabeth Baines and Not The Booker winner Michael Stewart, plus an open mic with Bad Language's Dan Carpenter among others, and promises to be nothing if not varied. I'm planning a 100% smut-filled set, so be warned.

The Bad Language gang themselves (oh look, we have the same blog background - great minds think alike, eh?) is back for the new year on Wednesday 25 January (7.30pm, free, The Castle), and I'll be taking part in the open mic. Another Quickies contributor, Socrates Adams, will also be reading from his new novel, Everything's Fine (proofread by yours truly).

The next Say Something is on at The Castle on Thursday 9 February*, with ToW back on Wednesday 15 February, then, on Friday 17 February (TV 21 bar, Thomas Street, 8pm), it's the unmissable launch of the new album Death Jeans from Monkeys In Love, when the band (who "sound like a drink Stereolab") will be supported by none other than David Gaffney feat. Sarah-Clare Conlon. I'll be reading more of David's flash fiction to his musical accompaniment while also giving a PowerPoint presentation and dancing. You'd better believe it.

There's a nice write-up of literary nights this week on Creative Tourist, which also mentions the fabulous experimental poetry night The Other Room (which unfortunately always seems to clash these days with Bad Language) and also the Manchester Literature Festival hub, the International Anthony Burgess Centre.

*NEWS JUST IN: the next (and last for now) Say Something is actually on Tuesday 28 February, 7.30pm at Sandbar, £1 entry. See the Facebook page for more.

On the interwebs

2012-01-05T11:17:00.003Z

Ah, the week when most people return to work, dragging their feet begrudgingly and wailing on about needing to detox. To celebrate my own return to perfecting the fine art of procrastination, sorry, freelancing, I've decided to give the old blog a little spring clean and makeover. Et voila. Out with the polka dots, in with the preppy stripes. So new season. Do tell me what you think.

I've also been busy squirrelling away jhoozing up author David Gaffney's website copy- and layout/navigation-wise (it needed some streamlining), and you can now feast your eyes upon my hours of toil here. I'm pretty pleased with the end result, and David hasn't yet ex-communicated me, so I guess he's ok with it too. So, if you need a website planning and writing and even building, you know where to find me.

The power of speech

2011-12-15T14:41:00.006Z

I'm making a concerted effort at the moment to write more stories and read at more places. Last week, I performed (yep, that's the pic) three pieces of flash at Say Something, a fairly new kid on the Manchester lit block and on its third (I think) trip out, this time at The Castle (the first two were at the Lass O'Gowrie). It's run by poet Zach Roddis, who I know from the Bad Language monthly spoken word nights, and it is tipped in favour of poetry - only myself, my FlashMob colleague Fat Roland and Bad Language's Dan Carpenter read prose. Still, it was a good event and well done to Zach for getting a regular slot at The Castle on Oldham Street. Follow him on Twitter (@zach2504) to find out when the next one is happening.

Also now going steady at The Castle is Mark Powell's Tales Of Whatever, a spoken word night with a difference: basically recounting a true story live and without notes (a bit like The Moth on the other side of the pond). Six story-tellers (including open mic, if you get inspired on the night) get around ten minutes each, and all three ToWs so far (September, November and last night) have been entertaining, interesting, informative and even emotional. They're the second Wednesday of every month and the next one is Wednesday 11 January; all the upcoming dates and details, and even some recordings, can be found on the ToW website.

Another headline herey*

2011-12-01T15:46:00.016Z

Last night, the Bad Language crew celebrated a year of spoken word shindigs at The Castle hotel in Manchester's Northern Quarter. The back room was really packed, and it was great to catch up with some lovely people I've met at the night (and at other literature events) over the last year and to meet some new folk too. There was birthday cake and much merriment, and the launch of a new anthology (BL's fourth, if I'm not mistaken) with readings from some of the contributors, including prose types and fellow FlashTag writers Benjamin Judge, Fat Roland and Tom Mason, plus Nija Dalal and Nick Garrard, and poetry types Sian Rathore, Anna Percy and Mercedes Fonseca.

The headline slot was divided into two flash fiction sets: one from National Flash-Fiction Day organiser Calum Kerr; t'other from grandmaster flash himself David Gaffney ...and me! Yep, for one night only, and kept secret til the last minute, I was David's "glamorous assistant". I read four of his new stories while he http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifaccompanied me on a Casio keyboard with some specially created tunes, and there was rapturous applause and laughter at our comehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifdy double act, silly dancing and ridiculous amount of swears. And yep, we rolled out the "David and his organ" joke. It would be rude not to, really.

Audioboo here. Lawks.

More write-ups of the soiree, from Nici West and Jo Bell and Guy Garrud.

You can read two of the stories, Eat Less Pastry and Inches From What You Want, on David's website here.

*Another one for the sub-editors amongst you.

Headline herey*

2011-11-25T13:04:00.004Z

Last night I read at the University of Bolton's Live Literature night, just little old me and the poet Steven Blyth, who was a very nice man indeed. This was the first time I've read an extended set - about 20 minutes in the first half and another 15 in the second; probably about 10 stories in all.

It was petrifying but really nice to get such a lovely reception: lots of laughing and clapping and people saying how much they enjoyed it. I even had to sign books (!) and do a Q&A, and when I was asked about flash fiction, I had to pretend to be all intellectual, like. Ah, you know me. Mentioned Ernest Hemingway; that seemed to do the trick. That, or the patent red high heels.

Anyway, I got quite a buzz from doing it, despite serious jitters beforehand and some awful shakes during (not the DTs, for once). So if you need me to perform at your spoken word night, wedding or Bar Mitzvah, just let me know.

The Live Literature nights are back in the new year. February is Zoe Lambert and Jon Glover, both of whom were in attendance last night and very supportive. The month after it's Jane Rogers and Gwendoline Riley. Can't ruddy wait. Check out the Bolton Uni website for more.

*That's a subbing joke.

Points of sale tales

2011-11-21T14:04:00.003Z

Ah, site-specific story-telling: this year's new black. But it doesn't matter if everyone seems to be at it; the great thing about writing about place is how the tales vary between writers: even one small location can open up so many different interpretations. At last week's Re:Tale, the location was the Jigsaw clothes store in Manchester's slightly odd Triangle shopping centre. Six writers who know each other largely via the monthly Bad Language spoken word night brought a crowd of 30-odd six very different imaginings of life in the retail sector, some of which linked together to form a coherent whole.

Kicking off with my Flashtag colleague Fat Roland and his many props, we were then taken past the wonderful glazed green tiles of the staircase to the circular personal shopping area where Nici West told the tale of deaths on the shopfloor. Nici led us on to Dan Carpenter in the main shop, where he disconcerted us with his store assistant stalker and a Polaroid camera.

Following a break for liquid sustenance, we were treated to the inimitable style of Joe Daly: exiting a changing room, he instantly had people in stitches with his shoplifting stockbroker story. Next up was another Flashtag member, Dave Hartley, till rolls a-go-go; then the event was rounded off by Nick Garrard, with the Triangle's lovely dome roof and glittering festive lights providing the backdrop.

I have to admit, I wasn't quite sure what to expect and was slightly concerned that this kind of thing has been exhausted, but this was a really inspiring, engaging and enjoyable event. And I want all the clothes, if someone could sort that out. Ta.

You can read another review of the event on Cultural Shenanigans, by Laura Maley (pictured above grasping the end of one of L'il Dave's till rolls).

Books n blogs

2011-11-01T14:51:00.005Z

So the bulk of Manchester Literature Festival is over, bar a couple of "bookend" events (Anthony Horowitz on Thursday; Jeffrey Eugenides on Sunday), and I'm just doing the last bit of mopping up as this year's digital marketing person. It's been really great, experience and fun wise, and I've been kept massively busy running the Twitter and Facebook accounts, writing e-newsletters and articles for the likes of Manchester Lit List and Creative Times, and editing the official Manchester Literature Festival Blog.

This in particular has been fab and has seen me introducing some new features in the run-up to the Festival to whet people's whistles: a redesign; "Writes & Reads" Q&As with some of the writers taking part during festival fortnight; "My Festival" top five picks with authors from in and around Manchester; a series showcasing the various themes running through the festival, and a number of jointly blogged events, which was also a first. I've also been to loads of events and blogged a few myself. Here are some of the reviews and previews I wrote this year:

Patricia Duncker
Manchester Fiction Prize
MLF VIP launch
Theme #4: Literary Tours
Theme #3: Family Fun
Theme #1: Modern European

Lit chick, indeed

2011-10-22T15:41:00.007+01:00

Wow, what a hectic couple of weeks it's been in literary Manchester. I've been working on the Manchester Literature Festival doing digital marketing and helping/blogging at various events; visiting the Book Barge in Castlefield; writing and distributing stories as part of my new Site Specific Stories project; pitching for an artist in residency slot with an in situ site-specific short story-writing idea; reading on stage at the Manchester Blog Awards; getting slagged off by someone for being part of the so-called "Manchester literati"; going on loads of literature-based and psychogeographical tours of this great city, and generally running about the place trying to down as many glasses of wine as is humanly possible (drinking wine is a prerequisite of being "literary", right?).

I would say it, but the Manchester Literature Festival has been ace, and it's a shame that it comes to its official close tomorrow (though there are a couple of "bookend" events in early November). Highlights for me have been the European Short Stories event, which was great from a linguist's point of view: stories read by the authors in their native languages (Dutch and Norwegian) while the English translation was shown on screen. Despite having not a word of Norwegian, it was really intriguing to see how you can actually follow it in translation. I also really enjoyed Patricia Duncker's specially commissioned short story in the grand surrounds of the Midland Hotel, plus a nice brew and a scone (note to self: start hanging out here). And PD - what a charming and enthusiastic lady, and such a talented way with words! Other short story joy was had at the glittering Manchester Fiction Prize and the Manchester Blog Awards, and there will be more this week at Bad Language, where I'll be performing a new number, and the Bolton Octagon, where David Gaffney will be reading as part of the Live Literature season, which I'm at next month, likely a quivering wreck.

But I've also been getting a bit of a poetry fix, and today swung by the Whitworth, where the Poetry Takeaway van had pulled up (pictured). "The world's first mobile poetry emporium" was great fun - you divulge some secrets to one of the three poets therein (including someone from the well-renowned Bang Said The Gun) and they spend no more than 10 minutes rustling up a piece based on your witterings then perform it for you and provide you with a copy, wrapped in a kind of takeaway packet. My poem, Multi-task, was scribed for me by none other than exuberant "local" lad Dominic Berry, who I know from Bad Language; I can't believe what a genius creation he came up with - complete with the word "ladyparts", which I just knew I shouldn't have told him about, but which fits in well. It's brilliant and he's going to post it up on his blog soon, so watch his space.

Writing - and reading

2011-10-19T13:30:00.003+01:00

My new story, part of my new project I've been Twittering on about, has today been published on 330 Words, which is up for a gong in tonight's glittering Manchester Blog Awards. I will take to the stage and read it, so do pop by. I'll tell you more about the project here soon. In the meantime, feel free to check out the website, Site Specific Stories. You can read the story, Solid Foundations Are Of Paramount Importance here.

errata 404

2011-10-10T14:21:00.003+01:00

I am currently well into the idea of guerilla writing and I'm working it into a pitch I'm putting forward for a project. You know the concept of guerilla gardening, right? A bunch of greenies go round and plant stuff in urban areas that are unloved and uncared for. I remember sunflowers near Blackfriars, opposite the pub where I used to go to for my Friday lunchtime pie and a pint treat with my Scouse art director; Northerners in exile together. The other day, I spotted some tomatoes growing by the multi-storey near the Arndale. So think about guerilla writing as something a bit along those lines: basically leaving short stories or poems in places you wouldn't expect, like library books or magazines in dentists' waiting rooms or phone books in bars or under car windscreen wipers.

So I'm proper liking my mate David Gaffney's new literature project Errata, which is running until January in Cornerhouse Bookshop as part of Micro Commissions.

David - author of flash fiction collections Sawn-off Tales, Aromabingo and The Half-life Of Songs plus novel Never Never, and whose sound installation Boy You Turn Me is on at Birmingham Book Festival until 16 October (see my review on Creative Times here) - gave me the skinny on the project, which explores ideas around truth and authenticity.

Says David: "Errata slips are inserted into magazines and books to correct errors or typographical mistakes, but I'm using the format in a different way – to disseminate lies and tell stories. Each of my slips relates to a page of content in different periodicals in Cornerhouse Bookshop, adding a fictional dimension to the publication, disrupting the reader’s engagement with the text and throwing into doubt the veracity of what they are reading. As the slips are put in only certain magazines, and secretly, you won't know whether you will find one or not."

Hahaha, subversive. And they're funny too; I've been getting my kicks out of proofreading them. Scan the QR code for more or, if you're so last century, click here.

Arts seen

2011-10-04T12:56:00.003+01:00

It's one of those points in the year when, just like buses, all the art shows come along at once. Dark Matters just launched at the Whitworth (with pieces - from Bacon to Whiteread - exploring shadows and illusion, so I'll make it down Oxford Road at some point before 15 January), the same day Ford Madox Brown: Pre-Raphaelite Pioneer opened at Manchester Art Gallery until 29 January.

Much anticipated, this is the first major exhibition of the former Manchester-dweller's work, and it's definitely very comprehensive. I was treated to a tour by curator Julian Treuherz, who pointed out all the themes and styles and gave a potted background history of the paintings and painter. I found Brown's perspective somewhat naive and some of the colours rather on the kitsch side, but it wasn't not interesting and I did like the stained glass, the cartoons and the furniture he designed for William Morris. It's £8 or £6 concessions - head down on Tuesday 18 October, and you'll also get some poems about the show courtesy Jean Sprackland who has been specially commissioned by Manchester Literature Festival. See here for more on that.

On Saturday, Cornerhouse flung wide the doors to the first major public solo UK exhibition by one of the most prominent contemporary artists working in South Asia today, Rashid Rana. Everything Is Happening At Once is part of the Asia Triennial Manchester II festival, which is running concurrently across various venues in and around the city until 27 November.

Back to Rana, though, and I thoroughly recommend you catch this free show over all three of Cornerhouse's galleries (it goes beyond the festival to 18 December). Gallery 1 explores comparisons, and I was taken by the study of time versus space illustrated by The World Is Not Enough and Dis-location I, a pixellated image of a street scene made up by the mosaic of tiny snapshots of life in Lahore. Gallery 2 offers up some more controversial themes, from the blood and gore of the Rothko-like series What Lies Between Flesh And Blood to Veil VI, a collage of miniature jazz mag photos worked together to create a full-size piece and make a statement about the role of women in both Western and non-Western cultures. On the top floor, the montage of shop signs, ads and graffiti of Language Series II is almost Impressionistic in colour and abstractness, but the real treat in Gallery 3 is Desperately Seeking Paradise II (pictured). Approaching this huge, almost architectural, structure, you see yourself reflected in its mirrored surfaces, then as you move round the room it dominates, you can see behind the separate tiles and a whole new view becomes available - again from the small-scale images to the bigger picture: in this case a skyline not unlike a pre-9/11 New York, another political message, one presumes.

Smut peddling

2011-10-03T14:50:00.005+01:00

You can now finger Quickies: Short Stories For Adults, a collection of erotic flash fiction to titilate and tease. The book features 35 very varied stories on the subject of lust and love written by some of the UK’s best writers including David Gaffney, Emma Jane Unsworth, Chris Killen, Valerie O’Riordan, Socrates Adams, Claire Massey and Tania Hershman. Oh, and me. Heh.

You can stroke a hard copy (as modelled here by my Flashtag Writer colleague Lil Dave) for just £5 either by ordering through our website or by whispering sweet nothings to one of the Flashtag Writers, or by swinging by Blackwell's bookshop on Oxford Road.

You can also download the wares pixel by pink pixel - yes yes yes, we have a Kindle! There's a link on our website here or go direct to Amazon here.

My writing here

2011-09-30T11:48:00.004+01:00

It's dress-down Friday, the perfect backdrop for reading my story Dress-down Friday, which has more stationery and workplace action, and which was published this week on The Pygmy Giant. Yay! You can read it here.

Today, my contribution to the Paraxis Library Wall has also gone live, along with a piece from my mum and submissions from various of my friends.

You can see the whole wall here and my contribution here. The editors had to chop off the last bit of my story because of its smutty content (it is a "companion piece" to Susie Loves Words, which appears in the Quickies: Short Stories For Adults anthology we launched this week - details on how to get your mitts on a copy on the blog soon!), so I'm publishing the story in its entirety here...

Microfiche by Sarah-Clare Conlon

You spend half your working day flicking through the dictionary; “the good book”. You edit report after boring report and pretend to look up specialised jargon alternatives in the thesaurus. You are actually poring over rude words, testing your encyclopaedic knowledge of swears against Roget. You usually win; the man has no sense of imagination. You couldn’t if you invented such a complicated cross-referencing system.

The challenge gives you an idea for an art project: one you’re certain you’d get funding for. The arts lot’d love it; they’d put on their special voices and everything. You’d catalogue all your favourite naughty phrases using library coding parameters, store them on microfiche and display the results on a light box in a darkened room that adds to the suggestive atmosphere. Accompanying this would be a series of Venn diagrams: male bits intersecting with female bits; the subset of shared bits including nipples, arses, hard, panting.

Smut and stuff

2011-09-21T16:11:00.004+01:00

OK, so before I start getting complaints again about not updating the old blog, here you go. I've been working tres hard on the Manchester Literature Festival Blog writing posts and quizzing various writers about various things, so why not pop over and read those here.

I've also been busily squirrelling away at keeping my Wednesday promise of publishing bad words on We Hate Words. You can see that here.

Then, I've been writing another ton of short stories to submit to different zines and anthologies and wotnot and stuff and also to read at a number of upcoming spoken word events, starting with the Bad Shoes Festival this Sunday. I'm in the spotlight in the 2-2.30pm FlashTag Mcr slot in BoCho's Electrik.

And apart from all that (and other secret and not-so-secret projects), I've been frantically organising and promoting the FlashTag Smut Night, which takes place a week tonight - Wednesday 28 September, 8pm, Northern Lawn Tennis Club, Palatine Road, Didsbury. We'll be launching our collection of filthy flash fiction, Quickies: Stories For Adults, and hosting a night of dirty readings featuring our good selves and some of the contributors to the book (a book! A real-life book!).

As I say in the press release: “I’ve been gagging to run a literary-based Smut Night for ages and this seemed like the ideal opportunity – I think an evening of tongue-in-cheek saucy and romantic stories in the curtain-twitching suburbs will go down a treat!” Oo-er missus.

It's a free event and on stage will be, among others, Bristol Prize-winner and Whalley Ranger Valerie O'Riordan; Didsbury author Socrates Adams, whose debut novel Everything's Fine launches at Manchester Literature Festival in October; South Manchester-based Chris Killen, author of The Bird Room, described by The Independent as “exciting and perfectly formed”; Didsbury-based Salt New Voices poet Adrian Slatcher, and Claire Massey, whose work appears in The Best British Short Stories 2011 and Nicholas Royle’s Murmurations, which also launches at DAF (Monday 26 September, 8pm, Pizza Express, Lapwing Lane).

Our headline act is David Gaffney, the “grandmaster of flash fiction” (Bookmunch) and “one of the foremost writers in the short fiction arena” (The Short Review), and author of three critically acclaimed flash fiction collections, Sawn-off Tales, Aromabingo (which he's just lent me) and The Half-life Of Songs, plus the novel Never Never. At Smut Night, he will be reading the story he has written especially for Quickies along with some of his other work. You should so come...

Preparation and procrastination

2011-09-18T12:20:00.003+01:00

Preparation so far for the Mills & Boon writing challenge has involved: 1) thinking a lot more than I'd expected; 2) putting on a giant sparkly ring to help me channel my inner Barbara Cartland; 3) reading the first chapters of Stay Through The Night by Anne Mather (Modern Romance), Crazy About The Boss by Teresa Southwick, Break Up To Make Up by Fiona Harper and, by far my favourite title to date, Business Arrangement Bride by Jessica Hart. (The last three are all in the Romance series; pink covers.) I am now going to come up with some character names and write a synopsis.

Mills & Boon challenge #2

2011-09-16T18:08:00.003+01:00

Oh my giddy aunt. Mills & Boon are only looking for new blood for their Romance imprint and are after first chapters by 10 October. Aghhhh! So soon! But I said I'd apply myself to this challenge even before I knew about this particular challenge, so it seems like an opportunity not to be missed. Weekend activities sorted! I'll keep you posted as to progress via the blog and the Twittersphere...

Diva-lution

2011-09-15T17:02:00.004+01:00

Ten days remain for you to hotfoot it over to Salford Quays to check out The Lowry's Warhol & The Diva show. I recommend that you do. It's really nicely curated, starting with Polaroids of each of the famous faces Andy Warhol persuaded to sit for him. Next, you move onto those famous huge bright screenprints. There's a fantastic Liza Minnelli, all black spiky fringe and shiny red mouth. There's a wonderful Debbie Harry, again red lipstick a-gogo, hung on an animal-print background which sets the picture off beautifully. There's Liz Taylor, there's Jane Fonda, there's Mick Jagger, and, of course, most famous of all, there's Marilyn Monroe - in fact, there are a few Marilyn Monroes.

The works have been borrowed from The Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh, specially selected by curator Kate Farrell. Kate has cleverly juxtaposed the portraits with photographs of Warhol wearing a wig and make-up, himself the diva to Christopher Makos's lens, and with a really interesting video of the artist undergoing his makeover, seemingly very vulnerable and nervous. There's also a corridor-type room displaying copies of Interview magazine, which used Warhol's diva images on the cover, and this provides the context of Pop Art and serves to give the exhibition extra depth.

It's a well-rounded show, and worth the trip to the windswept wastes. And it's free. No excuse.

Write here write now

2011-09-11T17:37:00.004+01:00

Uh-huh, I know what you're thinking: she's neglecting her duties again. Well, in my defence, I've been busy sorting out blogs for other lovely folk, namely, this week, Manchester Literature Festival, Tweed Ride and Cracking Good Food.

I've also been tinkering away at another ton of short stories, and today the 200-word piece about spies, stationery and sex, Names Have Been Changed, was published in issue 6 of the wonderful Spilt Milk Magazine. Tell you what, why don't you have a mosey on over there and read that...

A moment of fiction #16

2011-09-02T14:26:00.003+01:00

Haven't done one of these for a while; been too busy writing and submitting my own stuff. Sorry about that; I'll try and pay more attention to you lovely people.

This is a poetry special: the next two weeks have some great sounding bits and bobs going on all around the rainy city.

Tonight, Dominic Berry's regular shindig Poets Get Smashed is on at An Outlet on Dale Street. It starts at 7.30pm and is £3/2 in. As well as a first-come-first-signed open mic, there will be a guest slot from James Quinn.

Tomorrow, there is the Writers Forum North workshop at Madlab on Edge Street, running 1-3pm. WFW(N) is a get-together for innovative/experimental poets to share and receive feedback on their works-in-progress. You can read more about it here.

On Sunday at 1pm, poet Sarah L Dixon heads up First Sundays, a monthly writing workshop in Chorlton Library, for a mere £2.

Monday sees Anna Percy's Stirred night at Sandbar on Grosvenor Street (£2/1). Kicking off at 7pm, it includes readings of work by current and forgotten female writers, open mic (men allowed if they read a female poet’s poem) and guest readers.

On Thursday from 5.30pm the 200th issue of Michael Schmidt (of Carcanet Press)'s poetry magazine PN Review is being celebrated at the International Anthony Burgess Centre on Cambridge Street. There will be a talk by Patrick McGuinness, PN Review contributor and Booker-prize longlisted author, a discussion about poetry magazine publishing, and readings by Tara Bergin and Jeffrey Wainwright. More here.

Also on Thursday, at 7.30pm, The Castle on Oldham Street plays host to Lend Me Your Ears, a monthly night with performances by poets, authors, singer-songwriters, bands and film-makers.

A week tomorrow, on Saturday 10 starting at noon, it's Second Saturdays, the regular writing (poems, prose, scripts, songs, blogs) workshop from paperplanes led by poet and Commonword trustee Steve Waling and Comma fiction writer Anthony Sides. £14/9; Trof on Landcross Road in Fallowfield.

On Monday 12, at 6pm, Knives Forks and Spoons Press poets Simon Rennie and Steph Pike will be reading at the Becker Room in the City Library on Deansgate. Free.

On Friday 16 at 7.50pm in Chorlton Library is Copland Smith's monthly Manky Poets event (£2/1), with open mic and guest Joan Poulson.

There's loads more listings for the rest of the month and beyond on this great MMU site.

Wordy Wednesdays

2011-09-01T12:02:00.000+01:00

LAST WEDNESDAY
Last week I tripped the light fantastic over to The Other Room at the Old Abbey Inn (impossible to find, but really nice once you do locate it). This was my inaugural visit to the free experimental poetry event, and I shall definitely be gracing it with my presence again in future. Organised by Tom Jenks (of Station Stories), James Davies and Scott Thurston, this wasn't quite as hardcore experimental as I'd been slightly dreading, though Rachel Lois Clapham's set was a teeny bit bonkers. Rachel's film and showcard presentation was preceded by David Berridge with some very long sentences and a whole lot of page-turning. He was preceded by Philip Terry, with some modern-day Shakespeare-style sonnets that raised more than a few titters. (Like him, BTW: he's into Oulipo and Raymond Queneau. Squee!) The next installation of The Other Room is (irregularly) on Monday 26 September, 7pm, at the International Anthony Burgess Foundation on Cambridge Street. (Nice bit of Pierrot Le Fou action on the flyer for last time too.)

THIS WEDNESDAY
Last night it was the monthly Bad Language knees-up. In September (oh looky, we're here already), they're taking a break to come to the FlashTagMcr Smut Night launch of the Quickies anthology at Didsbury Arts Festival, but they're back at The Castle in October to celebrate their first birthday with a fourth anthology (submissions open now; theme: bad language. With my potty mouth I'm feckin sorted). Anyway, last night many of the usual suspects read (Tom Mason, Dave Hartley, Fat Roland) plus a few newbies, poet David Tait plus headliner Max Wallis. I read two short pieces, Tu, Vous, You, about an even bigger Francophile than myself, and Her Fancier Man, which has just been published on 330 Words so do go read.

NEXT WEDNESDAY
We've teamed up with our chums from the aforementioned Bad Language writing collective to bring you our second Flash Language Literary Pub Quiz, following the success of our Not Part Of festival event back in July. It's next Wednesday (7 September) and the fun and frivolities kick off at 7pm in Barcelona Bar on Thomas Street in the Northern Quarter. It’s a pound each and we promise that for that vast outlay you will have oodles of laughs. Read more here.

Books the trend

2011-08-31T10:40:00.000+01:00

If you haven't heard of For Books’ Sake - subtitle: "books by and for independent women" - then where have you been? Apart from having probably the best title of any website ever, it's an ezine promoting and celebrating writing by women, and today it is one!

In the last year, For Books’ Sake has featured news, reviews and interviews with iconic and upcoming women authors, been involved in World Book Night 2011 alongside author Margaret Atwood, curated the three-day literary programme for Ladyfest Ten, set up their own lending library and interactive forum, collaborated with Pulp Press on an anthology of the best pulp fiction written by women, scheduled for publication later this year, and coordinated regular live literary events and book groups in Manchester and beyond - not just in that London, which deserves some praise in itself! Plans afoot include a monthly literary clubnight in Manchester, so watch this space.

The girls behind FBS are so ace, and deserve plenty of cake for their efforts. I didn't have any time for baking over the bank holiday, so I've provided a testimonial instead. It goes something like this: "I discovered For Books' Sake back in November, so no longer a babe-in-arms but already a healthy, bouncing site. As something of a spoken word fan, I really love to keep up to date with all the events news and reviews - and the FBS shindigs themselves - plus the regular writing competitions and submissions info." There you go. And if you want to read some stuff I've written for the lovely ladies, you can go here, here and here.

Posts win prizes

2011-08-25T13:55:00.001+01:00

In case you haven't heard, nominations are now open for the Manchester Blog Awards 2011, and you might even be in with a chance as this time round previous Best New Blog sash-wearer Words & Fixtures isn't allowed to enter. Could this be because: a) last year she got drunk and stormed the stage Cocker-style after not winning anything; b) the organisers fear that if they let her anywhere near a microphone all kinds of filth is likely to spew forth and fill the innocent minds of the great and the good there gathered; c) she works for Manchester Literature Festival, so it might look a bit weird as they're one of the sponsors?*

This is the sixth year of the awards, which celebrate the best online writing in the city, show what an amazing blogging scene there is here and give us the chance to sneak out from behind our computer screens to drink copious amounts of grog and meet fabulous fellow bloggers.

Visit the Manchester Blog Awards website to nominate your favourite Manchester blogs in the following categories: Best Writing, Best Arts and Culture Blog, Best City or Neighbourhood Blog, Best New Blog and Best Personal Blog. Nominations close at 5pm on Sunday 18 September and the winners will be announced at a glittering awards ceremony during Manchester Literature Festival at 7pm on Wednesday 19 October in the fab upstairs room at The Deaf Institute. As well as the presentation of gongs, there will be readings from the winners of The Real Story creative non-fiction competition (closing date for entries is this Saturday!) and Socrates Adams, who'll be treating the audience to extracts from his fantastic forthcoming debut, Everything’s Fine (proofread by yours truly).

*It's c.

Flash fiction friction

2011-08-18T10:16:00.002+01:00

Following on from yesterday's post, today I found out that one of my 100-character stories using the word "revolve" has made it into the top five in my group and got me through to the next round of the NYC Midnight flash fiction competition. Mine was the first choice in the public vote in my group's 25 stories - aw, shucks! This means I've been whittled down from 800 writers to the last 100, which is really rather marvellous.

Today, me and the other 99 remaining writers will be given another word to write three new 100-character tales about in 12 hours; the 25 top ones picked by the judges will be put to another online vote to ascertain who gets to win one hundred American dollars. This is definitely going to be a challenge since the new word is circulated at midnight New York time, so about 5pm BST, just at the point I'll be off gin-quaffing and am-dramming. Ho-hum.

Here's the story that has brought me this far...

Spin. Twist. Revolve. I'm mesmerised. Arms curved, leg kinked. I love you, jewellery box dancer. // by Sarah-Clare Conlon

Short shorts

2011-08-17T16:33:00.004+01:00

I've been writing some proper flash fiction this week. I've been whittled down from 800 writers to 500 in the first round of the 100-character micro challenge being run by NYC Midnight, and two out of three of my stories including the word "revolve" have been picked and are up for voting. Please go and put your ticks in the boxes here before the public vote closes RIGHT NOW.

I also submitted a 100-word story, inspired by a photo of a man getting on a train, to Stylist's short story competition. It didn't make it through, but here it is anyway...

Sleepers
Boarding a train instantly opens up a whole new unexplored set of opportunities and outcomes, possibilities and probabilities. Anything could happen; often it does. Colette is dragging her luggage onto the sleeper in Gare de Lyon when she feels someone hoof up the steps behind her. Jerking round at the suddenness of the pounce, her eyes fall into a brilliant gaze beneath a dark hood. The stranger shakes his head free, smiling, and takes the weight of Colette’s case. Pushing it into the second car along the corridor, he turns, reaches for her hand and pulls her in after him.

Words and festival

2011-08-16T15:36:00.004+01:00

Have I mentioned Manchester Literature Festival to you yet? I mean here, on Words & Fixtures, not here on the fabulous new-look Manchester Literature Festival Blog or here on the @McrLitFest Twitter feed. No I haven't. Well, I'm mentioning it right here right now because the line-up has just been announced and it is all very splendid indeed. The two-week shindig kicks off on 10 October and runs until 23 October. I suggest you head on over to the MLF website and have a shufty at all the fabulous things on offer.

Mills & Boon challenge update

2011-08-11T10:18:00.006+01:00

It's 11 August. I'm sure you're pretty much aware of that, but I mention it as it's significant. It's exactly a month since I announced my Mills & Boon challenge and exactly a month later I am announcing its termination. Yes, I've given up. Call me uncommitted, but last night I picked up my seemingly well-thumbed copy of Julie Cohen's Featured Attraction and realised with horror that I've been reading it since 20 July and am still less than halfway through. They still haven't had sex; they've had a couple of snogs but Kitty the main character is properly mixed up in the head and keeps running off whenever Jack goes near her. She's basically playing hard to get, but she doesn't seem to realise it. Frankly, I just can't be arsed. I managed to read two and a half novels: the thought of getting through the original figure of seven (one per day for a week) now seems rather silly. I'm reading some proper sauce now instead: Confessions: A Collection Of Erotic Fiction. Expect some radio silence for a while...

Images by Oli + Alex.

Rainy day

2011-08-09T09:52:00.004+01:00

One of my short stories has been published on Rainy City Stories; you can read it here. It's called Poster Girl and the action takes place in the Northern Quarter. All the pieces on Rainy City Stories are set in Manchester; if you've not had the pleasure, the site is an interactive literary cityscape with the poetry and prose marked a bit like pins on a map you get in TV cop shows. I also have a poem, Hawthorn Lane, on the site. I know: poetry! Crazy talk.

Submissions are now closed for Rainy City Stories, which is a shame, but the folk behind it are running a new project, The Real Story. Part of Manchester Literature Festival, the competition is for short creative non-fiction. See my earlier posting for details.

Day tripper

2011-08-04T11:54:00.008+01:00

Yesterday I went on a train. This is obviously the kind of behaviour that warrants me the Twitter bio label "part-time adventuress". A train! Actually, I went on two trains: one there, one back. Imagine!

So I went on a train and the train went to Liverpool and I went on a train to Liverpool to look at some art. First off, I hotfooted it to the lovely becolumned Walker Gallery to see the show Art In Revolution: Liverpool 1911. It harks back to an exhibition of international Post-Impressionist and local avant-garde artists held in the Bluecoat 100 years ago. It didn't blow me away, I'll be honest, but it is very varied and there are some quite nice pieces (nice bit of Gaugin; some really nice woodcuts; a nice spot of Pointillist stuff, possibly even Seurat, I can't remember).

From here, I sauntered over to the Tate in the Albert Dockhhhhh. A giant table and chairs drew me Alice in Wonderland-style into Robert Therrien: Smoke Signals, but it was the towering pile of plates (above) that was really great - the gallery invigilator told us to be careful when walking around it, as the effect of the perspective throws you off balance. He wasn't wrong: it was an almost interactive experience.

Anyway, the reason why I really came to the Tate was to see Rene Magritte: The Pleasure Principle. It's on until 16 October, but I've been wanting to go for, like, ever. There's a ton of stuff: paintings, drawings, collages, ads (above), photos...
There's the bowler hat stuff, the train coming out of the fireplace, the Ceci n'est Pas Une Pipe series, giant apples, flapper ladies, lots of tits. I liked Les Charmes du Pays, a rifle next to an empty picture frame titled Paysage (above). Kinda funny. Also liked The Menaced Assassin for its strong narrative, Popular Panorama for it's cut-away multi-layered view, and The Lovers II (Les Amants) (below). Apparently this is inspired by an image from the cover of a private dick pulp fiction comic Nick Carter, Detective, where the dying heroine has her head hidden by a sheet, which has led to me spending a good part of the past hour looking at magazine covers on Google images. The Spicy Detective and Saucy Detective series look great.

Badass language

2011-08-02T14:39:00.001+01:00

Yesterday our good chum Daniel Carpenter, one third of Bad Language Manchester, launched a new writing and photography project: What Vanishes Will Vanish. All the info is on the website, but in a nutshell: submit a picture from your childhood along with a short story (up to 2,000 words), poetry (up to 40 lines) or non-fiction (2,000 words) inspired by it; a creative interpretation of the image, if you will. Submit words and pictures to dan@badlanguagemcr.co.uk. Follow @WhatVanishes on Twitter for updates.

Back to Bad Language, and I have been promising to do a little write-up of the shenanigans in the hottest room in Manchester last Wednesday, so here goes. I can't remember everyone who read or everything that was read, so this is just selected highlights and sorry if I don't mention you. The three hosts Nici West, Dan Carpenter and Joe Daly each brought us their usual high standard of tales, featuring subjects as disparate as team-building and star-spotting Paul Heaton on the bus. The guest star for the evening was the lovely Tom Fletcher, who read a few extracts from his second novel, The Thing On The Shore, which is nothing if not creepy.

Another published writer who appeared was Angela Smith, who I recognised from The Manchester Lit List write-up about the City Library launch of her debut poetry collection with Puppywolf, This Is The Me I Would Be If I Dared. Quite liked her pieces: modern and a bit in your face. Of the poets, Zach Roddis also deserves a mention. I like his stuff; it's young and fresh and he uses copious amounts of swears, which always keeps me happy. You can see some examples of his work on the Write Out Loud site.

On the prose tip, one story which stuck in my head was Nija Dalal's Young City, set in Atlanta, where she was brought up. Nija's work is always very personal and open, but at the same time intriguing and sometimes a bit David Lynchesque with her observations of America. In this particular story, I really liked the idea of her father dragging visitors to see the Gandhi statue and eating chutney sandwiches. I also loved some of the language and imagery, for starters: "Tumbledown shotgun shacks line potholed streets, close and huddled; a stern look could make these houses crumble" and "all roads intersecting Ponce De Leon Avenue change their names there, revealing an economic and racial fissure along a fault the whole world is guilty of".

Much to my dismay, I missed Fat Roland's (gimmick-free!!) performance of Michael Is A Beautiful Horse, A Dangerous Horse (yes, I was at the bar - needed some nosebag), but you can read the craziness that is that creation on FR's creative writing blog, Italic Eye, here. I don't want to give anything away, but can I just say one word? Carroty. Hahaha.

Tom Mason read his latest addition to his fantastic short story site 330 Words. Inspired by the current advert for match.com (which I've since seen), it's called Ukelele, and you can read it here. Tom even sang, though he's been embarrassed about it ever since. Tom's delivery is great; he always pauses for just the right length of time at just the right moments. Case in hand: "She hid her head under the pillow in embarrassment as he tried to think of a word that rhymed with foreskin.

"Nothing rhymed with foreskin."

I also read a piece from 330 Words, Bird Strike, which we won't go into again. This I bookended with two tiny tales of titillation, each, er, 69 words long. You can read them on my new home for saucy stories, Queen Of Tarts. (Disclaimer: adult content contained therein.) (Warning: this is a soft launch.)

Viewing figures

2011-07-31T17:42:00.008+01:00

The View From Here is the first major solo show by Manchester-based artist Andy Broadey, someone I've had the pleasure of meeting recently. Three photographic installations make up the Blankspace show: Display, Shadow Box and Day Room.

Display in the downstairs gallery is a series of monochrome photographs of overlapping Perspex leaflet holders, the sort you get in estate agents and job agencies. It gives the feel of a kind of chaotic order, and, if you look closely, you can see what appears to be a face in the plastic of one of the sleeves. Shadow Box, a set of four photograms - photographs made by passing light through a Perspex cube onto light-sensitive paper - are displayed in four separate smaller rooms upstairs alongside the cubes and lights that produced the almost watery compositions. Continuing with the light theme, Day Room, a wall-length site-specific work with very precisely presented images, shows the changing light in the large upstairs gallery over one day. This is an interesting project and the resulting artwork is visually appealing, with lots of subtle but warm colours. Andy's previous installation Day Room Summer Solstice 2009, pictured here, is a similar time-lapse concept and illustrates how effective the Blankspace piece is. Go and see for yourself; you have a week...

The View From Here runs all this week until Sunday 7 August. See the Blankspace website for more.

A moment of fiction #15

2011-07-27T16:50:00.000+01:00

Gosh, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that, kiddoes. Here's a round-up of current submissions, mainly short stories but some other stuff too.

First up, We Hate Words, under new management courtesy yours truly, is looking for contributions for publication every Wednesday. Anything up to 500 words (I lose concentration after a while); check out the website for submission details.

Paraxial Tales, run by the lovely Claire Massey and her mate Andy Hedgecock, is currently looking for up to 250 words on the subject of libraries. Deadline is 31 July.

FlashTag want submissions of filthy flash fiction (400 words max by 7 August). The successful contributions will go in an anthology - Quickies: Stories For Adults - alongside stories by Emma Jane Unsworth, David Gaffney, Nik Perring and others. Then on Wednesday 28 September, the collection will be launched at a special Smut Night as part of Didsbury Arts Festival with readings and guest slot by Mr Gaffney.

The bi-annual Manchester Fiction Prize is on the loose. Toby Litt won last time round, but it's open to new as well as established writers. Send in a short story of up to 3,000 words in length on any subject. It costs £15 to enter but there is £10,000 up for grabs for the winner plus the chance to read at a gala ceremony hosted as part of the 2011 Manchester Literature Festival. Deadline 12 August.

The Night Light are running a short story competition (up to 2,000 words on the theme of night) in conjunction with The Big Issue In The North. There is an entry fee of a fiver, but it all goes to charity, so no big deal. The closing date is 12 August.

The lovely ladies at For Books' Sake have joined up with Pulp Press to give gals a chance to put those dirty minds to good use. Enter their short story competition with a story of sexy heroines no more than 5,000 words. Closing date 15 August.

Submissions are being accepted until 15 August for the September issue of Salt Publishing's Horizon Review, the online review of literature and art: poems, stories, essays, articles and memoir, etc. See here for more.

The deadline for both the short story competition (up to two stories up to 2,000 words long each on the subject of maps) and Poetry Competition (one poem up to 40 lines also on the subject of maps) as part of Didsbury Arts Festival has been extended to 26 August.

The Real Story as part of Manchester Literature Festival is looking for creative non-fiction (personal essays or brief memoirs) of 2,000 words or less. Deadline 27 August.

Our mates Calum Kerr and Jo Bell's latest venture Gumbo Press are after flash fiction (500 words), short stories (2,000 words), poems (50 lines), script (2,000 words) and non-fiction (2,000 words) on the subject of light to put in their bi-monthly e-zine WordGumbo. Closing date for submissions 31 August.

Submissions are also currently open for the quarterly anthology of new short fiction published by The Fiction Desk (can't find a closing date, you'll have to do the legwork on that one). You don't have to pay them; they pay you! Not much, but a bit of beer money, like.

More words please

2011-07-25T14:06:00.004+01:00

This morning I was disappointed to learn that my Ask Ben & Clare co-writer Benjamin Judge's latest fledging project We Hate Words had been shelved due to pressures on his time. I was disappointed as I think it's a great site with good ideas offering a sanctuary for writers to vent their anger about rubbish words. I was also disappointed because I had submitted a piece about a word that I hate, and it hadn't yet been published.

It will be published on Wednesday. I have taken possession of the website's log-in details and that for the accompanying Twitter account. I urge you to check out the site and send in wonderful words about not-so-wonderful words. I have changed the submission rules slightly, so you don't have to write as much. I've also introduced a spelling mistake and poor punctuation section, so you can name and shame horrors of the grammar variety. Show and tell. I'm relying on you. Don't let me down...

Art and literature

2011-07-23T16:49:00.006+01:00

Yesterday, the wonderful wizard behind 330 Words (hi Tom!) published a short story I rustled up the other day and which I will be reading at Bad Language on Wednesday (7.30pm, The Castle - be there; I'll also be treating the audience to a couple of my rather more smutty stories. They are each 69 words long. Don't ask me why; it's a totally arbitrary wordcount, obviously).

Anyway, the 330 word story is rather less smutty, although it is about women withholding sexual privileges from their husbands and lovers (I nicked that phraseology off Wikipedia; more on that in a moment). It's sort of a feminist dystopia. I call women "birds", so that's likely to offend some people. The feedback I've had so far, however, has been very positive and one interesting comment I just heard is that it's not dissimilar to the Greek play Lysistrata by Aristophanes.

I had no idea. I was dragged up on The Wirral, mostly, and know nothing of Greek literature, except that it exists and I hear was quite popular. So Bird Strike, which you can read here, was not my poor attempt to plagiarise a far greater work of fiction. Still, I guess Aristophanes is no longer with us, so he's not going to get me on copyright issues in any case.

Wikipedia tells me that Lysistrata "is notable for its exposé of sexual relations in a male-dominated society and for its use of both double entendre and explicit obscenities". Good old Aristo, I like him already. And he had a bloody top beard.

The black and white illustration of Lysistrata is by Aubrey Beardsley, chum of Oscar Wilde, one of the dudes behind the Art Nouveau movement and exponent of those fabulous posters by the likes of Toulouse-Lautrec (Moulin Rouge - La Goulue pictured) and Mucha for which I have such a penchant. His work, I have learnt, is emphasised by the grotesque, the decadent and the erotic. Good oh.

Perry good

2011-07-22T14:23:00.005+01:00

Mother emailed to say how pleased she was to see me taking a break from erotic literature and talking about art on the blog again (she's an art teacher). So I thought I'd take the opportunity of having a spare lunchhour to nip to Manchester Art Gallery and check out the Grayson Perry aquisitions. Combine a snippet of sex with a bit of art. To my shame and chagrin, this mini show opened way back in February, but it's on until February 2012, so at least I still made it in the first half of its run.

Visual Dialogues features the gallery's two recently purchased artworks by Grayson Perry: the large ceramic vase Jane Austen In E17 (2009) and the etching Print For A Politician (2003).

The long landscape (seen in the background in the photo), in the subtle red and cream hues of a French toile wallpaper, looks like one of those old city views or a battle scene, which is what it is. Various groups of mini figures are labelled, with the "tabloids" firing missiles across the sky, the "minimalists" crashing and burning in a plane, and "childless couples" threatening the rest of society in their helicopter gunship. There are "townies", "rockers" and "smokers", "animal rights activists" and "paranoid conspiracy theorists". It's good; I spent ages looking at the minute details. Great billowing clouds of smoke, lots of Goyaesque blood and gore.

Love that the "women" are just meandering around in bonnets and long Jane Austen-style frocks (I feel a common thread here) while the "men" are holding court at the top of a tower, which, as the tallest erection in the piece (even bigger than the mountains), presumably alludes to phalluses.

This is another running theme in the works on display: the companion vases Entrance To The Forest (2002) have pink flacid penises as trees and golden used prophylactics scattered about the woodland scenery. Perry says the pair of ceramics represent "the mythical gloomy wood, but also the seedy cruising grounds of urban parks". Ah, how romantic.

Pia-pia-pianola

2011-07-21T16:03:00.011+01:00

Let's talk about art, baby. Yep, in a break to our usual scheduling, we're having a look at art, you know, like we always used to do before we got sidetracked by smut peddling.

So, you may have been aware that Manchester International Festival was on just recently, and last Thursday I finally got round to going to the 11 Rooms show at Manchester Art Gallery. Maybe it's just me, but a man in a soldier's uniform standing in the corner of a room staring at the wall isn't what I'd call art. Nor is a pre-teen girl reciting a very strange text and interacting with the audience. And what on earth was Marina Abramovic doing putting that poor woman up on a wall in the nid, seemingly pretending to be a clock. Her arms must've been killing her. Sorry. I was a little non-plussed, to be honest, although I will admit that I was rather intrigued by Xu Zen’s In Just A Blink Of An Eye with a guy mid backflip - real; not real? Also quite liked Lucy Raven’s out-of-tune pianola programmed with the worst Les Dawson duet ever. But is it art?

Player pianos seem to be de rigueur with the old artists at the moment. Constellations at Cornerhouse features a Yamaha Disklavier, although it didn't seem to be working when I went, and from what I saw, Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata was being played through a stereo. Still, it did mean that my friend could show off his own keyboard skills, which made curator Karen Gaskill laugh when I told her. I thought we were going to get slung out. The music is the result of Katie Paterson transmitting a Morse code message of the piece to the Moon, which, when reflected back to Earth, was turned into the score (like Raven's 11 Rooms work, imperfect) that you hear in the airy top-floor gallery. The punched pianola roll is also displayed as part of Earth-Moon-Earth, and, as a whole, it's an interesting project.

Image by WeAreTape, from the Cornerhouse website.

I was also partial to Takahiro Iwasaki's work in Gallery 2: miniature pylons and masts; structures we usually only consider large and imposing. I was particularly drawn to the composition with coloured towels, called Out Of Disorder, Towels (pictured). Maybe I like bathroom accessories.

Two other artists, Kitty Kraus and Felix Gonzalez-Torres, make up the remainder of the exhibition, which "explores impermanence, ephemerality and movement". The show continues until Sunday 11 September and is co-curated by Michelle Kasprzak. I only told you about Karen earlier because she is my friend. There we go: a bit of healthy name-dropping on a Thursday afternoon.

One for the ladies

2011-07-21T13:07:00.003+01:00

Ladies, the fabulous gals at For Books' Sake have joined forces with Pulp Press to give y'all a chance to put those dirty minds to good use. Enter their short story competition (5,000 words max; closing date 15 August), why dontcha: all the details are here. Get cracking...

More M&B action...

2011-07-20T17:01:00.003+01:00

OMG, just look at this.

I have no idea who Oli + Alex are. I was shown this link through the magic of Twitter by @nerissact, and I just had to share, my darlings. You'd never forgive me if I didn't. I don't have the foggiest where Oli + Alex live, but as it's highly likely they're on this side of the Pond (given the media cuttings) and as they are creative partners at an ad agency, I'm guessing they're shithot on copyright stuff so I'm crediting them and hoping they don't mind me lifting their image: thanks for having such ace imaginations, Alex Holder and Oli Beale. Will you be my friends? (Original Dark Obsession book illustration by Len Goldberg, btw.)

One track mind

2011-07-20T12:16:00.006+01:00

I'm afraid the Mills & Boon challenge hasn't been too hot so far - I've certainly not managed to read one a day as intended. I started with the rather quite good Charade Of The Heart by Cathy Williams, from the old Romance imprint, then went on to the disappointing A Passionate Protector by Maggie Cox, part of the more recent Modern Romance series. I was going to read one of the three pink books I have, which I believe are more soppy and with less sex, but I can't wait until chapter friggin 9 for the sex, so I'm moving straight onto Modern Romance Extra, and Featured Attraction by Julie Cohen...

"If Jack's dangerously sexy charm still has the power to set Kitty's pulse racing, the obvious solution is to avoid him... If only it were that easy!"

Woof! Well, while I get on with that, here's something for you to be reading: a magazine feature called 35 Sensational Literary Sex Scenes, which appears to range from the ridiculous to the sublime. Enjoy!

Automatic writing for the people

2011-07-16T21:57:00.009+01:00

Right. So the other day I did this thing called The Reading, as part of the Not Part Of festival. You may have read about it here. You have three hours to write, in a specified slot, in an art gallery and there are 72 writers in total; each one is given the last paragraph of the last person's story to use as "inspiration" to write a completely new story. A bit like a chain letter. (Bastard, I hated chain letters - they were all the fucking rage in the 70s. Not that I wish to divulge my age, or anything of that sort.)

Right, so, it's a sort of automatic writing - y'know like what the Beats did. Or Oulipo. And I took part in this artistic expression experience on Thursday. It was interesting, if a little difficult. Anyway, I thought I would share with you the culmination of my efforts; tell me what you think. If I were to give it a title, I think I'd call it The Plan.

The paragraph that I was left sprung forth from the genius mind of my mate L'il Dave; without further ado, here's David Hartley's final par and then, after the stars, a strange story by me...

She was faced with the end of the world but she wanted no part of it. If this was collective imagination, then the collective could keep it. Half a mile behind her, blades rotating through the past, Ollie's helicopter was waiting. She took one last look at the roaring future, shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

*****************************************************************************

The past, the future: you can keep them. The present, that's where it's at; the here and now. Take each day at a time - you have no idea what it will throw at you. Just react as it happens. Live your life real time. Look at you now. You're live-streaming your thoughts out into the ether. You don't know why: as if anyone even cares, right?

But someone does, somewhere. They look at the words you spew forth every day on those modern-fangled fancypants networks you love so much. You tell them all about the most inane details of your meagre existence on this planet, God's green earth that is slowly suffocating in front of your very eyes. But you don't care, not really. Live in the moment. That's what you say, you think.

Keep plying your audience with the twaddle they seem to love so much. Look: I'm drinking a can of Coca-Cola. It's the full fat stuff: the taste is better, the packaging is a design classic. See: I'm smoking a Gauloise Blonde. Not a Gauloise Blonde Legere as they're not as strong, and I'm trying to portray an image of myself in a certain way. (Also, you can't have Legeres any more - European law, or something.) Watch: I'm eating a packet of Hula Hoops. I'm putting them on the end of my fingers then biting them off enticingly, one by one.

You're sending out messages. You're not all that sure why, but it's a way of connecting with them out there. Sometimes you even tap out stuff that only certain people will understand. It seems a bit pointless, but you want them to know you're thinking of them perhaps, even if you're only doing this by the power of describing your clothes, the contents of your bag, the book you've taken it upon yourself to try and read. What about Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451? You like a bit of dystopia. Breakfast Of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut, maybe? It has a good title.

People relate to that kind of stuff. Stuff. Like the coke, the cigarettes, the crisps. People understand, and those understanding people are the ones who are also living in the moment, like you. Who cares about the past? It's done and dusted, you can't change it, move on. Who cares about the future? You can plan and plan and plan, but it doesn't mean that everything is going to go according to that plan. There'll always be something: a spanner in the works, a fly in the ointment.

Take things as they present themselves. This could be an opportunity. It could be an adventure. It could be a disappointment, it could be a disaster. You can still be prepared - it helps to carry an umbrella in a rainy city, for example. And where would you be without that knife in your pocket, that condom in your wallet, that safety pin clipped to the hem of your trousers? Life-savers are handy when you have a life that needs saving.

And your life now - this life you're living one moment at a time, not making plans, going with the flow - is this life worth saving? Of course: it's fun, isn't it? Yes, but it's dangerous. Yes, but that's exciting. Yes. And people want to hear about it, remember? They're waiting to hear about it. You can't let them down now; you have a responsibility to Your Readers. They need you; perhaps they need to live through you.

Listen: I'm at the art gallery. I'm looking at art. I don't get the art that I'm looking at. Oh, I shouldn't admit that I don't get the art that I'm looking at. But I don't. It's dumb. Who the fuck funds this stuff, anyway? Why don't they give the money to me: I'm a living art experiment, aren't I? Living in the moment and all that. I could use the cash to keep up my body of work, extend my oeuvre, explore new forms of expressing these experiences everyone wants a piece of.

There's your application, right there. Copy and paste it into the online form, quick, before you forget, before something comes along to distract you: a phone call, an important email that Needs Answering Right Now, a meteor smashing into the polar icecaps and setting us all in a tailspin towards the sun, a gigantic spaceship hovering about Manchester Town Hall, demanding an audience with Richard Leese.

But that's not going to happen, is it? You, I and they all know that the aliens only ever put a humungous shadow over New York, Los Angeles, Washington, Johannesburg, Paris and London, at a push. Plus humungous isn't even a word. Probably gigantic isn't either; you can't remember and the dictionary has everything in it these days, colloquial, made up, everything.

You should know, you spend enough time flicking through the good book at work where you edit report after boring report and pretend to be looking up things like "data" (plural? Singular? Does anyone give a toss?) but actually what you're really doing is trying to find as many rude words as possible and testing your own encyclopaedic knowledge of swears against Roget. You usually win; the man has no sense of imagination. You couldn't if you came up with such a complicated cross-referencing system.

So, yeah, live in the moment. Get that funding bid off. Then get on with your next project idea: the one where you catalogue all your favourite naughty phrases using library coding parameters stored on microfiche and displayed on a light box in a darkened room that adds to the suggestive atmosphere. Or you could do a series of Venn diagrams: male bits intersecting with female bits, so to speak; the subset of shared bits including nipples, arses, hard, panting. And then there's the bedtime stories stroke of genius: two writers sat in a bed telling tales of titillation, like the Yoko and John of the literary world. The arts lot'd love that; they'd put on their special voices and extol the talents of the great minds who came up with such a brainwave.

But you're living in the moment, remember? These projects are plans. You don't have a plan. God, it's stressful, not having a plan. Why hadn't you noticed this before? You were trying so desperately to fly by the seat of your pants and cram in as many events and experiences and emotions and other things beginning with e that you've started to lose your way.

So let's make a plan, you and I. Maybe I'll make the plan and I won't let you in on it. Would that work? But then I'd be in control and wouldn't that be like playing God? That's twice now he's cropped up. But I don't believe in God, only extraterrestrials, because there's got to be something out there, right? Just not an old bloke with a beard sat on a cloud surrounded by cherubs playing lutes or lyres or whatever the damn things are.

If I make a plan, The Plan, would that be even more stressful? We're right back at the plans not going according to plan. That was the whole point of this discussion. Perhaps we shouldn't have these philosophical existential theological mental chats in our frame of mind. It's tricky, that's for sure. A proper dilemma. I can't make The Plan - surely that's for the Fates to decide. Leave it up to destiny, eh? But then you have to believe in the Fates and destiny to begin with, I suppose, and I don't believe in anything. Except extraterrestrials, of course. Remember?

But say we did have a plan. Just say. For argument's sake. Work with me here. What would The Plan involve? I can't see into the future, but I want one; the life worth saving, all that. You too, right? The life worth saving, I mean. Trouble is, my idea of the future would probably not be the same as your idea of the future, if you'd for just one minute think about the future and stop selfishly pretending you don't need a plan. Living in the moment, indeed. What kind of student anarchy thinking is that?

So we're getting nowhere with this. I want a plan, you don't want a plan. I don't want a plan, you want a plan. What, you've changed your mind now, have you? That complicates matters. Maybe that's the spanner in the works, the fly in the ointment: you've been pretending you don't want a plan, but actually secretly, all along, you've been squirrelling away thoughts of things that might happen in the future. I bet you've got tons of these thoughts hidden in the recesses of your great mind.

It's probably like one of those books you used to order off the back of cereal packets in the 80s, the ones where you get to the end of a chapter and are faced with a number of options, each one leading to a new set of circumstances. Like a tax return, only with princesses and monsters and pirates and monkeys. There were probably monkeys. So you got to the end of a chapter and had to decide your own fate.

a) Rescue the princess from the monsters and pirates and gallop off on a white monkey into the sunset where you'll get married and live happily ever after. Go to Chapter 2.
b) Don't rescue the princess from the monsters and pirates and save yourself from a loveless marriage and a lifetime of nagging. No one finds out what happens to the monkeys. Go to Chapter 3.
c) Rescue the monsters and pirates; leave the princess to set up a monkey sanctuary and die an old maid but she's content because at least she's put something back into society and you're content because you've got a whole gang of monsters and pirates to hang out with; ain't nobody gonna mess with you now, dawg. Go to Chapter 4.

So we need to think of the options in your head. I guess they're: carry on as is; don't carry on as is; carry on but this time with a plan. Oh, we're back here; I think this is a sticking point. If only we had some monkeys. They'd distract us if nothing else. We'd get caught up in training them to do party tricks; fetch and carry; make cups of tea. We'd be the talk of the town with our troupe of dancing simians throwing down rose petals for us to walk over. Now, that's a plan. (Note to self: look into monkey adoption.)

But let's not lose sight of the important details. The important details are The Readers. We'd kind of forgotten about them, but we'd be nothing if it weren't for The Readers. We need to keep them in new material, you know what they're like. So demanding. If we don't keep feeding them the snippets of information on the minutiae of our life, they'll get all sluggish and slow and eventually stop, like a Furby or a Tamagotchi. Discarded in the corner of the room, staring at the point where the two white walls meet, staring with dead eyes and no purpose in life.

We're the life-savers, after all. We thought it was our lives we were supposed to be saving, but really it's theirs. So let's get on with it; give them what they want, what they need. Words, sentences, paragraphs, chapters, books, libraries. That's why we're here. What else did you think?

Festival season

2011-07-15T17:12:00.007+01:00

Right, there's a lot of festival stuff going on at the mo, so here's a quick rundown of literary odds and sods you might be interested in.

First up, as part of Not Part Of, the Manchester International Festival fringe, might I suggest you swing by the Mad Hatter's Tea Party being run by the lovely ladies at For Books' Sake. It's tonight at 8pm at Nexus Art Cafe in the NQ. Emma Jane Unsworth, Claire Massey and other fab gals will be reading and there's other stuff going on to. I think it's a fiver in.

On Sunday, for Oxfam Bookfest, you can catch me reading a story about a well-to-do lady who turns to a life of crime and sauce. Also reading are the rest of the FlashTag bunch (formerly Flash Mob - we like to keep you on your toes), plus Bad Language. The event starts at 7.30pm and is taking place in Apotheka, also in the Northern Quarter. Info here and here.

Our new project, FlashTag, launched this week. Look: that's our picture above. Benjamin made that. Isn't he clever? (I think he's the brains of the operation.) We want submissions of short stories (400 words max by Sunday 7 August) on the subject of smut. You know what we're like. We're going to put the successful ones in an anthology alongside stories by our good selves, and some of our writer mates, including Miss Unsworth mentioned above, David Gaffney, Nik Perring... Then on Wednesday 28 September, we'll be holding a Smut Night as part of Didsbury Arts Festival. We'll launch the tome and have readings of some of the stories, along with a special appearance by Mr Gaffney.

Also happening for Didsbury Arts Festival and also involving David, as one of the two judges, is the annual short story competition (there's also a poetry comp). All the details are on the DAF website, but the closing date has changed: it's now Friday 26 August (not Friday 5 August), so you have a bit of extra time.

Next week it's Lassfest - literary events at the Lass O'Gowrie. Tom Fletcher and Nicholas Royle of Station Stories fame will be reading and signing Wednesday and Thursday respectively, both at 6.30pm, both £2 in.

Finally, Manchester Literature Festival will be running 10-23 October this year. If you want to get involved, check out the website. If you fancy blogging for the MLF blog, give me a shout here or via Twitter @wordsnfixtures.

Submit

2011-07-13T11:42:00.002+01:00

OK, I don't have much time, but check out me and my crew's latest project, innit? FlashTag here and here.

And submit. Submit. Submit. Submit. (Sorry, that's the dominatrix in me.)

Audio boo!

2011-07-12T10:51:00.009+01:00

Oh dear. Having been recently ensconced in an Alpine sanitorium* as a direct result of the ongoing mid-life crisis and its side effect of burning the candle at both ends (as your mother would say), I had totally and entirely forgotten about the Lavinia Greenlaw literary installation Audio Obscura which is on at Piccadilly Station throughout Manchester International Festival (11am-7pm, until 17 July). Thankfully, I was reminded by lovely Laura through the power of Twitter and yesterday we hooked up and got hooked up with a giant pair of headphones and an MP3 player for the "listening experience".

It's an interesting concept: you listen to the various stories written by Greenlaw and interwoven over half an hour, each separate twine voiced by a different person and resting against a backdrop of ambient music and station sounds. You're encouraged to wander the concourse while you listen, but I'm a lazy old coot so I sat on a bench and watched people instead. This, I'm happy to say, worked a treat: the voices mix in and out of each other, so I think wandering would have made me lose the thread, but my people-watching also helped me visualise the various characters telling the stories. The stories themselves are all serious, mostly sad, and sometimes depressing, but don't let that put you off: they are pretty good.

Audio Obscura - trailer from Artangel on Vimeo.

Each voice tells a different tale, and they come and go so you're sucked out of one story into another then dropped back in to the first, and so on. It's quite clever; it's a bit like zoning in on the people around you when you're waiting for a train, zoning out, then zoning in again. As Greenlaw says in the accompanying brochure: "In a station, we are forced into proximity. We tend to assume that we are neither overheard nor overlooked even as we notice those around us. Things catch our attention because they raise a question and fail to answer it. We are left in suspense ... The experience is not of being told something but of becoming conscious of what we do with what we overhear."

It's worth the trip, but don't expect Station Stories. Nothing could beat that for stories in a station.

*This might not be true.

Any sauce with that?

2011-07-11T13:27:00.005+01:00

Me and my Flash Mob boys are currently working on a new project, Smut Night, which will take place on Wednesday 28 September at Didsbury Lawn Tennis Club (la-di-da) as part of Didsbury Arts Festival (more on DAF later this week). Details are currently under wraps, but we're going to be opening submissions for an anthology very soon, so keep checking back here and follow @FMWComp on Twitter for more.

To get me in the mood (so to speak), I've spent the last week reading pulp fiction and flash fiction, and writing a number of saucy short stories. I'm going to read one of my racy new creations this Sunday, when the Flash Mob gang will be reading at an evening of spoken word organised by our good friends from the Bad Language writing collective as part of this year's Oxfam Bookfest. Here's the event's Facebook page. It starts at 7.30pm at Apotheca in the Northern Quarter.

This week, to keep up the racy vibe, I've set myself the challenge of reading a Mills & Boon a day. I've started with Charade Of The Heart by Cathy Williams, from the old Romance imprint. My favourite line so far has been: "Can you really try and convince me that you love another man when I can feel you opening up under my fingers like a flower?" Just brilliant! It's my aim to get to grips (oo-er) with the writing style and see if I can come up with my own first three chapters and a synopsis, and take it from there. I'll keep you posted on the titles I get through in On My Bookshelf Right Now... (see left).

Lit chick

2011-07-05T13:37:00.003+01:00

OK, so you know how I'm constantly apologising for not keeping in touch as much as I'd like because I'm up to my eyes in Very Exciting Writing Projects? Well, I've got a new very exciting writing project I'll be working on over the next few months. I've been asked to do the digital marketing for Manchester Literature Festival, which is a total honour and something I really can't wait to get going with. Squee!

As regular readers will know, MLF runs a blog every year, with reviews and interviews to keep folk up to date with all the goings-on over the frantic fortnight. I'm therefore going to be sniffing out bloggers to contribute words of wisdom, and there's no reason why it can't be you. We're holding a volunteers meeting on Wednesday 13 July at 6pm, in the Becker Room of the City Library on Deansgate. Swing by and say hello and get your name in my little black book. I'm going to wear a posh frock and everything, so you'd be a fool not to come. (However, if you really can't make it down, just get in touch with me or email mcrlitfestblog@gmail.com. Simples.)

Collective thinking

2011-06-28T13:55:00.006+01:00

We in the collective (Flash Mob, not Borg) are pretty darn excited about Not Part Of (and also, obviously, MIF). We're so excited, in fact, that, not only are we co-hosting the Flash Language Literary Quiz (see previous post), we've also gone and signed ourselves up for the craziest writing project, like, ever (OK, well, maybe not quite ever). Running in conjunction with the Re-Covering exhibition - for which 40 local and international artists (from my Chorlton mate's hubby Nick Jordan to the likes of David Shrigley) have redesigned famous book covers - is The Reading.

The Reading is a multiple writers’ residency with the aim of creating a ‘textured text’. Since Friday 17 June, 72 writers have been collaborating on a narrative (story, play, poem, script, diary, commentary, essay, even lyrics) that will reach its conclusion on Sunday 31 July. Each contributor has two-and-a-half to three hours in which to write a text for inclusion in a publication, along with two contextual essays, to be edited by Matthew Frost from Manchester University Press (and Manchester Literature Festival). Writers work on a laptop in the Untitled Gallery where the creative process is projected live. It's also streamed online* and displayed in real-time in various venues, including Cornerhouse, CUBE, Chinese Arts Centre, Castlefield Gallery, Manchester Art Gallery, The Reading Room Collection and MMU Library. The start point for each contributor is the final paragraph of the previous writer’s entry, and the work can be influenced by the gallery environment, the show’s artworks, the flow of visitors and 'your own fevered imagination'.

Some of our friends and acquaintances are taking part: Bad Language regulars Shirley Kernan, Guy Garrud and Nija Dalal, short story writer Claire Massey, poet Adrian Slatcher and For Books' Sake chum Alex Herod, for starters. Then there's horror writer Conrad Williams (Thursday 7 July, 12-3pm) immediately followed by flash fiction fiend David Gaffney (3-6pm), crime novelist Nicholas Royle (Saturday 9 July, 12-3pm) and Salt author Robert Graham (Saturday 23 July, 12-3pm).

Out of the Flash gang, on Thursday 14 July, David Hartley (12-3pm) picks up a paragraph from poet Anna Percy then passes one straight on to me (3-6pm); then on Thursday 21 July it’s Benjamin Judge (12-3pm) and on Friday 22 July Fat Roland (12-3pm), with experimental poet James Davies sandwiched between (Thursday 21 July, 3-6pm).

There are seven** slots currently still available towards the end of July. Get signed up!

*Actually, that's not true. Katie at Untitled said: "Unfortunately we weren't able to produce a live stream for the website due to technical problems, although there is a recording of the first day of the residency at http://www.artdes.mmu.ac.uk/recovering/"
**Actually, four on Thursday 30 June.

Mob rule

2011-06-27T11:21:00.001+01:00

Remember Flash Mob Literary Salon and Writing Competition? Well, you can now listen again, thanks to Chorlton FM. Check out the Flash Mob website for links to the podcasts and the opportunity to hear my dulcet tones, my temporary inability to say the word "apolocalyptic" and my squirming when trying to introduce our headliner who had nipped to the loo. Still, I managed to not swear, which is A Good Thing.

Next up for the gang behind Flash Mob is the Flash Language Literary Quiz, which we're hosting as part of Not Part Of (the fringe festival to Manchester International Festival) along with our mates Bad Language. Check out their blog post on the subject, complete with links to Skiddle and Facebook and the Not Part Of website and events programme. As well as questions of a literary nature, there will be readings and fun. It promises to be ace, so put Thursday 6 July, 7.30pm, Barcelona in the NQ, in your diary.

Big ask

2011-06-24T11:25:00.001+01:00

...here's a link to the interview a did with Emma Jane Unsworth for Bookmunch.

The last answer is an absolute gem!

Everything, and the girl

2011-06-16T10:10:00.005+01:00

Today sees the publication of Emma Jane Unsworth's debut novel, Hungry, The Stars And Everything, through Hidden Gem Press. It's quite timely given last night's lunar eclipse: one of the episodes in the book is about an occultation. I've written a review for Bookmunch, and I'll shortly be interviewing Emma about some of her themes and influences: keep your eye on Bookmunch.

Emma's book launch is tonight at 6.30pm in the fabulous Portico Library (complete with its rather ace "Polite Literature" section). You can also catch her reading as part of this weekend's Book Market, organised by Literature Northwest: the Comma Press website has her in the 4-5pm slot on Saturday. Nice write-up of the event on Manchester Lit List here.

Disaster zone

2011-06-14T14:15:00.003+01:00

Blogging you back from the brink is, er, back from the brink over on Ask Ben & Clare, the problem-solving site run by my good self and my good friend Mr Benjamin Judge.

Contrary to popular belief (this is a total figment of my imagination: there was never any such popular belief), we didn't have fisticuffs or a big tiff or nuffin: we just got caught up in various other amazing projects, including the Flash Mob Writing Competition. We obviously feel terrible about neglecting our duties and failing to reply to our adoring and heartbroken public with useful and entertaining solutions to their modern-day dilemmas. Thankfully, that dirty little episode is now well and truly behind us, so make sure you wing your contemporary conundrums our way in order that we may have a laugh at your expense, er, sorry, lavish you with our attention.

And get to following our all-new Twitter account, innit.

Trouble at mill

2011-06-13T09:32:00.001+01:00

This evening, I'm off to the theatre. I'm seeing A View From The Bridge at the Royal Exchange, but don't be expecting a write-up. There are two reasons for this: 1) I don't have to do one as it's not press night; 2) I don't want to overshadow this here review of the Library Theatre's latest outing, Hard Times...

The Chris Honer production has been garnering a lot of interest, largely because the action takes place not in a theatre, but in Murrays' Mills in Ancoats (how achingly trendy), and is a promenade piece with an opening salvo in a separate area to set the scene. What's more, Hard Times isn't even a play, rather a novel by Charles Dickens. Goodness! As a lover of modern literature, I'll admit I don't care all that much for Dickens, and tend to agree with my Ask Ben & Clare colleague Benjamin Judge's take on the bloke on We Hate Words. However, this adaptation made Dickens accessible and, although I don't know the original, I thought the transition to "stage" worked really well.

It's an involving story of class and love and unionism and death, set in the fictional northern milltown Coketown (not actually Manchester, as is insinuated in the programme, but apparently Preston, so a proud Prestonian informed me), with plenty of colourful characters (including, pictured, the blustering Josiah Bounderby, played by Richard Heap, and poncey Londoner James Harthouse, played by Richard Hand) and a smattering of humour. There's even some impressive acrobatics during the scenes involving Mr Sleary's Horseback Circus, courtesy Arthur Wilson, Owen Gaynor and Lucy Frost. Ringmaster Sleary is suitably slurry, and actor David Crellin segues well between him and downtrodden clog-wearing weaver Stephen Blackpool, who gets some great lines: "It's a muddle I can't see clear of", being one.

If I'm totally honest, this is the first Library production I've come away from gushing with praise and recommendation. Everything seemed to come together, from the lighting challenges and sound effects to the various detailed sets scattered the length of the first floor (Bounderby's dining room, Thomas Gradgrind's study, the Gradgrind family's parlour, Harthouse's hotel bedroom, Blackpool's worker's cottage, the casino, bank and garden, and the circus big top) and authentic-feeling costumes. There are lots of bonnets and hoop skirts and shawls, and one of the key moments - Bounderby's marriage to Louisa Gradgrind (made nicely mardy by Alice O'Connell) - feels hugely atmospheric thanks to a billowing wedding gown as the not-so-happy couple sweep off to the far end of the long mill room.

If I were to gripe (and every balanced review should serve up a bit of negative with the positive, or vice versa, right?), it would be to say that following the action so literally was quite tiring for a lady of my advancing years, and the shuffling crowd does unfortunately drown out some of the dialogue. However, being so close to the proceedings and players does immerse the audience in the plot and makes for a truly intimate experience.

Hard Times is on until 2 July. A limited number of tickets are available between 5.30pm and 6.30pm for that evening's performance from the temporary box office in The Midland Hotel (cash only). See the Library website for full details.

Photo by Gerry Murray.

Tripping the lit fantastic

2011-06-12T18:22:00.006+01:00

Some of the Flash Mobbers took a road trip yesterday, to Lancaster. Little Dave and Mister Ben have stories in the latest Flax anthology, appropriately enough called Flash Mob (Flax026), and the launch took place at The Storey Institute where Litfest is based. What a great building, and how nice to finally meet Sarah Hymas, editor of Flax. She introduced proceedings then ten of the eleven writers read their 400-word inclusions (which you can see, and hear, online). Next was a break, when we were encouraged to check out Flax028 - a new haiku commission from Maya Chowdhry with a stop-motion film of seeds growing running in an inside-out garden shed. Actually we just chatted to folk and scoffed chocolates. The ten then read pieces of their other work: some, like Norman Hadley's sci-fi Panspermia, were companion pieces to the entries; others weren't even prose at all. Carys Bray's tale had a nice wet theme running throughout, even down to a mention of Noah's Ark, and I really liked Clare Kirwan's bit of smut, Parallel Conservatory.

Dave (lefthand foot) delivered more of his one-sentence stories: Unicorn Logistics, Strategic Magpies, Finger Thief, Perpetual Hen Night Endless Stages, Tyson/dog, Soul For The Devil and The Mould On The Chip... Ben (righthand foot), meanwhile, read a story with no name about a man with a cactus for a hand and a difficult relationship with his father. Dead funny.

Claire Massey, who had butterflies in her first story and moths in her second, Growing Cities, then read the contemporary fairy story A Book Tale (Flax027). This was commissioned for last October's festival along with the amazing Word Dress, custom-made from the pages of books by wedding frock designer Jennifer Pritchard Couchman. Claire refers to "the book dress" and its "crumpling sound" in the story, which nicely reflected Growing Cities with its miniature town of red-bricked houses, derelict mills and boarded-up pubs, as well as another of her pieces Feather Girls (which appears in Salt's The Best British Short Stories 2011) through the "dress of smoke and feathers".

Prose to the occasion

2011-06-02T10:39:00.005+01:00

Managed to catch some more bookish goings-on at Chorlton Arts Festival on Monday. The evening was a double act between two Salt authors: Robert Graham, whose latest novel A Man Walks Into A Kitchen has just hit the shelves, and Heather Leach, whose story So Much Time In A Life made the grade for the Nicholas Royle-edited The Best British Short Stories 2011 collection. You can read my review of that tome on Bookmunch here. What's more, I've written a full-blown review of Monday's literary soiree for the fabulous CAF blog; feel free to peruse that at your leisure here.

Just stepped out of the salon

2011-05-30T16:44:00.003+01:00

You'll be pleased to know that the Flash Mob Literary Salon was a roaring success. Well, I enjoyed myself, at least, and other people seemed to, including your Toms Fletcher and Jenks, your Chris Killen, your Joe Stretch. Either that, or they were being polite. Oh well. I had fun. I drank copious pints of Hell and I liked wearing my new frock (that is, until Ben suggested it might be see-through, which was a little offputting given that I had to go up on stage another two times. Personally, I don't think it was. And if it was, at least the audience got some cheap thrills). Anyway, other people have written about the event, so I suggest you read what they've said so I can go off and eat some cake.

The evening's been written about by Bad Language's Dan Carpenter on the Chorlton Arts Festival blog (a fantastic innovation by my Chorlton Arts Festival colleague Sarah) here and Nici West here. Our special guest star Nik Perring has written about it here as has my fellow Flash Mobber Dave here. You can now read all twelve of the shortlisted stories in an anthology which we have published online. Whizz on over to the Flash Mob website, and it's all there in glorious technicolor.

Look, I even have pictures. Look, there's a picture of the wonderful Helen from Didsbury Life taking a picture of me. And look, there's Helen's picture of me.

Being gluttons for punishment, the Flash Mob gang, who will henceforth be known as Flashtag (don't ask: this must be the fifth name we've had), are now working on some more events and projects. First up is the Flash Language Literary Pub Quiz we're running in conjunction with Bad Language for the Not Part Of fringe to the Manchester International Festival. That is on Wednesday 6 July at 7.30pm at Barcelona in the Northern Quarter. We're also hoping to be collaborating with Bad Language again for the Oxfam Bookfest later in July.

At the moment we're also putting together an application for September's Didsbury Arts Festival. Our current intention is to possibly run a smut night (my idea). Going on our track history, however, that could all change. Fingers crossed it doesn't.

Inklings

2011-05-27T10:10:00.000+01:00

When I was in the bar after Station Stories last Friday night, I was invited to join a writing group by two of the storytellers. (I think that one of the points to take away here is that we were in the bar. Still, the invitation hasn't been nixed, so perhaps their judgement wasn't totally clouded by grog.)

Anyway, there are now five of us in the group. I'm not sure who gets to be Timmy the dog. We even have a name: Inklings. Cute, huh? The idea is that once a month two members of the posse circulate some work up to about 5,000 words (though crucially for me, thank the stars, it doesn't have to be more than 500 - I can't imagine 5,000! What does that even /look/ like?), then a week or so later we get together and ransack it. We discuss what is working, what isn't, what needs more detail, what needs less; what will make it is as good as possible.

It's a swell idea, except I've been shitting bricks about the whole thing all week. Everyone seems to be writing a novel. I'm not writing a novel. At least I wasn't. I mean, I might one day. But it will be a Mills & Boon. Um, I am largely incapable of writing anything more than 400 words. I can't even rumble out a standard short story most of the time. Anyway, noone seems to give a monkeys, so I calmed down a bit; stopped mainlining gin and put the knives away.

And then I saw my horoscope: "Working with a diverse group won't be easy, but it will be illuminating. You can learn valuable skills from a young renegade character. In return, you will give your group comfort and stability."

Great: I'm comfortable and stable, like a pair of M&S slippers.

Flashers

2011-05-26T09:05:00.000+01:00

The day has arrived. The day of reckoning, the day of truth. The big day for the Flash Mob conspirators: the pop-up Flash Mob Literary Salon. (Read more in a previous post HERE and indeed HERE.) It all kicks off at 7.30pm upstairs in Dulcimer as part of the wonderful Chorlton Arts Festival, so I hope to see you there. I have a new dress channelling Anna Karina in Pierrot Le Fou and I have promised to dance, so it would be rude of you not to put in an appearance.

The absolutely ace Nik Perring - short-short story writer extraordinaire and our star turn for the soiree - has been chatting to me about the event on the Chorlton Arts Festival blog: click HERE to read. And he let me loose on his own blog: how cool is that? See my guest appearance HERE.

Ambitious ideas

2011-05-25T14:02:00.005+01:00

Yesterday, I popped by the International Anthony Burgess Foundation, aka my current second home (just after my real home and slightly before The Castle), for an evening of poetry and prose hosted by Ambit Magazine. This literary quarterly has been going since 1959 and lists among its contributors a certain Mr William Seward Burroughs, which I'd say is a good thing.

Jim Burns introduced proceedings, and first up was Edmund Prestwich with various poems inspired by Africa, in particular South Africa where he was brought up. You can read some of them on his website, including Egrets and Moshoeshoe And The Cannibals.

Next at the lecturn was Nicholas Royle, who explained he's been submitting to Ambit since he started writing in the 80s. He'd half-written, especially for the reading, a short story called The Head; he swore to me and Adrian that he'll finish it at some point, so we'll have to hold him to that. He then read The Lancashire Fusilier, his Station Stories contribution. That's my third listen, and it's still incredibly moving.

After a break, Jim was back, with some of his very funny poems. Dirty Old Blues was great, and I was pleased to be transported to Shakespeare & Co in Paris through La Vie de Boheme.

David Gaffney followed, telling us that Ambit was the first place his short Sawn-off Tales stuff was published. He'd already let slip to me that he wasn't going to read any proper stories, instead giving us 2,000 words or so made up of as yet unused material from his ideas folder. "Call it Ideas That Never Happened, if you like", he said. I had been characteristically sceptical; the result, in fact, was hilarious.

The final slot was Joan Poulson, another poet. I enjoyed No Teetering, about shoes and her imaginary dog named after Frida Kahlo, and containing the lovely line "out to the licorice-dark garden".

Roll up, roll up

2011-05-20T14:05:00.012+01:00

Look, I've written a review of Station Stories for Manchester Literature Festival. Having gone on and on and on about it for, like, ever, I thought it was only polite to go along and check it out. Tonight I go along again. It's just as well, because yesterday I was so awestruck by the project not to mention downright nosy and watching folk from various vantage points that a couple of times I somehow forgot to listen. Here, however, are some of the particular lines in the stories when I did pay attention and was duly rewarded...

David Gaffney: "dabbing cream onto her face, like pressing fingers into wet moss".

Jenn Ashworth: "you look like one of them".

Tom Fletcher: "Neuromancer ... 'each rang in turn, but only once, as he passed'".

Peter Wild: "hair like Barbara Stanwyck".

Tom Jenks: "Styrofoam".

Nicholas Royle: "your mam makes me soup now like my mam did".

Nicholas Royle made Guy Garvey cry. Guy Garvey crying. Imagine.

Thanks to Conrad Williams for sharing his ace images. Go and see him at Waterstone's tomorrow from 2pm.

A moment of fiction #14 - Chorlton Arts Festival special

2011-05-19T09:54:00.002+01:00

It's literature events a-go-go at this year's biggest bestest Chorlton Arts Festival, which starts today.

Top of the bill, because I helped organise it, is the Flash Mob Literary Salon, which is the culmination of our amazingly acetastic flash fiction writing competition. It's on Thursday 26 May at 7.30pm in the newly done-up Dulcimer. There will be readings by the 12 shortlisted writers and the five judges (that's a lovely pic of us by the inimitable Gill Moore Photography, dontcha think?), a guest slot from microfictionmeister Nik Perring, fabulous fun and surreal shenanigans, and a glittering gong-giving ceremony. There will be a stage and projections and lights and, if I get pissed enough, dancing girls (I'm kidding). It's going to be broadcast live on Chorlton FM (on air 87.7 FM across South Manchester and online), so even if you can't come down in person, you have no excuse not to still take part.

Next might I flag up my new girlfriends For Books' Sake, who are presenting a free "evening of live music and spoken word" called Books & Blues. There will be "storytelling, spoken word and musical treats", and Jane and Alex, who run the show, are great, so you should totally check them out on Friday 20 May, 7.30pm, at Chorlton Irish Club (please note venue change). Promised is a book swap and "surprises", and, as if that weren't enough, they're only going and having a bloody raffle.

In competition tomorrow are local scribe copland smith and his Manky Poets in Chorlton Library (£2), but you can catch them again on Sunday 22 May at 8pm in The Beech (free) and with their merry band of musician friends on Wednesday 25 May at 8pm in The Spread Eagle (free). If the music and poetry mix floats your boat, there's also a Means To An End on Monday 23 May at 7.30pm in The Lloyds, and Word Musicians same time same place on Thursday 26 May. At The Lloyds on Tuesday 24 May, 7.30pm, is Joe Blue with a collection of monologues and stories.

Both weekends in the Festival calendar host creative writing workshops; both poetry, both wimmin. First (Saturday 21 May) sees Bad Language regular Anna Percy and her Stirred Poetry sidekick Rebecca Audra Smith host a workshop (2-5pm) and open mic evening (7.30pm) at St Ninian's (£3 for both events; £2 for one). Second (Sunday 29 May) sees Paper Planes and Manky Poets regular Sarah L Dixon from 10am in the Library Meeting Room (she usually runs workshops on the first Sunday on the month 1-3pm, £2; for reference, the next is Sunday 5 June; call 07743 685221 or 0161 881 3179 to book).

Last but not least, is a reading by two Salt writers, on Monday 30 May, 7.30pm, in the Library (free). Local novelist Robert Graham will read from his new Salt Modern Voices chapbook, A Man Walks Into A Kitchen, while short story writer Heather Leach will read So Much Time In A Life, from The Best British Short Stories 2011 anthology edited by Nick Royle.

It's good to stalk

2011-05-17T10:40:00.007+01:00

As I was saying on the Twitter only yesterday, it appears I am fast becoming the official Station Stories groupie. I am now going along to the event not once, but twice, and I'm thinking it may be prudent to don a disguise lest the writers start to get twitchy about being stalked. Still, it's all in the name of art: the extra date is so I can write a review for Manchester Literature Festival. In the meantime, you can read another preview written by my fair hand over on the fabulous For Books' Sake site. Here's a link. Don't say I don't treat you well. I'm even going to give you a picture because you've been so good. This one is inspired by David Gaffney's Station Story Hidden Obvious Typical, which I helped edit. Well, when I say "helped", I probably really just hindered. I don't know, but I certainly enjoyed doing it - much as I really relish sinking my teeth into a strategic business plan or an end of year financial report (ahem), it's bloody lovely working on something creative once in a while.

Normal service resumed

2011-05-15T16:40:00.004+01:00

Right then, you may have noticed me going on about upcoming literature project Station Stories, yeah? OK, well, it's going to be ace and I know five of the six writers involved *to talk to and shit* so I wrote a preview of the event. But I didn't write it here; I wrote it elsewhere. I do that sometimes. I wrote it on the Manchester Literature Festival blog because the lovely people there asked me to do it. The very next day, the piece disappeared, which was a teeny bit worrying, but apparently Blogger fell over. Anyway, it's back up now, so go and bloody read it: click here and the interweb will kindly lead you over there without further ado. Then return at some point later this week as I'll be doing a proper review.

Curious and curiouser

2011-05-11T10:07:00.004+01:00

As promised, as planned, yesterday I swung by the International Anthony Burgess Foundation, where I practically live these days. Tony Treahy introduced experimental poet James Davies and flash fiction author David Gaffney and what turned out to be something of a surreal evening, complete with PowerPoint presentations, PhotoShopped images and computer-generated voices.

I've never encountered James before, and his work is definitely out there. Some I found confusing (for example 16 Glass Bead Games; I know nothing of Hermann Hesse, who inspired it); some I found amusing. He opened with a number of "notes" on pieces he's begun and never finished, many not even getting further than a basic idea on a page. There are 44 of these Unmades in his collection Plants, each one with a slightly differing construction:

Bootie
Conceived 7th May
Written 7th May
Considered 7th May
Rejected 9th May

He then read from his Occasional Poems, but it was the last segment, delivered via two on-screen characters (a man and a woman, called Audrey), that caught my attention and had me and Fat Roland giggling with its great language and mix of made-up words, use of trademarks and celebrity names, and random juxtapositions. We particularly enjoyed the concept of "flea spunk".

Next up, David gave us The King Of PowerPoint, which is the very funny story of Bob's leaving do and the head of IT's deliberations over the accompanying presentation. He then read a couple of stories from the 23 Stops To Hull project (published in his latest collection The Half-life Of Songs), with a tale told about every junction on the M62. These are twinned with a slideshow; I've seen this twice now and the cutesy unicorns floating about Eggborough still made me nearly cry with laughter. Last up was George and his health and safety shed. I don't remember what it's called. My refusal to take notes sometimes disappoints even the hardiest amongst us. I can only apologise.

Book it, book it real good

2011-05-09T16:07:00.001+01:00

This is happening tomorrow. I am going. You should go too. It is free. All the other details are on the flyer. David Gaffney is a flash fiction writer and also a novelist, and he will be reading some short stories from his latest collection The Half-life Of Songs (up for this year's Edge Hill Short Story Prize) and maybe presenting some of his Destroy Powerpoint slides. I can't recommend this enough. James Davies is the organiser of experimental poetry night The Other Room and editor of If P Then Q. He will be performing some poems from his new anthology, Plants. The event will be compered by "the incredible" (apparently) Tony Trehy, text-poet and founder of Text Festival, currently on the go in Bury.

After that, I'm hotfooting it to the Kings Arms in Salford, where my friend and Flash Mob colleague Mr Dave Hartley is co-hosting a Flash Mob quiz with his brother Mr Rick Hartley. Some of the questions will be about books. Benjamin Judge has written a round. I expect that will be about cheese. Or books. It's a quid per person and there are prizes. See Dave's blog for more.

Pan fried

2011-05-07T15:08:00.003+01:00

On Thursday, it rained for the first time in many days, perhaps even weeks. Still, a bit of dampness didn't put off a trip to the International Anthony Burgess Foundation, where Pandril Press were launching their first anthology, Panopticon.

This, we were told, is the product of a year of writing and editing by a group of seven writers who got together through the masters in creative writing at Manchester Metropolitan University, class of 2007. The seven were never introduced, which is a little odd (also odd was that we were specifically instructed not to clap after each reading), but I have deduced from their Facebook page that they are (left to right): Dave Chadwick, Ros Davis, Alison Jeapes, Paul Beatty, Lucia Cox, Iris Feindt and Nicky Harlow (not pictured).

The readings were split into two themes: "lost in translation" and "weird love". Iris kicked off the first half with a really good story about instruction manuals. She was followed by Ros with Isabella, about a soldier groom ("she hadn't expected the word [mulligatawny] to sound like a mouthful of pebbles"); Paul with The Seer (which Fat Roland enjoyed), and finally Dave with a tale taking the mickey out of marketing speak ("diversity tsar" etc). The second half saw Nicky's funny Peverse Fruit, Alison with a story of travelling to Macau, and Lucia Cox with Tarmac Nights, my favourite. Lil Dave wasn't so keen as at least one rabbit was harmed in the telling of it.

A moment of fiction #13

2011-05-02T12:56:00.010+01:00

Well, now we've got that wretched wedding out of the way, let's get back to stories. May is apparently Short Story Month 2011, and there are a few events coming up which have caught my eye; I thought I'd quickly sum them up as A Moment Of Fiction (no submissions stuff, for the moment, I'm afraid; my brain is awash with Flash Mob).

This Thursday (5 May) sees new Manchester-based publisher Pandril Press launch Panopticon, a collection of short fiction by seven emerging writers. The free event takes place at the International Anthony Burgess Foundation on Cambridge Street from 6.30pm. Nicholas Royle will be manning a stall selling Nightjar chapbooks; might I recommend The Field by Tom Fletcher? Comma Press will also be there.

The following Tuesday (10 May, 6.30pm, free - sorry, this originally said Monday, but that's incorrect), the IABF plays host to a joint book launch from The Other Room/If P Then Q poet James Davies (whose collection Plants is published this month) and flash fiction author, novelist and Station Stories creator David Gaffney, whose Edgehill Prize-shortlisted collection The Half-life Of Songs recently came out on Salt. You can read more about David in my flash fiction feature for Creative Times - oh look, here's a link; there's more on the Station Stories project, which takes place later this month, below.

Friday 13 May sees Station Stories contributors Jenn Ashworth and the aforementioned Tom Fletcher combine forces at An Outlet on Dale Street in the Northern Quarter to celebrate the launch of their second novels: Cold Light in the case of Jenn and The Thing on the Shore in the case of Tom. They'll both be reading from 8pm, as will some of their friends from the Northern Lines Fiction Workshop. Jenn promises: "There'll be wine and possibly Twiglets."

Station Stories itself takes place on Thursday 19, Friday 20 and Saturday 21 May, with three performances a day to choose from (midday, 3pm and 7pm). It promises to be a really varied and interesting event, with six writers surreptitiously and not so surreptitiously reading specially commissioned tales of trains and tracks and other things beginning with "tr" around Piccadilly Station. The writers are: David Gaffney, Nicholas Royle, Tom Fletcher, Jenn Ashworth, Peter Wild (of Bookmunch; see more below) and Tom Jenks (also of The Other Room and If P Then Q).

On Tuesday 24 May, from 6.30pm, literary quarterly Ambit Magazine will be holding an evening of poetry and fiction (free), again at the IABF. After an introduction by Ambit editor Martin Bax, there will be poems from Joan Poulson and Edmund Prestwich, and David Gaffney and Nicholas Royle crop up again to read some short stories.

Thursday 26 May sees the Flash Mob Literary Salon, starting at 7.30pm at Dulcimer in Chorlton. There will be readings by the winners and runners-up, something special courtesy the judges (including my good self), and a special appearance from flash fiction author Nik Perring. Part of Chorlton Arts Festival 2011, it's free and will be fabulous; see the Flash Mob website for more.

Stacks of other literature events are taking place as part of this year's Chorlton Arts Festival. Keep checking the website to see what's on; details of the full programme should be released this week. Sneak preview from proofreading the brochure: I'm looking forward to hearing Salt writers Robert Graham and Heather Leach on Monday 30 May, 7.30pm, Chorlton Library (free). Robert will be reading extracts from his new Salt Modern Voices chapbook, A Man Walks Into A Kitchen; Heather will read So Much Time In A Life, included in Salt's new anthology, The Best British Short Stories 2011, edited by Nick Royle. You can read my review of the collection on Bookmunch here.

Mind your Language

2011-04-28T11:28:00.004+01:00

Right then, let's get back to more literary pursuits. Last night saw another splendid spoken word event hosted by the Bad Language writing collective at The Castle. Once again, I was scarily scheduled in the first open mic slot, after BL's very own Nici West did the intros and a couple of poems. I read, not The Luck Department, as previously threatened, but my new, slightly saucy, story about electromagnetics (such a geek!), I See Electric. I like this story and it seemed to attract some admiring comments, so let's hope someone somewhere picks it up and publishes it. Ever the optimist, I won't be holding my breath.

After me was my Ask Ben & Clare and Flash Mob colleague Benjamin Judge, himself with a sexy story plus a poem, about Bradford. Not sexy. Ben was followed by Calum Kerr, plugging his new book 31, which contains 31 stories, one written per day in January, and Word Gumbo, the new e-zine from Gumbo Press, which aims "to promote the very best in stories, poetry, flash fiction, scripts and non-fiction" and of which Jo Bell (who cameoed alongside Calum) is poetry editor. Submissions for the first issue close on Saturday; they should be on the theme, aptly, of "beginnings".

Next up was Fat Roland, who read a very serious story in five parts, employing his usual performing flair - this time screwing up each of the five pieces of paper to "represent" each of the five sections. This guy kills me. He also reminded everyone that tomorrow (Friday 29 April) is the closing date for the Flash Mob Writing Competition and introduced everyone to the Literary Salon we'll be running on Thursday 26 May as part of Chorlton Arts Festival.

Nija Dalal was next, with a very personal story about 24-hour diners and Walmarts and her mom back in the States. She has a nice delivery; it's like listening to someone chatting when she reads. And she was there with Stuart Maconie: him off the radio. Stuart Maconie heard us read! Yowzers. The first section was then rounded off with Bad Language's Dan Carpenter, reading some of the poetry he's been writing for NaPoWriMo, which has been running throughout April.

The middle third saw poet Rod Tame take up the mic with a proper rehearsed set of jokes and poems about being gay, coming out, being gay, and not being gay enough. After another break, there was more poetry. Obviously by this point, a certain amount of the Grolsch had been quaffed, so my notes are somewhat limited and I didn't catch some people's surnames and, even when I did, can't find some of them in the interwebs. Third Bad Language host Joe Daly introduced the final round, and was followed by Steve, Dominic Berry (with some material from his upcoming Wizard show, starring the aforementioned Rod, at the Contact Theatre on Wednesday 25 May; which, incidentally, is when the next Bad Language night is - fight!), Kieran King (whose Whatever Happened To The Heroes I quite enjoyed), Jane Birch (who was persuaded by a certain Jo Bell to read some rude words, to much acclaim!), then a short story interlude with Flash Mobber Dave Hartley and Garment Feud from Roy Keane's Lucky Scarf, then finally another poet, called Ben.

My work is never done

2011-04-27T16:34:00.001+01:00

Mum was complaining that I hadn't posted for, like, two whole days, and now it's been even longer. I think, therefore, I'll cheat and do a little round-up of things what I have wrote elsewhere in the last few weeks. (Sorry about that: I've been attending to the "part-time adventuress" bit of my profile; normal blogging service will be resumed shortly.)

First up, short stories... dystopian tale The Luck Department appeared on Roy Keane's Lucky Scarf on 12 March (and may appear in spoken form at tonight's Bad Language shindig at The Castle), while White Rabbits (a slightly abridged version of the original) found its way onto 330 Words a month later.

Next, features... I was commissioned to write about flash fiction for the magnificent Creative Times, and did so in no more than 500 words. It was fun! (Hint: more people should ask me to write features; especially if they want to pay me.) I've also spent the month of April residing as the featured blogger in issue 33 of Blankpages, which has been lovely.

Then, reviews... A review of Gaynor Arnold's short story collection, Lying Together, out on Tindal Street Press, was published by the fabulous Bookmunch, and I have also this weekend filed copy reviewing Salt's new anthology, The Best British Short Stories 2011, edited by Nicholas Royle. Keep your eyes peeled on Bookmunch for that over the next couple of days.

Finally, marketing material... I've been (and remain) busy working on various projects and for various clients, ranging from copywriting flyers and supplying web copy to editing brochures and proofreading posters. I've also been up to my eyes doing quite a bit of press and PR for Chorlton Arts Festival and the Flash Mob Writing Competition and Literary Salon. I'm just a slave to my art...

Wider reading

2011-04-21T11:24:00.003+01:00

Following on from that last missive, may I suggest some wider reading. I direct you to the blog of the wonderful Nik Perring, who is quoted in my Creative Times piece (now complete with at least one nice comment, which is most pleasing). As well as being very lovely about me and my feature, Nik has posted his full thoughts on flash fiction (he kindly sent me all this, but I was limited to a strict 500 wordcount so couldn't include anywhere near enough of his wiseness). I also asked David Gaffney to furnish me with sage words for my piece, and indeed you can read more about his take on flash fiction in an interview with the very same Nik and also by downloading a PDF of his Tindal Street Press Writing Masterclass, Be Short. This includes some rather fine tips for writing flash fiction; perhaps useful before entering a certain competition you may have heard of? Anyway, more on and from both Nik and David soon, so watch this space...

Book it, book it real good

2011-04-20T10:00:00.005+01:00

Feeling flash

2011-04-19T16:01:00.005+01:00

Now, you may remember a while back me mentioning the Flash Mob Writing Competition, which I'm helping run as part of this year's Chorlton Arts Festival. Well, you have ten days in which to enter, so snap to it. All the details you need to know are on our fabulous website, which now comes complete with some rather gruesome photographic evidence of what each of the five Flash Mob judges looks like. I've obviously been at the juice. Dave looks like one of his rabbits caught in the headlights. Tom, according to Ben, looks like "a sexy magician". Fats looks menacing. Ben looks slightly menacing too, come to think of it.

Any road, to help plug the contest, I've written a feature for none other than the fantabulous Creative Times. The feature is about flash fiction. It includes quotes from flash fiction authors and everything. In recognition of the genre, I was asked to submit less than 500 words and you can read the results here.

Rehearsal of fortune

2011-04-18T14:19:00.005+01:00

Theatre. Blogging. Just two of the things I like.

And, lo, if Library Theatre Company hasn't only gone and combined the two, offering the good bloggerati of Manchester the chance to go behind the scenes of the first of three site-specific productions the company will stage in the summers of 2011, 2012 and 2013.

Paste 200 words about a recent thespian outing into the comments on the post here (where you'll also find all the details), and you could be one of four writers privy to a rehearsal of Charles Dickens' Hard Times at the company's temporary Zion Centre home in Hulme, with a further invitation to a dress rehearsal in June at the newly renovated Murray's Mills in uber-cool Ancoats. In return, you write about your experiences for the Library blog, yeah?

Murray's Mills, Ancoats, Manchester, 30 x 100cm © Glenn Clarke.

...and another Ashworth

2011-04-08T10:58:00.000+01:00

Now, here's another interesting event that's been flagged up to me by my pal Library Sue: Born, Not Made?, a discussion about whether or not creative writing can be taught. It takes place next Tuesday (12 April) at 6pm in City Library's fabulous Becker Room (where we had our recent Flash Mob photo-shoot, and, coincidentally, where the pic in my last blog post was also taken).

The event will see the lovely Sherry Ashworth (novelist, senior lecturer in creative writing at Manchester Metropolitan University and co-founder of Hidden Gem Press) chairing a discussion, about whether writers are born or made, between Jane Rogers (MLF Is There A Novelist In The House? judge, creative writing lecturer at Sheffield Hallam University and author of eight novels including Island, The Voyage Home and Mr Wroe's Virgins) and her "protegee" Rachel Genn (whose debut novel The Cure is out on Constable & Robinson on 26 May). The debate will revolve around the student/teacher relationship, the ups and downs of taking a writing course, the shared enthusiasms and the issue of influence, and there will also be readings.

Please go because I can't!

One Ashworth...

2011-04-06T14:33:00.005+01:00

You know me, always hanging out with the literati, right? So today, I had coffee or lunch, I'm not sure (I had coffee; she had lunch), with Jenn Ashworth, pictured here at the Bugged launch at Manchester Literature Festival 2010. I wanted to find out about some of her current projects, of which you will be privy to more very shortly right here. Happens I'm also just in the middle of Jenn's debut novel, A Kind Of Intimacy. You don't need to say it; I'm a slow reader: Jenn's second offering, Cold Light, is out at the end of this month, and she's well on the way to a first draft of her third.

For a sneak preview of the second, and possibly the third, of Jenn's books, get yourself over to the Martin Harris Centre at the Manchester University, tomorrow (Thursday 7 April) at 6.30pm. As writing fellow for the University's Centre for New Writing, Jenn will be reading some of her work and answering questions from the floor, alongside poet Paul Batchelor. You should go: it'll be worth the trip!

Living the highlight

2011-04-01T11:13:00.005+01:00

I am a highlight. A highlight in this month's wonderful online zine Blank Pages. There's its cover below. It reminds my of an album by The The. I don't suppose many of you remember The The. Before your time probably. They were quite good; a bit weird, maybe, but quite good nonetheless.

Anyway, I am very much honoured to have been furnished with this "highlight" entitlement. Huzzah for me! But why?, you ask. Well, I've written a feature in the latest Blank Pages, out today, all about blogging and just how ace being a blogger in the rainy city can be and just how ace one of my fellow bloggers is. She's called Hayley Flynn; you should check out her stuff. Her Skyliner picture set is just getting going, but it promises to make hers a go-to blog. And her misplaced mail stories are fab; they're the letter equivalent of my list collection, which I'm aiming on doing more with soon. And which grew again this morning with "loaf / crumpets / Actimel / 3 meals / veg? / mixed salad / sweets / or fruit and cream". Lovely.

Stream of consciousness

2011-03-31T16:49:00.004+01:00

Thought I'd share with you this pic from last week's Twestival, when me and three out of four of the Flash Mob boys provided the entertainment with our pop-up literary salon. Fat Roland broke the ice with two unique audience-participation pieces (the first, a tongue-twister; the second, his Beyonce haiku). Benjamin Judge then took to the stage and presented one of his idiosyncratic stories of mammals (the man is obsessed, I'm telling you). Last but not least, I had the pleasure of reading a tale of Tweetdeck and twotnot as its creator Tom masterfully pinged inter-related Tweets by the characters Helen, Scott and various pop and rock stars up onto that there Twitter stream on that there screen, the one in the picture. Raised a few chuckles around the place, too, I noted. The magic of modern technology, eh?

Thanks to Sam Easterby-Smith for providing the photographic evidence.

A moment of fiction #12

2011-03-30T16:28:00.004+01:00

Haven't been very forthcoming with my submissions info, have I? Sorry about that. As you know, I'm slipping. I tell you this at least once a week these days. So here's a quick round-up, which I've only just remembered to divulge, as it's written on the tiniest of Post-It notes and stuck in my diary (yes, I'm old-fashioned like that).

I'm afraid you have just one day left in which to submit to issue #3 of Friction Magazine and Journal. They're after your poetry, short stories, flash fiction and memoir - visit the website for details and submit via editor@frictionmagazine.co.uk.

You also only have until tomorrow to get short stories of up to 3,500 words on the subject of "power" to the new site Paraxis. This looks like an interesting project, and it's co-run by the wonderful Claire Massey, whose stories Chorden-under-Water and Feather Girls I have a tendency to harp on about. Everything you need to know is here; email paraxis.org@gmail.com.

Another looming deadline is for New Writing Dundee - they're accepting one piece of poetry or prose per person before 2 April, for publication in issue 6. Email newwritingdundee@dundee.ac.uk after first looking at the guidelines.

A slightly longer lead time is 29 April, when the fabulous* Flash Mob Writing Competition closes. Check out all the details online. The email is flashmobwritingcompetition@yahoo.co.uk.

And don't forget to submit to 330 Words, Roy Keane's Lucky Scarf, the shiny new-look Rainy City Stories, Blank Pages and It's Getting Worse. These are run by my friends, and they need your input!

*I am biased.

Voluntary sector

2011-03-28T17:39:00.003+01:00

Roll up, roll up: a number of very exciting projects and festivals are in need of your assistance and spare time and I know full well y'all have it in abundance, you dirty reprobates you.

Numero uno is Chorlton Arts Festival "one of the largest multi-arts events in the north of England and a showcase for visual and performing artists, with record attendance figures in 2010 of over 25,000 people" - I got that quote off one of my press releases... I am the festival's press officer, but I need help (and not just in my usual idiotic issues way)! If you want to give me a hand writing and disseminating press releases, talking to journos, and generally promoting the event in the run-up to and during festival week (Thursday 19 May to Monday 30 May), please send me good vibes and smoke signals, uppers and cake! A phone number and email address would be pretty useful too, so I can get in touch with you.

Also starting on 19 May, and running to 21 May, is Station Stories, the literary brainchild of my author pal David Gaffney. Set in Piccadilly Station, the Arts Council-funded craziness will feature a number of local writers - Jenn Ashworth, Tom Fletcher, Nick Royle, Peter "Bookmunch" Wild and poet Tom Jenks - telling tales at noon, 3pm and 7pm on each of the three days. Project manager Diana Hamilton is looking for volunteers to help out 11am to 8.30/9pm on the performance days - runners, guides, techies, meeter-greeters... Email diana@thehamiltonproject.co.uk or call 01625 265055.

Station Stories is in association with the wonderful Manchester Literature Festival, which is also looking for help with this year's shindig, taking place 13 to 23 October. Volunteers are needed so events run smoothly (so, again, meet'n'greet, info, guestlist etc) and the festival is also looking to sign up bloggers to help promote the various activities on its dedicated blog. I've done it for the past two years, and it's a great way to meet folk, see some stuff for nowt, and get your name bandied about. Anyhoooo, if you fancy signing up, there's now an online form. Questions and queries, direct to the lovely Jon Atkin via admin@manchesterliteraturefestival.co.uk.

Last but by no means least is the gigantic Manchester International Festival, the grand unveiling of which I was very kindly invited to recently. Volunteers help the whole glittering shebang go round, so get yourself over to the website and stick your bloody name down. MIF runs 30 June-17 July. Worries and concerns, speak to Caroline via volunteering@mif.co.uk or 0161 238 7319.

Me. Me. Me.

2011-03-22T11:37:00.004Z

So here's a thing. I've written a new bit of flash, right, and I'm going to treat this month's Bad Language crowd to it tomorrow night. You should come and listen; it's set in the Northern Quarter, so it's quite fitting as that's where I'll be reading it. I wrote it after the last Bad Language, so bear in mind that recent mid-life crisis I've been joking about. I'm quite liking it (the story, that is, although the mid-life crisis is going pretty well, too), though I'm still trying to tinker with the ending. Still given that I'm up to my eyes in Very Important Meetings and photo-shoots and wotnot, you'll get what you're given. Bad Language starts at 7.30pm in the Castle. If you want a feel for the soiree, you can read about the February event here.

If you can't make it on Wednesday, then come to Twestival on Thursday. It starts at 6.30pm and is being held in NoHo, also in the NQ. It's a global shindig, which "uses social media to do social good". The Manc version will be donating 100% of ticket sales and auction takings to Wood Street Mission, and everything you need to know about the event and the charity is here. Me and the boys behind the Flash Mob Writing Competition are rocking up and wowing the collected masses with a pop-up literary salon. Fellow Flash Mobber Tom Mason writes about it here. Social Media Manchester has said: "There'll also be readings from Manchester's coolest bloggers' collective including the première of a unique multi-platform Twitter story, written specially for the night". I will be performing said piece, alongside Tom, who created the concept, the clever boy.

Flash of inspiration

2011-03-16T12:01:00.002Z

Lately I've been concerned about shirking my duties and not paying you the attention you so rightly deserve. I've been plying you with excuses that I'm not really ignoring you, but rather chipping away at some beautiful creations that have to remain a secret until I'm ready to reveal them in all their glory. And when that day comes you will be amazed! Wowed! Delighted! Overwhelmed!

That day is finally upon us.

That day is the launch of Flash Mob, a writing competition and literary salon that myself and fellow founders of the so-called #beatoff generation Benjamin Judge, Fat Roland, Tom Mason and David Hartley have been busily giving up our free time to shape and hone for your delight and delectation.

The competition is now open, and all the details of how to enter and who the devil those handsome judges are can be found on our funky little website here. You can follow us on Twitter @FMWComp here.

It all takes place as part of this year's Chorlton Arts Festival, and will be the first-ever flash fiction contest in the ten-year history of the multi-arts showcase. We're looking for the best 500-words-or-less story, which we'll be celebrating (along with our own work, naturally) in a glittering event set for Thursday 26 May. Put it in your diary, won't you. It's going to be fabulous, and fun, and maybe I'll buy a new frock for the occasion because that too begins with "f". It also gives me a plausible excuse if I let the blogging slip again, doesn't it. Doesn't it?

PS: Dave's also written about it on his rabbit-obsessed Do A Barrel Roll.

Talent show

2011-03-15T13:25:00.006Z

OK, folks, the blogging laziness continues. I can only apologise, but I promise that plenty of exciting things are going on behind the scenes and all will be be revealed soon, when you will hopefully forgive me for neglecting you so.

In the meantime, I just wanted to mention that I finally got round to watching New Novelists: 12 Of The Best, A Culture Show Special, which was shown on the tellybox on World Book Night. That being a Saturday, I was of course out painting the town red. Anyway, I saw it last night via the magic of Betamax, and thought it was very interesting. I'm sure you're bothered.

I enjoyed learning about the historical background to the idea of listing the best new writers at a given moment in time, and the controversy that has often entailed. I enjoyed hearing the various views on creative writing courses, and how most of the novels that were finally chosen as the golden dozen had a similar narrative structure, which the panel (led by John Mullan, who writes about the process in The Guardian here) put down to studying "the art" at college. (Whether that's a good or a bad thing, make your own mind up: I ain't here to judge, honey.) I enjoyed being made aware of 11 new books and 11 new writers, and seeing the 12th, local lass Jenn Ashworth, make her screen debut. More from Jenn here, and more on her soon on this very blog.

Abra-cadaver

2011-03-11T15:54:00.004Z

Crivens, it's busy in my life right about now. Me and the #beatoff boys (just call me Nancy Drew, yeah?) are up to our eyes holding crisis talks and frantically emailing about names and logos and dates and photo-shoots and plenty more exciting things, details of which will be revealed next week, if you play your cards right (and we finally come to a decision on stuff). I've also been attending meetings about blogging and talking about blogging and writing about blogging, and you know what? I just haven't had time to do any blogging.

So I'm going to make it easy on myself here. I'm going to temporarily direct you to another blog, for an exquisite corpse is underway and, if you have been listening closely, you'll know that I am rather partial to an exquisite corpse. The game is afoot at The Endist, blog of the delightful Didsbury-based author Tom Fletcher. In exchange for contributing to the consequences, a glittering prize could be yours: a copy of Tom's new chapbook, The Field (a great story), out on the equally lovely Nicholas Royle's Nightjar.

These two, plus other fabulous local writers Jenn Ashworth, David Gaffney, Peter Wild and Tom Jenks, are currently paving the way for Station Stories, taking place 19-21 May in conjunction with Manchester Literature Festival. More on that soon, promise.

Book-a-roo!

2011-03-07T14:00:00.005Z

So World Book Night just took place, and, as a result, I filled my Saturday with literary treats, culminating in bumping into short story writer and novelist Elizabeth Baines making her way to Didsbury Oxfam where I had just been handed a copy of Carol Ann Duffy's poetry collection The World's Wife. I commented later on Twitter that World Book Night did feel rather like preaching to the converted, but I've been assured, by poet Jo Bell among others, that actually books were dished out to non-reader types, so that's marvellous. Spread the love!

Anyway, my literary day kicked off with me heading to my first-ever Poets & Players event, surrounded by some wonderful naturalistic wallpaper at Whitworth Art Gallery. I was tempted over to the two-hour shindig when I heard JT Welsch was reading - I very much enjoyed his poetry when he launched his Salt chapbook alongside my pal Adrian Slatcher back in January. Described as "springing from the margins of masculinity", he didn't disappoint, especially as all bar one of the poems he read was totally new to me. Next up was another American, Aileen La Tourette, whose "magic realism" really caught my fancy. I loved the fast beaty rythms and alliterative, onomatopoeiaic language - words like "licketysplit" in the poem Humming. I particularly enjoyed the harsh feminity of Mail-order Doll - "She'd come to a bad end / I'd see to that" - and Hawaii - "Every year she sends a party dress / Like an answer to a prayer". After a break and a second helping of crackers music from Matthew Halsall's jazz-based Gondwana Orchestra, award-winning Mario Petrucci took to the stage and regaled us with tales of love and Chernobyl.

The next Poets & Players takes place on Saturday 9 April, 2.30pm, and features poetry readings by Tiffany Atkinson, Jeremy Over and Robbie Burton, and music from MariachoO!

Fame and fortune

2011-03-04T12:41:00.012Z

This last fortnight or so has been nothing if not exciting. Many extraordinary and unusual happenings have been explored; many interesting people and places have been experienced. So to speak.

Anyway, one of the truly amazing heady highpoints was opening the new issue of Blankpages, which hit the interwebs on Tuesday (and which you can download here), to find this very blog featured in the Blankpicks section, written this month by 330 Words editor, #beatoff collaborateur and my friend Tom Mason. I had known that Words & Fixtures was going to be mentioned, and that the blogging baton would be passed on to me to give my choice in issue 33. What I didn't know was quite how many lovely adjectives and descriptions Tom was going to employ!

Surely nothing, ever, could beat: "She’s a bit like the local Lauren Laverne of literature". Goodness me. Perhaps my work here is done.

Thirties something

2011-03-02T15:41:00.005Z

Another day, another play; this time Noel Coward's Private Lives at the Royal Exchange. I'm not much of an authority on Coward, but the Exchange's production of Blithe Spirit just over a year ago was so full of frivolity and flapper dresses (for which I have something of a weakness) that I immediately wanted to see this when I heard it was going to be on.

I wasn't disappointed. As ever at this theatre, the sets were fantastic, with an almost authentic ornamental garden laid out for the first act and a plush 1930s Parisian apartment, complete with grand piano (that is played live - oh, the talent!), for the second. The costumes and accessories too were beautiful, from the men's suits and smoking jackets to the ladies' travelling clothes and floaty evening gowns.

It's an excellent text, full of witty repartee and clever wordplay ("Don't quibble, Sibyl", etc). Even the bits in French are funny, and, while you might need to parler un petit peu to fully understand, the actress playing the maid (Rose Johnson) gets the point across with some comedy gestures and fabulous hamminess.

The remaining characters are Elyot and Sibyl Chase and Victor and Amanda Prynne; a pair of honeymooning couples, two of whom (Elyot and Amanda) were previously married - obviously with hilarious consequences. Simon Robson is wonderfully caddish as Elyot; Joanna Page (of Gavin and Stacey fame, I suddenly realise) has some lovely histrionics (and kiss curls) as Sibyl; Clive Hayward plays the puffed-up stick-in-the-mud Victor incredibly well - but it's Imogen Stubbs as Amanda who steals the show. She's cute and coquettish, cheeky and charming - and brilliant at tango and charleston. And she gets all the best lines:

Elyot: "It doesn't suit women to be promiscuous."
Amanda: "It doesn't suit men for women to be promiscuous!"

I think I want to be her.

Simon Robson as Elyot Chase and Imogen Stubbs as Amanda Prynne. Photo by Jonathan Keenan.

Private Lives continues until 9 April. See the Royal Exchange website for full details.

All dolled up

2011-02-27T11:41:00.008Z

Henrik Ibsen is a popular man in Manchester at the moment. It was only October when the Royal Exchange dusted down The Lady From The Sea and gave it a rare airing; now the Library, temporarily playing out of The Lowry, is tackling the rather better known A Doll's House.

A Doll's House caused a bit of a stir when it hit the Norwegian stage in 1879, taking a dim view as it does towards the traditional role of women and the 19th-century norms of marriage. It has often been tagged as a feminist piece, but if Nora making off to drown herself in a fjord after being exposed for conspiring behind her husband's back is feminism, well...

I'll admit I wasn't in much of a mood for a morality tale on Friday evening, but actually I enjoyed the play. Director Chris Honer's device for underscoring Nora's progressively mad mutterings to herself gave strength to the soliloquies; although the crescendo door-slamming was less effective, tending towards farce at points. As is often the case with Library productions, the set and costumes were a little staid, with period furniture and bustles a-plenty, but it worked well here with the Ibsen Realism.

Despite the famous Ibsen Naturalism not being played up as much as at the Exchange (largely because this play is completely indoors), there were some light floaty movements when Torvald (Ken Bradshaw) is comparing Nora to a bird. Other imagery includes financial: Dr Rank (Daniel Brocklebank) describing his foreseen death as "bankruptcy" and "liquidation"; Torvald's timely banker and bonuses chatter raising a laugh or two. Probably my favourite performance was from an impressive Paul Barnhill as shady wheeler-dealer Krogstad whose heart is melted by ice queen Mrs Linde (Sarah Ball), and special mention goes to my former schoolmate Emma Cunniffe, who was incredibly convincing as the increasingly delusional Nora. Solid stuff.

Emma Cunniffe as Nora and Ken Bradshaw as Torvald. Photo by Gerry Murray.

A Doll's House continues until 12 March. See the Library website for full details.

Three is the magic number

2011-02-24T18:49:00.011Z

Last night's Bad Language event at the Castle Hotel on Oldham Street was another corker. This was number three of the regular monthly outings. There's a load of pictures on organiser Daniel Carpenter's Facebook page, so be nice and make friends with the fella then you can see them. Here's one of me looking suitably entranced by newcomer Aaron Gow, regular contributor on Dave Hartley's wunderbar Screen150 (on which I have a new review this week, of my favourite film Black Narcissus, complete with a picture I drew with coloured pencils and that. Get me). Aaron writes about the experience here; he kindly doesn't mention that I pronounced his name incorrectly, bless him.

So, lots of people took to the stage for the increasingly popular open mic slot (I've already signed up for next month so's I don't miss out on torturing the masses with my weird and wonderful tales of death, destruction and, er, clown outfits). I really can't be bothered listing all the performers, partly because I'm lazy but largely because I'm hungover, but suffice it to say #beatoff were out in force. Fat Roland did his tooth fairy story off of 330 Words, Tom Mason did the unabridged (I believe) version of Dream Girlfriend, my Ask Ben & Clare compadre Benjamin Judge brought back to life some women authors as zombies in Brains, the aforementioned Hartley (modelling a second natty waistcoat. Who'd've thought?) got his revenge on rude bookshop customers, and I treated the hordes to Dress-down Friday, inspired by my first run-in with the concept, in my current place of work. Special mention goes to Claire Symonds and her fabulous tale of magpies. She's a good egg and even bought Tom a mop and a tomato for his birthday, which he was celebrating, quite obviously, in style.

After David Gaffney's fantastic PowerPoint presentations last month, this time the headline slot was filled by poet Jo Bell of Bugged. She read some stuff from Something Everyday (I really love Urban Mermaid from 21 February), alongside the project's editor and fellow poet Max Wallis, and plenty of other great potty-mouthed poetry. Next month's event features Rod Tame, another poet (who brought a bit of steampunk to the shenanigans), and takes place on Wednesday 30 March, starting at 7.30pm. All the details are on Facebook here. In the meantime, don't forget that the deadline for submissions to the next Bad Language anthology is 2 March. That be next week, me hearties.

ADDENDUM 27/02/11, ERRATA: The lovely folk at Bad Language tell me that, in fact, Rod will be the special guest star at April's event, not March's. March is still TBC.

ADDENDUM 07/03/11: March guest has been confirmed as Gerry Potter poet. The date has come forward a week to 23 March.

More on the last event here, courtesy Matt "CageFightingBlogger" Tuckey - thanks for the mention!

A moment of fiction #11

2011-02-23T15:19:00.000Z

Ahoy there, writing and reading chums. Here's the latest update of reading and writing stuff around and about the merry town of Manchester.

Firstly upcoming events...

It's been promised for a while, and I finally have confirmation that UNSUNG will be holding the launch event for issue 6 on Monday 14 March at 8pm in the Thirsty Scholar. It's two quid on the door, you get a copy of the mag and there are more details on Facebook here.

If your stomping ground is south of the city, there's a new 10-week creative writing course (with an accredited teacher, no less) starting up soon at trendy-old-record-shop-cum-cafe ON THE CORNER on Beech Road in Chorlton. Sessions cost £6 each and take place 6-8pm from Thursday 24 March. Booking is advised: call 0161 881 4841 or drop in to On The Corner (formally Kiss My Feet) to book.

Next up, the BLANK MEDIA COLLECTIVE are running In_Tuition, weekly discussions and workshops open to all creative types based in the North West, at the newly opened BlankSpace in town. The second Tuesday of the month (so I'm guessing it starts on Tuesday 8 March), 6.30-8.30pm, is dedicated to literature and creative writing. "Informal and relaxed discussions of technique in poetry, prose, scripts [...] will mix with debate around contemporary and classic stylings from particular authors and publications of interest. The sessions will incorporate a constructive criticism session of original work from participants within the group." Recommended donation is £1.50 and rumour has it tea and cake will be served. Full details are on the website here or in the latest issue of Blank Pages, a copy of which you can download online here.

Now submissions news...

The aforementioned BLANK PAGES are currently looking for submissions. If you are a writer of poetry (up to 60 lines per poem) or short fiction (1,500-2,500 words), send your work to editor@blankmediacollective.org. Any themes are considered; full submission guidelines are here.

Matthew Hull of Blank Pages fame (you may remember him from such Manchester-based publications as Creative Tourist and Bewilderbliss) has yet another new venture feather in his cap, as the editor of IT'S GETTING WORSE. It’s Getting Worse is, and I quote, "a new home for creative cultural commentary". If you’ve got an idea for a feature and you’d like to become a contributor, email editor.itsgettingworse@gmail.com. Benjamin Judge (you may remember him from such fabulous creations as Ask Ben & Clare and Roy Keane's Lucky Scarf) did.

NEW WRITING DUNDEE, an internationally focused anthology, is inviting submissions for its sixth issue (stories 2,000 words max; poems 25 lines max): the deadline is 2 April. All the ins and outs of what you need to send are on the Literary Dundee website here.

Finally, fun things...

YET TO BE BOOKS is an "online group to read and chat about unpublished but finished books", co-run by local lass Sian Cummins, a well-deserved gong-winner in the most recent Oxfam Short Story Competition. If you leave a comment on the Yet To Be Books blog before 10 March, you will a) be privy to some great new writing and b) be in the running to win the US version of Chris Killen's fantastic debut novel, The Bird Room. Read more here.

COMMONWORD have a Best of Blog Competition 2011 on the go for writers living or working in the North of England. The first round runs until 30 June and will be judged by Shamshad Khan (the second round runs 1 July to 31 December 2011), with winnings of £100 first prize, £50 second and £25 third up for grabs. You need to sign up to the Commonword Blog, which is a "blogspace for placing your creative writing and inviting feedback on it", leave at least five useful comments on other writers’ work and, obviously, post some of your own stuff. "Posts can be of short fiction, flash fiction, poetry, autobiography, excerpts from a novel, a traditional blog post – in fact any kind of writing that works on the blog." Check the conditions here.

Film studies

2011-02-21T16:52:00.000Z

Great news about £8 million being awarded to my old next-door neighbour the Whitworth Art Gallery. The money, from the Heritage Lottery Fund, will go towards the long-awaited MUMA-designed extension, which will double the public space and introduce a new main entrance into the building from Whitworth Park. An art garden will also be created, which sounds very pleasant; read more on the project here.

If you fancy seeing the Whitworth before the changes get underway, combine your trip with the free Unravel drop-in workshop taking place for one day only in the gallery this Saturday (26 February), 11am-4pm. Follow @unravelfilm on Twitter for updates.

The Unravel project aims to create an epic 16-hour hand-painted film that correlates in length to 874 miles - the distance from John O'Groats to Land's End. Winner of the Deutsche Bank Award for Art at the Royal College of Art 2010, Unravel is involving as many people as possible across England, Scotland and Wales in collaboration with national film venues, art galleries, community spaces and educational institutions.

The organisers Chris Paul Daniels (my pal Jo's cousin, I believe), Maria Anastassiou, Mark Pickles, Jo Byrne and Manchester-based Kelvin Brown say: "Unravel aims to turn the viewer into the maker of the work in a literal 'hands-on' way. We hope that these events will be an entertaining, informative and inspiring introduction to film-making, providing an informal setting for people to interact with each other as much as the project." Enjoy!

The first rule about Book Club...

2011-02-16T15:36:00.007Z

Following on from last month's call to arms, going on for 20 ladies and gentlemen (slightly more menfolk than women, but that's the way it goes) gathered at Madlab last night to reinvigorate the Sci-fi Book Club for 2011.

This was a most encouraging turn-out and various ideas were knocked about for how to proceed. It was decided that the remainder of the reading list from 2010 would be scrapped, so if you were reading The Book of Dave by Will Self or Feersum Endjinn by Iain M Banks, tough. The six below were offered and agreed instead. They will probably take this order, but for updates follow the all-new Twitter feed: @mcrsf_madlab and use the hashtag #mcrsf in Tweets. Sci-fi Book Club meets at Madlab the third Tuesday of the month at 7pm; the next get-together is Tuesday 15 March. There will be pizza and perhaps beer, so bring your pocket money.

March: I, Robot by Isaac Asimov, advocated by Omar
April: Falling Free by Lois McMaster Bujold, advocated by Trialia
May: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K Dick
June: The Siberiad by Stanislaw Lem, advocated by Naomi
July: Snowcrash by Neal Stephenson, advocated by Simon
August: Anvil of Stars by Greg Bear, advocated by Mark

Photo by Book Club Clothing, who will be touting their wares in the Kestrel Suite at Common, opposite Madlab, on Thursday 24 February 7.30-10.30pm. Be there or don't get a fab book-inspired tee.

ADDENDUM 17/02/11: More on the Madlab website - click here, wontcha?

Nicholas Royle vs Nicholas Royle (like Kramer vs Kramer, but with less crying)

2011-02-15T13:34:00.002Z

The exposed brickwork of the Engine House at the International Anthony Burgess Foundation is becoming a familiar fixture in my life. Last Thursday, I was once again gazing upon its redness, at the meeting of the two Nicholas Royles.

Both writers, the pair have known each other since first being confused when new writing magazine Sunk Island Review rejected a short story by each but sent the rejection letter for both to just one. (Are you keeping up?) The recipient was Nicholas Royle, Professor of English at the University of Sussex and author of various non-fiction "academic" works including the appropriately entitled The Uncanny, and pictured below on the right. He forwarded the rejection, both stories and a covering note to Nicholas Royle, Lecturer in Creative Writing at Manchester Metropolitan University and author of various fiction "non-academic" works including Counterparts, Saxophone Dreams, The Matter of the Heart, The Director’s Cut and Antwerp, and pictured below on the left.

Royle Manchester (as University Challenge would have it) explained, "Our interest in doubles predated being aware of each other", and it's this shared curiosity along with the shared moniker that led the two to arrange to get together, at a lecture in London some years ago. They have since continued to meet up socially, have toyed with the idea of collaborating on a project called "Double Take" (watch this space - you never know!) and are still intrigued by the coincidences caused by the crossover of name and profession.

Royle Manchester: "[There have been] a number of things where we've been confused one from the other, and from the start we've found that entertaining and interesting..."
Royle Sussex: "And also irritating, weird..."
Royle Manchester: "Uncanny?"
Royle Sussex: "Yes, uncanny."

As well as chatting and fielding questions from the floor, the two Nicholas Royles also read their work. Royle Manchester treated the 50 or so audience members to his number-strewn short story The Maths Tower ("at, where we at MMU like to call, The Place Down The Road") along with the first half of the new weird but wonderful The Other Man. Can't wait for the full version when it's finished. Royle Sussex, meanwhile, gave us two extracts from his richly descriptive first novel Quilt, described by The Guardian as "an intense study of grief and mental disintegration, a lexical celebration and a psychological conundrum". Can't believe either of them would have their work rejected. Just goes to show, eh?

Photo, ahem, "borrowed" from Rob Spence's Topsyturvydom blog, taken by Matthew Frost of Manchester University Press, who whet the whistles with their whiskey (try saying that when you're pished). Hope Rob and Matthew don't mind!

Collection selection

2011-02-10T13:25:00.009Z

I'm a bit behind on reporting here, but this better-late-than-never news ties in nicely with today's adventures in the Mancunian wonderland, relating, as it does, to Didsbury-based writer Nicholas Royle. Nick, a self-confessed collector, has been busy collecting stories for Salt's new anthology The Best British Short Stories 2011, and the list is in. You can read the contents here and more on the collection, which I hear is out in April, here.

I'm so pleased to see the inclusion of the fabulous Feather Girls by Chorley gal Claire Massey, who won the Oxfam Short Story Competition last summer with the amazing Chorden-under-Water and treated us to this particular number at the launch of The Hidden Gem Press in November (see my post). I'm a bit of a fan.

Anyway, the link to today is that Nicholas Royle is at the International Anthony Burgess Foundation tonight from 6pm, reading a new story (if his Twitterings are anything to go by) and talking to the other Nicholas Royle. More here, and hopefully more from me about it tomorrow.

Alchemical reaction

2011-02-09T15:36:00.004Z

So yesterday, the word "alchemical" cropped up on Words & Fixtures and today, totally by accident, I learnt more about alchemy. Alchemy, so I'm told, is both a philosophy and an ancient practice that attempts to change base metals into gold.

Upcycling also converts worthless tut into wonderful trinkets, as mentioned in this post here, and earlier I swung by the Royal Exchange to see the Craft Shop's Upcycled exhibition.

Supported by the Crafts Council, the Royal Exchange Craft Shop commissioned students from the MA Design LAB at MMU's Manchester School of Art to transform defunct objects into objets d'art, and these are now on display (and for sale) in the voluminous lobby until Thursday 31 March.

I'm particularly taken by Lorraine Otoo's crocheted creations re-using metal and cotton (necklace pictured above) and Catherine Chester's reworking of old watch components and vintage photos into unique jewellery. Other jewellery includes Sharleen Marius' recycled steel pieces, and work by a number of established makers invited to complement that by the students - I've got my eye on the button brooches and earrings courtesy Lovely Pigeon; the fabric flower corsages by Lucy Smethurst, and Chain Of Daisies' vintage gem earrings and bird necklaces and bracelets (I can't stop buying things with bird motifs at the moment).

There are also plenty of homewares and tablewares. Bethan Jones offers up ceramics, while Hannah Lovett, Emily Jackson and Geoff Hall have all worked with recycled glass.

Geoff has also created a special display using recovered glassware, recycled scrap window panes and flameworked scientific glass tubing, and it's worth the trip for this alone. Called "The Alchemist", this three-tier exhibit makes full use of one of the three-sided cabinets near the bar, so each face reveals one of the three stages in the alchemical process: Nigredo, Albedo and Rubedo. The craftmanship, attention to detail and even historical link to the Royal Exchange demonstrated is amazing: go see!

Altered images

2011-02-08T12:17:00.000Z

Yesterday evening saw the pretty much packed launch of new art show Reflexive Landscapes & Cutting Machines by Bruce Thompson at the Beggars Bush bar on Beech Road in Chorlton. Before we go any further, I'd better come clean: Bruce is my friend and lodger. He feeds my cats and I don't want to get on the wrong side of him.

Nonetheless, I show no bias when I advise you to check out the exhibition over the next month or so. Treat yourself to a drink while you're there. Go on. Here's the exhibition poster, influenced by Bruce's interest in decorative screens:

The works on display, however, are each an image in themselves and the show encompasses two series Bruce has been working on over the last few years. I was already familiar with Reflexive Landscapes, a colourful, dynamic oeuvre (did I just say "oeuvre"? Ha!), with more than a few sci-fi threads. The pieces from the Cutting Machines series, however, were new to me, and I really enjoyed their pared-down compositions, subtle cream and garlic pink shades, and rich textures.

Bruce has studied both art and architecture, and was working on very fine airbrush automatic abstract paintings when I first met him a number of years ago. In his latest work, he reconsiders these spontaneous pieces by rendering them using a computer-based 3D modelling package, and adding more colour, light and depth. This second stage is then further transformed by manipulating points of view and fragmenting and recombining elements of the original canvas to produce a totally new image.

Says Bruce: "This body of work is concerned with the unconscious mind in relation to space and perception, expressed through art and architecture. The work can be viewed as a departure point from painting and a move towards a cybernetic, pataphysical and alchemical world."

Unsure what pataphysics are, I consulted Wikipedia and discovered that it's a pseudophilosophy that parodies modern science often through the use of nonsensical language. Well, if it's good enough for Bruce and French author Raymond Queneau, it's good enough for me...

A moment of fiction #10

2011-01-28T09:35:00.003Z

It's been a while, so here's the first Moment Of Fiction instalment for 2011.

First up, Natalie at THE SHRIEKING VIOLET zine is teaming up with Manchester Modernist Society and the Loiterers Resistance Movement in a collaborative project on Sunday 6 March and needs contributors. They are looking for expressions of interest by today (sorry!) for events, performances and pieces of creative writing, interview or journalism for a publication and activities celebrating 10 Modernist women related to the North West. The 10 heroines are: Mitzi Solomon Cunliffe, Winifred Brown, Rachel Haugh, Susan Sutherland Isaacs, Marie Stopes, Professor Rosalie David, Olive Shapley, Professor Doreen Massey, Mary Stott and Linder Sterling. Email info@manchestermodernistsociety.org with your heroine and outline of your idea.

Another deadline looming is Monday 31 January. This is for the second issue of FRICTION MAGAZINE, published by the Newcastle Centre for Literary Arts and edited by students on the MA and PhD creative writing programmes at Newcastle University (I guess it's a bit like Manchester's Bewilderbliss). There is no theme and no entry fee, and you can be established or not established, and it doesn't matter if you don't live in Newcastle. They're looking for poetry, short stories, flash fiction and also life writing - submit via editor@frictionmagazine.co.uk but check the website for full details. If you miss this deadline, don't panic: Issue #3 submissions close 31 March.

Next week, Nik Perring is guest editing SmokeLong Quarterly, so if you have a really fantabulous 1,000-word (or less) story up your sleeve you think he'd like (read his blog post for ideas), get in there. Submissions details are here; do read as they're quite specific.

A further submissions deadline I've heard about this week is 2 March, for the third anthology by the wonderful folk at BAD LANGUAGE. All the details are here and, if you want to do your homework, get a copy of the second collection, Scattered Reds, from Five Stevenson Square and the first one, I Know Where The City Has Wings, at Cornerhouse. The next Bad Language event, when poet Jo Bell will be in the hot spot and there will be the ever-popular open mic, is on Wednesday 23 February from 7.30pm at The Castle Hotel. Lovely Nici has set up an event page on that Facebook with more info.

Talking of open mic nights, I hear Silver Apples on Burton Road in West Didsbury are now running one - I believe it's the last Thursday of the month 7.30-11.30, free entry, but I'll try and glean more details for the next edition of MOF.

I'll also keep you posted on submission details for the third issue of PANTHEON magazine. Editor Beth tells me: "I'm hoping to make the next issue for April/May, depending on money and time etc." Give the woman some money, dammit! And if you fancy supporting another good cause, B&N zine needs some spondoolies to keep going, editor Sam recently told me at an International Anthony Burgess Foundation chapbook launch (check out the Foundation's upcoming literary events on the website).

Matthew of UNSUNG has sent a missive round saying that "In the interest of quality over haste, we have decided to postpone our launch night for Issue 6 of UNSUNG until the end of February. The amount of submissions we've received has been vast and they've been great. We'll let you know the launch night in February." Follow them on Facebook to keep up to speed.

Poet Max Wallis has got the SOMETHINGEVERYDAY project up and running again for 2011, and this time it's a collaboration. Check out the new-look site for all the info and email getinvolved@somethingeveryday.co.uk to, er, get involved.

PAPERGIRL are also looking for collaborateurs for their second Manchester project. "For Papergirl Manchester 2011 we need a collective to organise, promote, ride and deliver. If you can help gain submissions, talk to the media, organise people, coordinate an exhibition or help with the ride get in touch", they say. Email them via papergirlmanchester@gmail.com

That's all for now, folks! Happy writing and reading...

Finally, please don't forget to quiz Ask Ben & Clare (via askbenandclare@gmail.com), submit stories and poems to Roy Keane's Lucky Scarf (via roykeanesluckyscarf@gmail.com), fling flash fiction at 330 Words (via 300words@gmail.com) or rustle up a review for Screen150 (via screen150@gmail.com).

Not bad at all

2011-01-27T11:26:00.015Z

Last night Dan, Joe and Nici hosted another marvellous Bad Language evening at The Castle Hotel on Oldham Street.

Dan opened with a poem about the now ramshackle, onetime competition to Coney Island (which will in my mind forever be linked with Cloverfield), then gave up the stage to #beatoff's very own Dave Hartley, with a concoction about the Bridgewater Hall in space. The next #beatoff member, er, up was Tom Mason with a slightly longer version of his 2nd Violin from 330 Words. Also in the first third was Bugged co-creator, prolific poet and fellow boat person Jo Bell, who raised more than a few laughs with Coming, and one of the Bugged contributors, Calum Kerr, with a short short story about one man's innovative solution to writer's block. Nici rounded the section up with a dark tale of seeing in the New Year at Beetham Tower, though not in the traditional way.

After an interlude for recharging our glasses, star-of-the-show David Gaffney gave us The King Of Powerpoint, which I'd seen him perform on Short Story Day, but went down a real treat with the Bad Language crowd. He also read from his new Salt collection The Half-Life Of Songs, which is reviewed by Peter Wild on Bookmunch (where I've also written some reviews, if you're remotely interested). This was the third time I've seen David read (the first time was at the Bad Language Literature Quiz back in September), and I'm worried he's probably starting to think of me as some kind of Gaffney groupie. Or a stalker.

Talking of which, after another break (the drinking is as important as the readings), Joe gave us a stalker story, then, as if by magic, Bad Language newbie Joely "@thecharmquark" Black read Psycho, another 330 Words story, which she even got into character for. #beatoff's Fat Roland also "performed", extracting the letters making up his story, Despondent Correspondent, from various parts of his anatomy and vestments (as well as penning the award-winning Fat Roland On Electronica, he posts creative writing here). Another short story came courtesy of Guy Garrud, a regular (along with #beatoffers Dave and Ben, and John Andrew Hutchison, who I also had the pleasure of meeting last night) at the Manc Spec Fiction group at Madlab.

Then there was little old me. I read one of my new stories, White Rabbits, which involves a character called Alice, a John Tenniel artwork (above), a looking-glass and a life-sized bunny. I'd gone for this as today happens to be the birthday of Lewis Carroll (who, according to Wikipedia, pretty much invented Scrabble, coincidentally the board game of choice on the Bad Language logo). Thinking about it, I should have dedicated the story to rabbit-watcher extraordinaire and natty waistcoat-wearer Mr Hartley (the story even includes the phrase "natty waistcoat". One day I'll share it with you. Maybe tomorrow, who knows).

There were also loads of poets, so once again the evening offered a good mix. In no particular order (largely because, having consumed copious amounts of strong Dutch lager and not bothering to take any notes, I can't remember) the poets included: Dominic Berry, with his vegan-coming-out poem; a (possibly Spanish) lady called Mercedes (@cedered on Twitter); Scouser Gerry, who gave us a great poem about fighting girls on the Scottie Road in Liverpool; Heather, who read last time and this time treated us to the fantastic line "scum of clothes"; Anna Percy, who runs the night (which I think is on Mondays at Sandbar) Stirred: For Women Who Write, and Anna's pal whose name alluded me. Forgive me if I've missed anyone: as you can see, it was quite a roll call.

Finally, news on the night was that, 1) the next Bad Language shindig is on Wednesday 23 February at The Castle, and 2) following the success of I Know Where The City Has Wings and Scattered Reds, submissions are now open for the third Bad Language anthology. All the details are here and the closing date is 2 March. Ace.

Crafty idea

2011-01-24T10:33:00.002Z

Upcycling is a word I'm hearing more and more, although it doesn't seem to have made its way into the Oxford English Dictionnaire yet - at least not the free online version anyway. Never fear, Wikipedia is always on hand to come to the rescue in times of missing popular culture references crises; indeed here you'll find that upcycling is defined as: the process of converting waste materials or useless products into new materials or products of better quality or a higher environmental value. In other words, it just goes to show that one man's trash really is another man's treasure.

As if to prove this, an upcoming exhibition at the Royal Exchange Craft Shop sees up-and-coming contemporary craft makers showing and selling homewares, jewellery and accessories inspired by upcycling. The special commissions are by students on the MA in Design at MMU and include Catherine Chester, whose intricate and interesting earrings (pictured) are made from recycled watch components. There will also be pieces for sale by established makers and local craftspeople, so if you didn't even know the Royal Exchange had a craft shop, this gives you the perfect opportunity to bob along and check it out.

The Upcycled show launches with a special preview 12-3pm on Saturday 5 February and then runs until Thursday 31 March, with a special free workshop event on Saturday 5 March. It is part of the Take Stock project which the lovely Craft Shop ladies, Rachael and Gail, are running in conjunction with The Crafts Council. More info can be found on the website, blog, Facebook and Twitter, and you can expect a review here once it's all underway.

Chapbooks and verse

2011-01-20T16:36:00.001Z

Last night, I swung by the International Anthony Burgess Foundation to wave my hanky and throw my hat in the air for Adrian Slatcher, who was launching his new poetry chapbook alongside fellow Manchester-based poet JT Welsch. Adrian's pamphlet Playing Solitaire For Money and JT's Orchids are among the first six volumes in Salt's new Modern Voices series, pictured below.

Adrian, who has previously published Extracts From Levona with Manchester's own Knives, Forks And Spoons Press, describes Playing Solitaire For Money as "a collection of lyric poems, which are contemporary in form and subject", and you can get a taster of the more personal mid-section of the collection in Late Love, which is reproduced on Adrian's proper, grown-up website (as opposed to his blog, which I usually namecheck).

He started the set with one of his older works, the aptly themed Anthony Burgess, before treating us to a few numbers from the book, and finally some more recent poems including The Maze, with its wonderfully descriptive "aristocratic kitsch", and In The Harlequin, about Adrian's current craze, Modernist sculptor Jacob Epstein (with tales of whom he was recently excitedly regaling me in The Art Of Tea, and I'll confess I hadn't the foggiest what he was going on about).

Next up, Louisianian JT's style was quite a contrast. His short, snappy lines recounted subjects as diverse as sexuality, art, love, nature. I really enjoyed the parallels drawn between tree-cutting and the economic recession in Coppice, and the lovely listing of flora and fauna on the beach in Formby. If you want to test the waters, have a shufty at The Mirror Stage here.

Science friction

2011-01-19T11:41:00.007Z

Unbelievably, Sci-Fi Book Club has been on the boil for a year. Unbelievably, after a year, Sci-Fi Book Club appears to have gone somewhat off the boil. My spy rocked up to last night's meet, and was only one among four, which a lesser, more lazy commentator might take as indicative of the failure of society as a whole.

Or perhaps they could blame it on post-Christmas depression, the cold and dark, or folk being skint. But! - I would argue - the group's first-ever get-together was a snow-bound 5 January 2010 (as described on this very blog here), so I don't buy it.

Maybe it was down to this month's reading material, the rather-more-fantasy-than-sci-fi Swiftly by Adam Roberts (it sounded shit, which put me off, and the author sounded like he was obsessed with shit, which I don't suppose helped anyone else much either). But! - I would say - the reading list is decided by the members, so how can they vote on a book then turn their back on it in such a way?

Now, I like Sci-Fi Book Club. It has a hashtag (#mcrsf), a Google Group and a logo (above); it's free and it has forged links with the city's library service and orders in the books so you don't even have to buy any books; it takes place within the relaxing environs of the inimitable Madlab. You can even bring beer, dammit, and the collected troops order in some scrummy pizza to keep those energy levels up. I like Sci-Fi Book Club. I have read some of the novels and joined in some of the discussions. I have met some interesting people as a result of being a Sci-Fi Book Clubber; I have even made some new friends.

I don't want Sci-Fi Book Club to go by the wayside, so this is a rallying call! Sci-Fi Book Clubbers past, present and future - where are you all? Go to the next meet-up (Tuesday 15 February, 7pm); decide on a new bunch of books to read - books that people who read sci-fi actually want to read! I don't know, how about Isaac Asimov, Philip K Dick, Greg Bear, even John Wyndham...

Come on, guys, let's mobilise!

The collaborateurs

2011-01-11T11:56:00.005Z

Just now, @MancLibraries directed their not insubstantial 3,502 Twitter followers to their brilliant bookish blog Manchester Lit List and, in particular, a piece about FoldingStory, a "group storytelling game". Only yesterday, Radio 4's Front Row was inviting listeners to add the next part to their Brett Easton Ellis-bred Chain Story, following on from Man Booker Prize winner Howard Jacobson. (Send a maximum of 50 words by email to frontrow@bbc.co.uk or via Twitter @BBCFrontRow before 31 January.) Just last month, Tim Burton's Cadavre Exquis took its last collaborative Tweet, and you can now read the full Stain Boy tale here.

This upturn in interest is nothing if not a weird kind of coincidence, as I've recently been extolling the virtues of a good game of Consequences. It's such a fun way to collaborate as a writer as the results can be so imaginary and tangential. I experienced much glee joining in the Tim Burton experiment and contributing a line to Poem 27 as part of the Angels & Anarchy show at Manchester Art Gallery. I also harped on about my love of the Exquisite Corpse back in May in the comments on Art of Fiction, the blog by Adrian Slatcher, who organised a couple of rounds as part of Madlab's (seemingly now defunct) Interesting Monday. Hopefully, I myself will be helping spread the pleasures of the art form further afield some time soon. As they say: watch this space.