Well red (or perhaps not...)

Sixty-four per cent of Spar shoppers are flummoxed by all that gubbins on wine labels. Fact.

Helpfully, 'so near so...' has found a way to get round this: printing labels in local dialect. Because obviously that's the solution. Not getting rid of all those airy fairy phrases or anything - 'plummy undertones', 'raspberry notes', 'goes well with curry dishes' - you know, that kind of thing. No, what Joe Public really needs is a description written in a really broad, really fake accent, targeted at the specific geographical area in which JP happens to live. Cor lummy bloimey, guvnor! Fuckh a duckh, mate! Hoots, mon!

(And what makes me really chortle is that they have only labelled up one wine: Merlot. Because that one particularly, out of all the wines in the whole of France - nay, the whole of the world - is the one that nobody's ever tasted before. FFS.)

Who does the work on this stuff? Did they misunderstand the brief about making the language easier to understand, but somehow the client thought it was great, cos it's, like, ironic or something? More to the point, are they looking for copywriters?