Writing - and reading

My new story, part of my new project I've been Twittering on about, has today been published on 330 Words, which is up for a gong in tonight's glittering Manchester Blog Awards. I will take to the stage and read it, so do pop by. I'll tell you more about the project here soon. In the meantime, feel free to check out the website, Site Specific Stories. You can read the story, Solid Foundations Are Of Paramount Importance here.

Wider reading

Following on from that last missive, may I suggest some wider reading. I direct you to the blog of the wonderful Nik Perring, who is quoted in my Creative Times piece (now complete with at least one nice comment, which is most pleasing). As well as being very lovely about me and my feature, Nik has posted his full thoughts on flash fiction (he kindly sent me all this, but I was limited to a strict 500 wordcount so couldn't include anywhere near enough of his wiseness). I also asked David Gaffney to furnish me with sage words for my piece, and indeed you can read more about his take on flash fiction in an interview with the very same Nik and also by downloading a PDF of his Tindal Street Press Writing Masterclass, Be Short. This includes some rather fine tips for writing flash fiction; perhaps useful before entering a certain competition you may have heard of? Anyway, more on and from both Nik and David soon, so watch this space...

Three stories

Apologies if you've been waiting for a post from me. I know some of you are in high-security institutions and this blog is your only chink of light out into the real world. I've let you down. I've let myself down. It happens. Especially as the short dark days of December dribble on by. As recompense, I'm giving you three stories to read. And they're not by me, you'll be eternally glad to know.

I finally remembered to swing by the Didsbury Arts Festival website to check up on whether they'd posted, as promised, the winning entries to the summer's short story competition. It's nearly Christmas; I'd be more than underwhelmed if they hadn't. Of course they have, doubting Thomas, and you can link to the top three stories (and indeed poems) and download them here.

First prize statuette went to Heather Leach with So Much Time in a Life. Second place rosette was picked up by Juliet West's You and Your Beautiful Words. Tim Scott picked up the bronze medal with his Suicide Notes (well, not literally, hopefully). Also shortlisted were the talented Mr Socrates Adams-Florou (A Bus Ride) plus Max Dunbar (Anderson Visits the MRI), Elizabeth Stott (The Anniversary Oysters) and Veronica Turiano (Right There When You Need It).

Enjoy. And don't be expecting any proper gifts off me this festive season.

A moment of fiction #8

It's high time for another instalment of A Moment Of Fiction, wouldn't you say? So here's the agenda for this round-up of all things writery: first up, submissions; second, readings; third, publications; fourth, AOB.

Unsung, "Manchester's best free literary magazine" which had its very own festival earlier this year, is accepting submissions for a December edition promising to be "its mightiest". I'm not privy to the deadline as I hadn't heard back off Mr Matthew Byrne at the time of going to print, but I'm guessing it's pretty soon. Send your poems / prose / articles / illustrations to: unsung.manchester@gmail.com. Matthew says, "Launch night is TBC but I assure you there will be beer, a mic, a roof and a toilet", so keep your eye on Facebook for details as they become available.

Bewilderbliss is under new management. Having completed (and hopefully passed) their creative writing MAs, Matt and Jon are off to pastures new, and poet Max Wallis (of Talk To Me About Love and Something Every Day) is now in the hotseat. Issue 5 has been provided with a theme by lovely poet Jo Bell, one of the brains behind the Bugged project. Not surprisingly, she has picked "overheard". You can read more here and here, but basically you have until 15 January to send up to four poems, up to 5,000 words prose or a piece of black and white artwork relating to the theme for the cover and interior design.

Also on a poetic tip, poetry quarterly Magma welcomes submissions, as I found out at their recent "roadshow" as part of the Manchester Literature Festival (see my review on the official MLF Blog for more). The deadline for the next issue - the 50th! - is 28 February and edition editor Clare Pollard has chosen "journeys" as the theme, but off-theme poems will also be considered. Full details here.

A gentle reminder too that Ask Ben & Clare are also looking for contributions (nothing too strenuous; just a questionable conundrum for the great minds to solve), along with Roy Keane's Lucky Scarf.


Next week, meanwhile, there are a couple of events where you can be inspired by the work of others or indeed dabble in a reading and try your stuff out on a live (albeit dead drunk) audience. The Bad Language gang (aka Dan, Nici and Joe: blog; website) are having a launch night for their second anthology, Scattered Reds, next Wednesday (24 November). At newly done-up and beautifully betiled The Castle, it's free, kicks off at 7.30pm, with the first performer up at about 8pm - and there's still chance to read! If you wish to partake in the open mic slot, get an email off to events@badlanguagemcr.co.uk. You'll be in good company; I hear some of my Bad Language literature quiz teammates (see pic above, left to right: Mr Hartley, Ms Power, Mrs Conlon, Mr Judge, Mr Roland) will be stepping up to the oche.

Another open mic event next week is on Saturday (27 November), 6-9pm in the 2nd View Restaurant in Waterstone's Deansgate. I am reliably informed by Jon from MLF that this new monthly event is actually back due to popular demand! The Unannounced Poetry Acoustic is "an evening of songs and poems and stories to perform or just to listen. The first drink of the evening is on us and the entertainment is on you!" Did someone say free drinks? See you there.

Experimental poets If P Then Q are busy plugging The Other Room 21, which has a bit of a do on Wednesday 1 December with readings and that, free from 7pm.

Quick update on zines hitting the shelves... Out now is Pantheon issue 2 (featuring a "Beckett-ish piece" by Lil Dave Hartley and now available in Blackwells on Oxford Road, near t'uni, or via the website); Flux Autumn 2010 edition, which features a short story by Chris Killen called Sorry (it's good, but it has suffered a cut'n'paste error in the first par; I've reedited for your delight and delectation below*); Dan Russell's Things Happen Part Deux, which you can look at on Issuu with hard copies about the place soon; the latest B&N Magazine, edited by award-winning mightaswell blogger Sam Bail, is (I am assuming) available in the next month or so, while number 11 of The Shrieking Violet, the "media special", is out now at Good Grief! - which has just this week relocated to the Soup Kitchen in the NQ. My good friend Andrew tells me they sell alcohol, not just soup, so this, and its beautiful art nouveau adornments, gives me a number of reasons to get my arse in gear and visit some time soon.

If you want to gaze back wistfully over previous incarnations of A Moment of Fiction, I've created a magic little widget on the left hand side of this here blog. Look! A Moment Of Fiction archive! Consider it an early Christmas present. Don't say I don't treat you well.

(*Craig has a dream. In the dream he is dead. He has just died. He is in a room, with things in it. The things in the room are: a desk, a bed, a chair, a coffee table, a sofa, a wardrobe, a cup (with some tea in it, gone cold), a computer, a copied CD of Planet Waves by Bob Dylan, a pair of shorts, a sunlounger, a bottle of Daiquiri, a pair of mirrored sunglasses, a coat, a hat, a pair of tweezers, a sheet of writing paper, the lid of a biro, an empty cassette box, a packet of Walkers crisps (prawn cocktail flavour), a poster of Ben Affleck, an empty ice cream tub, a toy car, a toy boat, a miniature ‘gift book’ style copy of War and Peace (6 pt. font), a 50p coin, a cigarette lighter, a cornflake, a wisp of hair, a blank greetings card (‘Best Wishes!’), a pornographic magazine from the seventies, no windows, no door, and the smell of cats... Read the rest here.)

Readings of writings

Last night I appeared at the Manchester Literature Festival. And not just by turning up at a poetry recital or book launch. Nope. I actually climbed up on a stage in front of a ton of people and spoke into a microphone. Thankfully it was at about the right height, otherwise I'd've been jiggered. My first words were: "Hello." Pause. "I'm scared." Nice intro, wouldn't you agree?


I'd been asked to read one of my short stories published on 330 Words, which was up for two gongs in the Manchester Blog Awards, the event in question. I presented An Accident Waiting To Happen, my first submission to the site. It went a whole lot better than I expected; I even heard tittering, and at the right bits. Phew. It leads me to conclude that consuming three pints of strong lager before any public speaking can only be a Very Good Idea.


330 Words went on to snatch the Best New Blog, following in some damn fine footsteps, if I do say so myself. Congratulations to Tom Mason, and to all the other winners and shortlisted blogging champs. You can read the full list, with all the links and that on the MBA website. One day I may even get round to updating the blogroll here to reflect the newcomers.


Back-slapping, too, to the organisers: the upstairs room at The Deaf Institute turned out to be a great venue with its raked lecture hall-style seating and fancy flock wallpaper, while hearing Chris Killen (aye, he of The Bird Room) read was also a fantastic opportunity. (I only recently twigged why the Blog Awards form part of Manchester Literature Festival, hence all the readings: all the writers who blog in our fair city. I know: I can be a bit tick sometimes.)


Valerie O'Riordan wrote about the glittering shindig on Not Exactly True. Ben of Who The Fudge Is Benjamin Judge? too. Meanwhile, Dave Hartley was the official reviewer of the event for the Manchester Literature Festival Blog although at the time of going to press, it hadn't been published. I'm also trying to get hold of some pictures, so it may well be worth checking back to see if I'm successful. (And to see evidence of me wearing a skirt, which happens about five times a year.)

ADDENDUM 22 October 2010: Jon Atkin of Manchester Literature Festival has kindly sent over some snaps from the 330 Words readings. I have now pasted them into this post following the same order in which we appeared: Dave Hartley, my good self, Benjamin Judge and Tom Mason. I have also spotted that Fat Roland has written about the bash on his star-spangled Blog Of The Year, also referring to a previous post using the search function on 330 Words to bring up two references to "bananas". They are in stories by me and L'il Dave, and we (well, it was me, actually) happened to mention this on the very soiree. Well I never.

POSTSCRIPT 25 October 2010: Another wee mention, this time on the Manchester Blog Awards website. Thanks folks!

AND ALSO THIS 11 November 2010: Dave Hartley's write-up on the Manchester Literature Festival Blog, which has somehow alluded me until this very day.

Questions, questions, questions

Bloody hell, last night was the inaugural Bad Language Literature Quiz at the inimitable Waldorf and our team, The Arndale Twin Toilet Cubicle Confusion (yeah, ask Ben of Ask Ben & Clare), just missed the top spot by one point. No thanks to me - I'm just the lucky mascot, not the brains behind the outfit. The brains were Ben, Ian, Dave and Helen.

Not one to be discouraged by being crap at quizzes, however, I purposefully strode over to interrupt one third of the BL massive and query (for your benefit, dear literary quiz-enjoying readers) whether a second outing might be in the offing, the first one having gone so swimmingly. Joe was certainly up for the idea, so, if another function is organised, rest assured W&F will let you know.

By way of getting us warmed up, poet Max Wallis read some of his work (including a liberal hundreds-and-thousands sprinkling of "fucks"), while short story writer David Gaffney took to the floor during the all-important marking stage, treating us to some of his immense flash fiction, plus a couple of his Destroy PowerPoint presentations. We all got giddy and overexcited, possibly from eating some extremely pink cupcakes, maybe from nearly scooping the glittering first prize, but mainly at handing over five whole pounds (note to self: owe Ben a fiver) and getting our books signed. Sawn-Off Tales for me; Never Never and Aroma Bingo for the boys.


Cheekily, I asked Mr Gaffney if he wouldn't mind submitting a question to Ask Ben & Clare; he said I ought to put forward a contribution to his project The Poole Confessions. Briefly: "Over the summer short story writer David Gaffney will collect the anonymous confessions of the people of Poole and turn them into micro-short stories. He will read these short stories in special intimate one-to-one performances in a custom built mobile confessional box at Poole Literary Festival." I already have two confessions in mind. It's anonymous; I can't tell you what they are. You'll just have to guess.

Another Mini Moment Of Fiction: Short but sweet

A month has passed since author Beryl Bainbridge left us for other worlds, but one of her last pieces of work was a six-word story to help the Arvon Foundation promote its writing courses with a wee little competition. The full details of the contest are here, but basically you need to submit a piece of flash fiction of six words by 1 September to competition@arvonfoundation.org or via that Twitter to @arvonfoundation. (Thanks to Benjamin Judge for bringing this to the attention of W&F, BTW.)

BB's six words were: "I drowned. Angels arrived in submarines", which is pleasantly intriguing. Perhaps the most famous (and probably the inspiration for this task) is "For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn" by Ernest Hemingway. Anyway, now it's your turn: get cracking.

A Mini Moment Of Fiction: It's raining, it's pouring

Back in, oooooh June, the now regular (and, rather popular, I learnt at last night's quarterly Blogmeet) feature A Moment Of Fiction brought you the news of three writing competitions. I submitted a story for one, another I didn't enter although my sister-in-law did, and the third I have yet to get round to contributing towards.


Anyway, Rain Never Stops Play, the Creative Tourist and Rainy City Stories contest mentioned during that post, is now in the second stage of judging, and, as outlined in the rules, a shortlist of six stories has been drawn up. The first 500 words of each are now up on the CT site for the likes of you and me to cast our votes on (the public poll will count as 40 per cent of the score) and the final winners - one, a story based in Manchester; the other, a story set in another city - will be announced on 2 August, so you have less than a week in which to make a difference! Read the six intros to Dancing With Dragons, Finsbury Circus, Infinite Loop, Regulars, The City Is Leaving Me and Troubles, and pick your fave here.

Short crust

Last Thursday, I joined fellow blogger and spare-time creative writer Adrian Slatcher at the glittering awards gala for the Oxfam Short Story Competition, part of the annual Oxfam Bookfest. Adrian had submitted a dialogue-driven piece of fiction called Buffeteering; I hadn't entered, but I was keen to see who won and why. Going on for 50 stories were apparently put forward, and the judging was done by Manchester authors Nicholas Royle, Adele Geras and David Gaffney. Nick and Adele were at the do, and kicked off proceedings by each reading some of their own work: Adele the fantastical short story Sippora; Nick a work-in-progress set in Paris that will be called either The Mask or The Hood (he has yet to decide).

Following a brief interval, during which we were encouraged (largely unsuccessfully) to contribute to a kind of Consequences or complete a literary quiz (which Adrian subsequently won), the winners were announced in reverse order. Third came Sian Cummins with A Passive-agressive Killing Spree, second was The Humpty by Susan Bennett and first prize went to Claire Massey's Chorden-under-Water. The runners-up and winner each read the first page or so of their stories, and all sounded impressive. You can now read two of them in full on the Oxfam blog here (The Humpty to follow); a treat I will allow myself when I'm not inundated with work.

ADDENDUM 28/07/10: Runner-up story The Humpty by Susan Bennett is now up on the Oxfam site for your reading delectation.

Cutting a dash

Why don't we just face up to it: as a nation, we're just not all that awesome at sport. For proof, look no further than the recent disappointing performance by the England footballers at the World Cup, sharply followed by Scot tennis ace Andy Murray's semi-final showdown at Wimbledon. So who's looking forward to the 2012 Olympics, other than Boris? Ho-hum.


But does it matter, now we hear that Stella McCartney will be designing the official Team GB kits in collaboration with Adidas, with whom she already works (see photo). Gold medal to whoever came up with that idea.

I met Stella at an Elle Style Awards Party, some years ago when I was a proper full-blown media maven. I was in charge of the guest list; a kind of bouncer in a ballgown, if you will. Once my duties were over and the hideous glass paperweights had been handed out, I went for a wander around the bits of the Natural History Museum we were allowed to venture into, and bumped into Ms Mc wandering the other way. I greeted her with an enthusiastic, "Oh hi, Stella!", and she looked at me like I was an idiot. Which I was, really. Obviously she didn't know me from Adam.

Read me!

My good friend over at Manchester Libraries (@MancLibraries) spotted me cycling my lovely new Dutch-style steed, Hettie (as she has finally been christened), through the leafy Range this morning, and it prompted her to get in touch via the Twittervine.

She thought I might like to draw your attention, dear readers, to a book-winning contest. It's a monthly fixture and details for the July competition, which closes on Sunday, can be found upon the Manchester Lit List blog. This, as you well know, is a fine online establishment to which your trusty narrator has contributed on more than one occasion.

Up for grabs at this very moment is The Wonder, by Diana Evans. I have to admit I've not actually read it, but Ms Evans is the proud owner of a Betty Trask Award, so it must be good - after all, fellow Manchester Blog Awards winner Jenn Ashworth (check out her brand spanking new website here) is up for this glittering prize with her debut novel A Kind Of Intimacy (pictured).


Once you've won Diana's book and read it, you can chat to her through the ether on 12 August via ReadersPlace, which is pretty nifty. It seems quite a good site, too. Good luck, my lovelies.

Orange, with bits

I recently put first pen to paper then finger to keyboard and submitted an entry to the Guardian Orange First Words competition, for which the newspaper's readers (or mere website dropper-inners) were invited to write the first paragraph (up to 150 words) of an imaginary novel called Just Ourselves. This (rather clunky, I thought) title was magicked up by author Kate Mosse, co-founder and honorary director of the Orange Prize for Fiction, which had its starry pageant yesterday evening (Barbara Kingsolver's The Lacuna scooped top gong, since you're asking) to which I didn't win tickets.

Still you might as well read my effort. I like to imagine it may have made it onto the "high quality shortlist"; after all, I even seem to have shoehorned the word orange in, albeit totally subconsciously.

Just Ourselves – Written by Sarah-Clare Conlon

Where the baked bricks end, the darkness expands outwards. All the familiarity of the daytime becomes lost in a close wilderness of black secrets and mysterious noises. And here, together in the house on the hill, we huddle tight against the night and the howling. At least that's how I suppose you imagine us, but why? Are we paranoid because we don't see much of you, or do you really think we're hiding? We're not trying to be isolated up here, you know. I mean, just look at our place: it's radiating light and warmth. The windows glow orange, and they're gaping out into the heat. We're not shut off from the world. We turn our attention back from the outside, back to the moths, thrashing about wildly in the paper shade over the pendant bulb. The pair of them are going to disintegrate. Everyone knows; even them. Especially them.

Now we are one

Put up the bunting! Stick on your party hats! Get out your hooters! Today we're celebrating Words & Fixtures' first anniversary.

What a year it's been in our newly expanded world. Thanks to this new-fangled social media thingy, we've met loads of fab new people both in the blogosphere and in the real world, reconnected with old friends and colleagues, got involved in some really interesting online and offline projects, been paid hard cash and even won an award! None of it would have been possible without your support (well, it would, but I might have been less enthusiastic if it weren't for your involvement through inspiring emails and conspiring comments), and I hope you stick with my random ramblings based (albeit loosely) on language, literature, arts and culture. We will shortly be undergoing a modernisation project to mark this momentous occasion, so keep checking back, not only for more posts but also (eventually) for a new look. Thank you for reading - please continue - and don't forget to grab a delicious piece of imaginary birthday cake on your way out!

It's not the winning that matters (oh, who am I kidding?)

So I'm still reeling from Wednesday night and the shock of the moment (and certainly nothing to do with the copious amount of drink imbibed soon thereafter) when the Words & Fixtures moniker was announced as the recipient of the glittering Best New Blog gong at the 2009 Manchester Blog Awards. Look at us working that logo! We wear it well, non?


The evening, which took place in the newly refurbed and reopened Band On The Wall, was compered by a very-tight-and-very-red-dress-wearing Maria Ruban, who came up against something of a challenge with her catchphrase idea (we'll just leave it at that, eh?). Prize-giving duties were taken up by Kate Feld, and winners received a book courtesy of Manchester Literature Festival, a cheque courtesy of Arts Council England and a CD bearing the aforementioned logo courtesy of, ooh I dunno - Manchester Blog Awards? The bloggers nominated in the Best Writing category gave readings, as did author and judge Jenn Ashworth (showing her immense talent for situational description, but, if I'm honest, something of a downer with its rather bleak subject matter). Various mp3 bloggers played us some top tunes as part of Bloggerpalooza, a unique music streaming event, and I enjoyed The B-52s very much through my by then drunken haze.

The judging panel included: author and Guardian columnist Naomi Alderman; Dave Carter, head of Manchester Digital Development Agency; Richard Fair of BBC Manchester; author (and former blog award winner) Jenn Ashworth; Mike Noon of Arts Council England North West, and, last but most certainly not least, Manchester Blog Awards founder Kate Feld. Apparently, one of the judges said of W&F: 'It was the only blog out of the 24 shortlisted that made me laugh out loud.' See, I said I should become a comedian, didn't I?

So here's a list of (and links to) all the movers and shakers at the 2009 Manchester Blog Awards; big heartfelt congrats to them all (and, indeed, to everyone who was nominated and shortlisted):

Best City and Neighbourhood Blog: Lost in Manchester (anonymous). One of the judges said: "Sometimes it's easy to forget to look at what's right under your nose. I love its unashamed raw passion for Manchester."
Runner-up was The Manchester Zedders (Liam Purcell and Marie Pattison).

Best Personal Blog: My Shitty Twenties (Emily Morris). One of the judges said: "Moving, thoughtful, funny and wise. Sometimes heartbreaking, always uplifting."
Runner-up was Cynical Ben (Benjamin Judge).

Best New Blog: Words and Fixtures (Clare Conlon - that's me, that is!). One of the judges said: "It was the only blog out of the twenty-four shortlisted that made me laugh out loud."
Runner-up was Songs From Under the Floorboards (Andy Wake).

Best Writing on a Blog: My Shitty Twenties (Emily Morris again). One of the judges said: "It's almost impossible not to get drawn into the story that this blog tells."
Dual runners-up were I Thought I Told You To Wait in the Car (Richard Vivmeister Hirst) and Dave Hartley's Weblog (Dave Hartley).

Best Arts and Culture Blog: Run Paint Run Run (Ella Wredenfors). One of the judges said: "Opinionated, heartfelt and pleasantly rough-around-the-edges, a blog with an infectious enthusiasm for art."
Runner-up was The Manchester Hermit (Ansuman Biswas).

Blog of the Year: Lost in Manchester (still anonymous). This was awarded to the blog with the highest aggregate score in the competition. One of the judges said: "Quirky, original and focused, with an eye for detail. Putting the extra into extraordinary."

This here's a pic, from the MEN, of Emily Morris (My Shitty Twenties), Manchester Blog Awards organiser Kate Feld, me (me!) and Ella Wredenfors (Run Paint Run Run). Don't we make a splendid line-up in our posh frocks? And I like the height graduation.



This big ole bunch of links is some of the stuff that has been written in The Press and on the interweb thingy (if you know of any more, kindly post a comment. I thank you).

The Guardian: Women Dominate At Manchester Blog Awards
How-Do: Best Blogs In Manchester Revealed
Manchester Evening News (mis-spelt name and all): Single Mum Scoops Blog Award
Neville Hobson: In Conversation With Kate Feld
MDDA: The Return Of The Anonymous Blogger
Visit Manchester: photos
The Manchester Lit List: Manchester Blog Awards - And The Winners Are...
Searched Designed Developed: Manchester's Blog Awards Demonstrate The Real Power Of Blogging

New:
City Life: Girls On Top At Manchester Blog Awards 2009