Mis-shape, mistake, misfit: Si's sausage

I won't reveal the identity of the model, but...
Simon, is that a Cumberland sausage in your hand,
or are you just pleased to see me?

Word: scatological

I love talking shit with my friends, so I guess I'm a scatologist.
For a scatologist, this is mint. I just heard it on the radio;
it's Man City boss Mark Hughes talking about the shenanigans over the weekend of Shaun Wright-Phillips sticking the boot into Stoke player Rory Delap, who had pushed him over (all right, less of the boring football detail):
"Shaun was hacked down from behind and
the guy followed through on him.
In my mind that is violent conduct."
It's more than violent conduct, mate.
He was shat on. Good and proper.

Mistake: spice up your life

Even the fancy pants people at The Bar in Chorlton can't ruddy spell. Perhaps they read The Guardian too much?
Corriander.
Tsk.

Mistake: how deep is your glove?

This was on the packaging for the delightful ladies' gloves in Quality Save.
Ladie's gloves.
Bloody Nora.

Mistake: lovely bones

Today, it snowed. Lots - especially on those in the South of the country, poor loves.
Much of the transport system was stuffed, and an overhead sign on one railway station made no bones (natch) about updating us on the state of the trains. Apparently "a skeletal service will run due to adverse weather. Passengers are advised not to travel".
Ew. I don't think I'd need advising twice if I was unfortunate enough to see the skeletal service they were offering...
Skeleton, non? (Skeleton service, skeleton staff, skeleton plan.)