Misfit: no trophies in Oxford

Oh dear, oh dear.
We all thought Manchester Uni had been beaten by Trimble et al in the University Challenge final (see 24 February post), but it has since transpired that one of the Corpus Christi contestants was actually not eligible to take part in the competition so the Oxford team has been pilloried in the press and stripped of its beautiful be-silvered prize so graciously accepted from poet Wendy Cope (who isn't my former English teacher, dammit).
That means Manch take the title and the trophy - hurrah to them!
Pints of watered-down Boddies all round in the Serpent!

Misfit: marble effect

Last week, I lost my marbles outside M&S.
They were kept in the delightful tartan carrier on the back of Celia.
Three were recovered; the rest? Who knows.
Perhaps some other lucky person is having a game right now!

Mistakes: rapper's delight

Down at the grocers, I noticed another fantastic sign:
cypress spinich
So, that's cypress like the tree or indeed the Hill (which gives a new slant to insane in the [plant] membrane) combined with write-it-like-you-say-it spinich. Ace!
(For those of you confused, it should be Cyprus spinach, kids.)

Fixture: sign language

I'm in my third week as Editorial Officer at the Equality and Human Rights Commission, and I'm (hopefully) finally getting to grips with house style. I noticed on the style sheet mention of grocer's apostrophes, which are those random punctuation marks people just love sticking in words for the hell of it, you know like apple's 5 for £1 on a greengrocer's sign.
Our local grocer sometimes has some good signs on his fruit and veg. My favourite (although I noticed recently that someone has been at it with a marker pen) is his Coxy's apples. I always buy them - they sound so friendly.

Word: nose your place

Helen taught me a new word: nebbing (noun) nosiness; to neb (verb) to be nosy; neb (noun) nose.
Usage: Stop yer nebbin' : kindly remove your nose from my business.