Showing posts with label booze. Show all posts
Showing posts with label booze. Show all posts

18 April 2012

Truly, Miss Julie?

On Monday, I paid the Royal Exchange my second visit in a month, this time for the Swedish playwright August Strindberg's 1888 classic Miss Julie. When I spotted the poster outside with the quote "I can't run away, I can't stay. I can't live, I can't die. Help me", I almost turned heel and legged it, doing my best woman-on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-breakdown impression as I have been lately. Still, a stiff gin steeled my nerves for the expected emotional onslaught of the "Naturalistic tragedy" (as my copy of the text states) and a straight-through 1 hour 45 minute performance, and in the end I was glad I made it to my seat at stage level, and stayed there.


Miss Julie tells the tale of a count's daughter falling for her father's valet - a proper upstairs-downstairs affair, emphasised here by a staircase built especially for the production from the first gallery to the ground floor. All the "action" (Strindberg loves a good discourse) takes place in the below-stairs kitchen, decked out with an authentic-looking Scandinavian farmhouse table and benches, rustic sideboards and cold store, and various bits and bobs of galvanised paraphernalia. The house is as much a character as the actual people; the one depicted being a replacement to an original manor burnt down by Miss Julie's mother and being the root cause of both women's madness - and the set design itself appears to allude to this bonkerness, including a most complicated bell with which to summon the servants and a strange enormous UFO-style lampshade with changing colours.

This personification of inanimate objects is a bit of a theme in Naturalism, along with the many examples of nature imagery (such as when Miss Julie is described as a hawk, looking down on the others). The other themes are all doom and gloom, and what struck me most was how much the audience was laughing. I'm pretty certain Strindberg isn't supposed to be comedic - this play, after all, is about unrequited love, class war, madness, sex, death, suicide, more madness, misogyny, Christianity, greed, and even more madness. Not to worry, I'm not one to spoil anyone's fun, and I needed a good chuckle myself, although mine may have been down to star-of-the-show Maxine Peake's similarity on occasion to Queenie from Blackadder and perhaps to Joe Armstrong seemingly relishing the swearwords in his lines just a tad too much. Still, their performances were heartfelt and otherwise impeccable, and the rest of the Strindberg-minimal cast were excellent too. Another strong production from the company.

Miss Julie is on until 12 May. See the Royal Exchange website for full details. Image by Jonathan Keenan.

21 February 2012

Featured presentation

If you happen to follow me on Twitter or I've deigned to be your friend on Facebook, you'll be sick to the back teeth of me harping on about this, so apologies. Still, I'm not going to let it lie; not just yet as we have pictures and reviews now in.

You may remember that back in November I took to the Bad Language stage to glamorously assist flash fiction writer David Gaffney by reading his stories to his music, to rather rapturous applause (if I do say so myself). Well, word got out, and we were asked to provide a support act at the launch of the new Monkeys In Love album, which took place Friday just gone.


This time round, we performed more pieces and combined the cheesy organ music and deadpan delivery with PowerPoint presentations for a bit of extra, y'know, depth. There was some slight controversy over the first number, satirical social observation Eat Less Pastry, but all in all the set was really well received, and was even described as "brilliant" (not once but twice!) by Manchester Music.

10 January 2012

Speak up!

A quick round-up of spoken word speakeasies on the horizon...

Tomorrow sees the fourth outing for Tales Of Whatever, now in its new regular monthly slot at literary venue du jour, The Castle Hotel on Oldham Street. It starts at 7.45pm and is free, and this month's line-up includes my FlashTag compadre Tom Mason, my former colleague Laura "Cultural Shenanigans" Maley and For Books' Sake editor Jane Bradley; all of whom feature in the wonderful smut anthology Quickies: Short Stories For Adults, edited by my fair hand and available to purchase for next to nowt here.

I'm next on stage on Monday 23 January 2012 from 8pm at the new Three Minute Theatre in Afflecks, also on Oldham Street, as part of a special one-off (free!) night, The New Libertines, organised by Literary Death Match winner and Eight Cuts Gallery impresario Dan Holloway and in association with those ace For Books' Sake ladies. The bill (see poster below) also features award-winning author Elizabeth Baines and Not The Booker winner Michael Stewart, plus an open mic with Bad Language's Dan Carpenter among others, and promises to be nothing if not varied. I'm planning a 100% smut-filled set, so be warned.


The Bad Language gang themselves (oh look, we have the same blog background - great minds think alike, eh?) is back for the new year on Wednesday 25 January (7.30pm, free, The Castle), and I'll be taking part in the open mic. Another Quickies contributor, Socrates Adams, will also be reading from his new novel, Everything's Fine (proofread by yours truly).

The next Say Something is on at The Castle on Thursday 9 February*, with ToW back on Wednesday 15 February, then, on Friday 17 February (TV 21 bar, Thomas Street, 8pm), it's the unmissable launch of the new album Death Jeans from Monkeys In Love, when the band (who "sound like a drink Stereolab") will be supported by none other than David Gaffney feat. Sarah-Clare Conlon. I'll be reading more of David's flash fiction to his musical accompaniment while also giving a PowerPoint presentation and dancing. You'd better believe it.

There's a nice write-up of literary nights this week on Creative Tourist, which also mentions the fabulous experimental poetry night The Other Room (which unfortunately always seems to clash these days with Bad Language) and also the Manchester Literature Festival hub, the International Anthony Burgess Centre.

*NEWS JUST IN: the next (and last for now) Say Something is actually on Tuesday 28 February, 7.30pm at Sandbar, £1 entry. See the Facebook page for more.

01 December 2011

Another headline herey*

Last night, the Bad Language crew celebrated a year of spoken word shindigs at The Castle hotel in Manchester's Northern Quarter. The back room was really packed, and it was great to catch up with some lovely people I've met at the night (and at other literature events) over the last year and to meet some new folk too. There was birthday cake and much merriment, and the launch of a new anthology (BL's fourth, if I'm not mistaken) with readings from some of the contributors, including prose types and fellow FlashTag writers Benjamin Judge, Fat Roland and Tom Mason, plus Nija Dalal and Nick Garrard, and poetry types Sian Rathore, Anna Percy and Mercedes Fonseca.


The headline slot was divided into two flash fiction sets: one from National Flash-Fiction Day organiser Calum Kerr; t'other from grandmaster flash himself David Gaffney ...and me! Yep, for one night only, and kept secret til the last minute, I was David's "glamorous assistant". I read four of his new stories while he accompanied me on a Casio keyboard with some specially created tunes, and there was rapturous applause and laughter at our comedy double act, silly dancing and ridiculous amount of swears. And yep, we rolled out the "David and his organ" joke. It would be rude not to, really.

Audioboo here. Lawks.

More write-ups of the soiree, from Nici West and Jo Bell and Guy Garrud.

You can read two of the stories, Eat Less Pastry and Inches From What You Want, on David's website here.

*Another one for the sub-editors amongst you.

21 November 2011

Points of sale tales


Ah, site-specific story-telling: this year's new black. But it doesn't matter if everyone seems to be at it; the great thing about writing about place is how the tales vary between writers: even one small location can open up so many different interpretations. At last week's Re:Tale, the location was the Jigsaw clothes store in Manchester's slightly odd Triangle shopping centre. Six writers who know each other largely via the monthly Bad Language spoken word night brought a crowd of 30-odd six very different imaginings of life in the retail sector, some of which linked together to form a coherent whole.


Kicking off with my Flashtag colleague Fat Roland and his many props, we were then taken past the wonderful glazed green tiles of the staircase to the circular personal shopping area where Nici West told the tale of deaths on the shopfloor. Nici led us on to Dan Carpenter in the main shop, where he disconcerted us with his store assistant stalker and a Polaroid camera.


Following a break for liquid sustenance, we were treated to the inimitable style of Joe Daly: exiting a changing room, he instantly had people in stitches with his shoplifting stockbroker story. Next up was another Flashtag member, Dave Hartley, till rolls a-go-go; then the event was rounded off by Nick Garrard, with the Triangle's lovely dome roof and glittering festive lights providing the backdrop.


I have to admit, I wasn't quite sure what to expect and was slightly concerned that this kind of thing has been exhausted, but this was a really inspiring, engaging and enjoyable event. And I want all the clothes, if someone could sort that out. Ta.


You can read another review of the event on Cultural Shenanigans, by Laura Maley (pictured above grasping the end of one of L'il Dave's till rolls).

22 October 2011

Lit chick, indeed

Wow, what a hectic couple of weeks it's been in literary Manchester. I've been working on the Manchester Literature Festival doing digital marketing and helping/blogging at various events; visiting the Book Barge in Castlefield; writing and distributing stories as part of my new Site Specific Stories project; pitching for an artist in residency slot with an in situ site-specific short story-writing idea; reading on stage at the Manchester Blog Awards; getting slagged off by someone for being part of the so-called "Manchester literati"; going on loads of literature-based and psychogeographical tours of this great city, and generally running about the place trying to down as many glasses of wine as is humanly possible (drinking wine is a prerequisite of being "literary", right?).

I would say it, but the Manchester Literature Festival has been ace, and it's a shame that it comes to its official close tomorrow (though there are a couple of "bookend" events in early November). Highlights for me have been the European Short Stories event, which was great from a linguist's point of view: stories read by the authors in their native languages (Dutch and Norwegian) while the English translation was shown on screen. Despite having not a word of Norwegian, it was really intriguing to see how you can actually follow it in translation. I also really enjoyed Patricia Duncker's specially commissioned short story in the grand surrounds of the Midland Hotel, plus a nice brew and a scone (note to self: start hanging out here). And PD - what a charming and enthusiastic lady, and such a talented way with words! Other short story joy was had at the glittering Manchester Fiction Prize and the Manchester Blog Awards, and there will be more this week at Bad Language, where I'll be performing a new number, and the Bolton Octagon, where David Gaffney will be reading as part of the Live Literature season, which I'm at next month, likely a quivering wreck.


But I've also been getting a bit of a poetry fix, and today swung by the Whitworth, where the Poetry Takeaway van had pulled up (pictured). "The world's first mobile poetry emporium" was great fun - you divulge some secrets to one of the three poets therein (including someone from the well-renowned Bang Said The Gun) and they spend no more than 10 minutes rustling up a piece based on your witterings then perform it for you and provide you with a copy, wrapped in a kind of takeaway packet. My poem, Multi-task, was scribed for me by none other than exuberant "local" lad Dominic Berry, who I know from Bad Language; I can't believe what a genius creation he came up with - complete with the word "ladyparts", which I just knew I shouldn't have told him about, but which fits in well. It's brilliant and he's going to post it up on his blog soon, so watch his space.

21 September 2011

Smut and stuff

OK, so before I start getting complaints again about not updating the old blog, here you go. I've been working tres hard on the Manchester Literature Festival Blog writing posts and quizzing various writers about various things, so why not pop over and read those here.

I've also been busily squirrelling away at keeping my Wednesday promise of publishing bad words on We Hate Words. You can see that here.

Then, I've been writing another ton of short stories to submit to different zines and anthologies and wotnot and stuff and also to read at a number of upcoming spoken word events, starting with the Bad Shoes Festival this Sunday. I'm in the spotlight in the 2-2.30pm FlashTag Mcr slot in BoCho's Electrik.


And apart from all that (and other secret and not-so-secret projects), I've been frantically organising and promoting the FlashTag Smut Night, which takes place a week tonight - Wednesday 28 September, 8pm, Northern Lawn Tennis Club, Palatine Road, Didsbury. We'll be launching our collection of filthy flash fiction, Quickies: Stories For Adults, and hosting a night of dirty readings featuring our good selves and some of the contributors to the book (a book! A real-life book!).

As I say in the press release: “I’ve been gagging to run a literary-based Smut Night for ages and this seemed like the ideal opportunity – I think an evening of tongue-in-cheek saucy and romantic stories in the curtain-twitching suburbs will go down a treat!” Oo-er missus.

It's a free event and on stage will be, among others, Bristol Prize-winner and Whalley Ranger Valerie O'Riordan; Didsbury author Socrates Adams, whose debut novel Everything's Fine launches at Manchester Literature Festival in October; South Manchester-based Chris Killen, author of The Bird Room, described by The Independent as “exciting and perfectly formed”; Didsbury-based Salt New Voices poet Adrian Slatcher, and Claire Massey, whose work appears in The Best British Short Stories 2011 and Nicholas Royle’s Murmurations, which also launches at DAF (Monday 26 September, 8pm, Pizza Express, Lapwing Lane).

Our headline act is David Gaffney, the “grandmaster of flash fiction” (Bookmunch) and “one of the foremost writers in the short fiction arena” (The Short Review), and author of three critically acclaimed flash fiction collections, Sawn-off Tales, Aromabingo (which he's just lent me) and The Half-life Of Songs, plus the novel Never Never. At Smut Night, he will be reading the story he has written especially for Quickies along with some of his other work. You should so come...

01 September 2011

Wordy Wednesdays

LAST WEDNESDAY
Last week I tripped the light fantastic over to The Other Room at the Old Abbey Inn (impossible to find, but really nice once you do locate it). This was my inaugural visit to the free experimental poetry event, and I shall definitely be gracing it with my presence again in future. Organised by Tom Jenks (of Station Stories), James Davies and Scott Thurston, this wasn't quite as hardcore experimental as I'd been slightly dreading, though Rachel Lois Clapham's set was a teeny bit bonkers. Rachel's film and showcard presentation was preceded by David Berridge with some very long sentences and a whole lot of page-turning. He was preceded by Philip Terry, with some modern-day Shakespeare-style sonnets that raised more than a few titters. (Like him, BTW: he's into Oulipo and Raymond Queneau. Squee!) The next installation of The Other Room is (irregularly) on Monday 26 September, 7pm, at the International Anthony Burgess Foundation on Cambridge Street. (Nice bit of Pierrot Le Fou action on the flyer for last time too.)



THIS WEDNESDAY
Last night it was the monthly Bad Language knees-up. In September (oh looky, we're here already), they're taking a break to come to the FlashTagMcr Smut Night launch of the Quickies anthology at Didsbury Arts Festival, but they're back at The Castle in October to celebrate their first birthday with a fourth anthology (submissions open now; theme: bad language. With my potty mouth I'm feckin sorted). Anyway, last night many of the usual suspects read (Tom Mason, Dave Hartley, Fat Roland) plus a few newbies, poet David Tait plus headliner Max Wallis. I read two short pieces, Tu, Vous, You, about an even bigger Francophile than myself, and Her Fancier Man, which has just been published on 330 Words so do go read.

NEXT WEDNESDAY
We've teamed up with our chums from the aforementioned Bad Language writing collective to bring you our second Flash Language Literary Pub Quiz, following the success of our Not Part Of festival event back in July. It's next Wednesday (7 September) and the fun and frivolities kick off at 7pm in Barcelona Bar on Thomas Street in the Northern Quarter. It’s a pound each and we promise that for that vast outlay you will have oodles of laughs. Read more here.



25 August 2011

Posts win prizes

In case you haven't heard, nominations are now open for the Manchester Blog Awards 2011, and you might even be in with a chance as this time round previous Best New Blog sash-wearer Words & Fixtures isn't allowed to enter. Could this be because: a) last year she got drunk and stormed the stage Cocker-style after not winning anything; b) the organisers fear that if they let her anywhere near a microphone all kinds of filth is likely to spew forth and fill the innocent minds of the great and the good there gathered; c) she works for Manchester Literature Festival, so it might look a bit weird as they're one of the sponsors?*

This is the sixth year of the awards, which celebrate the best online writing in the city, show what an amazing blogging scene there is here and give us the chance to sneak out from behind our computer screens to drink copious amounts of grog and meet fabulous fellow bloggers.


Visit the Manchester Blog Awards website to nominate your favourite Manchester blogs in the following categories: Best Writing, Best Arts and Culture Blog, Best City or Neighbourhood Blog, Best New Blog and Best Personal Blog. Nominations close at 5pm on Sunday 18 September and the winners will be announced at a glittering awards ceremony during Manchester Literature Festival at 7pm on Wednesday 19 October in the fab upstairs room at The Deaf Institute. As well as the presentation of gongs, there will be readings from the winners of The Real Story creative non-fiction competition (closing date for entries is this Saturday!) and Socrates Adams, who'll be treating the audience to extracts from his fantastic forthcoming debut, Everything’s Fine (proofread by yours truly).

*It's c.

30 May 2011

Just stepped out of the salon

You'll be pleased to know that the Flash Mob Literary Salon was a roaring success. Well, I enjoyed myself, at least, and other people seemed to, including your Toms Fletcher and Jenks, your Chris Killen, your Joe Stretch. Either that, or they were being polite. Oh well. I had fun. I drank copious pints of Hell and I liked wearing my new frock (that is, until Ben suggested it might be see-through, which was a little offputting given that I had to go up on stage another two times. Personally, I don't think it was. And if it was, at least the audience got some cheap thrills). Anyway, other people have written about the event, so I suggest you read what they've said so I can go off and eat some cake.

The evening's been written about by Bad Language's Dan Carpenter on the Chorlton Arts Festival blog (a fantastic innovation by my Chorlton Arts Festival colleague Sarah) here and Nici West here. Our special guest star Nik Perring has written about it here as has my fellow Flash Mobber Dave here. You can now read all twelve of the shortlisted stories in an anthology which we have published online. Whizz on over to the Flash Mob website, and it's all there in glorious technicolor.


Look, I even have pictures. Look, there's a picture of the wonderful Helen from Didsbury Life taking a picture of me. And look, there's Helen's picture of me.


Being gluttons for punishment, the Flash Mob gang, who will henceforth be known as Flashtag (don't ask: this must be the fifth name we've had), are now working on some more events and projects. First up is the Flash Language Literary Pub Quiz we're running in conjunction with Bad Language for the Not Part Of fringe to the Manchester International Festival. That is on Wednesday 6 July at 7.30pm at Barcelona in the Northern Quarter. We're also hoping to be collaborating with Bad Language again for the Oxfam Bookfest later in July.

At the moment we're also putting together an application for September's Didsbury Arts Festival. Our current intention is to possibly run a smut night (my idea). Going on our track history, however, that could all change. Fingers crossed it doesn't.

27 May 2011

Inklings

When I was in the bar after Station Stories last Friday night, I was invited to join a writing group by two of the storytellers. (I think that one of the points to take away here is that we were in the bar. Still, the invitation hasn't been nixed, so perhaps their judgement wasn't totally clouded by grog.)

Anyway, there are now five of us in the group. I'm not sure who gets to be Timmy the dog. We even have a name: Inklings. Cute, huh? The idea is that once a month two members of the posse circulate some work up to about 5,000 words (though crucially for me, thank the stars, it doesn't have to be more than 500 - I can't imagine 5,000! What does that even /look/ like?), then a week or so later we get together and ransack it. We discuss what is working, what isn't, what needs more detail, what needs less; what will make it is as good as possible.


It's a swell idea, except I've been shitting bricks about the whole thing all week. Everyone seems to be writing a novel. I'm not writing a novel. At least I wasn't. I mean, I might one day. But it will be a Mills & Boon. Um, I am largely incapable of writing anything more than 400 words. I can't even rumble out a standard short story most of the time. Anyway, noone seems to give a monkeys, so I calmed down a bit; stopped mainlining gin and put the knives away.

And then I saw my horoscope: "Working with a diverse group won't be easy, but it will be illuminating. You can learn valuable skills from a young renegade character. In return, you will give your group comfort and stability."

Great: I'm comfortable and stable, like a pair of M&S slippers.

19 May 2011

A moment of fiction #14 - Chorlton Arts Festival special

It's literature events a-go-go at this year's biggest bestest Chorlton Arts Festival, which starts today.

Top of the bill, because I helped organise it, is the Flash Mob Literary Salon, which is the culmination of our amazingly acetastic flash fiction writing competition. It's on Thursday 26 May at 7.30pm in the newly done-up Dulcimer. There will be readings by the 12 shortlisted writers and the five judges (that's a lovely pic of us by the inimitable Gill Moore Photography, dontcha think?), a guest slot from microfictionmeister Nik Perring, fabulous fun and surreal shenanigans, and a glittering gong-giving ceremony. There will be a stage and projections and lights and, if I get pissed enough, dancing girls (I'm kidding). It's going to be broadcast live on Chorlton FM (on air 87.7 FM across South Manchester and online), so even if you can't come down in person, you have no excuse not to still take part.


Next might I flag up my new girlfriends For Books' Sake, who are presenting a free "evening of live music and spoken word" called Books & Blues. There will be "storytelling, spoken word and musical treats", and Jane and Alex, who run the show, are great, so you should totally check them out on Friday 20 May, 7.30pm, at Chorlton Irish Club (please note venue change). Promised is a book swap and "surprises", and, as if that weren't enough, they're only going and having a bloody raffle.

In competition tomorrow are local scribe copland smith and his Manky Poets in Chorlton Library (£2), but you can catch them again on Sunday 22 May at 8pm in The Beech (free) and with their merry band of musician friends on Wednesday 25 May at 8pm in The Spread Eagle (free). If the music and poetry mix floats your boat, there's also a Means To An End on Monday 23 May at 7.30pm in The Lloyds, and Word Musicians same time same place on Thursday 26 May. At The Lloyds on Tuesday 24 May, 7.30pm, is Joe Blue with a collection of monologues and stories.

Both weekends in the Festival calendar host creative writing workshops; both poetry, both wimmin. First (Saturday 21 May) sees Bad Language regular Anna Percy and her Stirred Poetry sidekick Rebecca Audra Smith host a workshop (2-5pm) and open mic evening (7.30pm) at St Ninian's (£3 for both events; £2 for one). Second (Sunday 29 May) sees Paper Planes and Manky Poets regular Sarah L Dixon from 10am in the Library Meeting Room (she usually runs workshops on the first Sunday on the month 1-3pm, £2; for reference, the next is Sunday 5 June; call 07743 685221 or 0161 881 3179 to book).

Last but not least, is a reading by two Salt writers, on Monday 30 May, 7.30pm, in the Library (free). Local novelist Robert Graham will read from his new Salt Modern Voices chapbook, A Man Walks Into A Kitchen, while short story writer Heather Leach will read So Much Time In A Life, from The Best British Short Stories 2011 anthology edited by Nick Royle.

09 May 2011

Book it, book it real good


This is happening tomorrow. I am going. You should go too. It is free. All the other details are on the flyer. David Gaffney is a flash fiction writer and also a novelist, and he will be reading some short stories from his latest collection The Half-life Of Songs (up for this year's Edge Hill Short Story Prize) and maybe presenting some of his Destroy Powerpoint slides. I can't recommend this enough. James Davies is the organiser of experimental poetry night The Other Room and editor of If P Then Q. He will be performing some poems from his new anthology, Plants. The event will be compered by "the incredible" (apparently) Tony Trehy, text-poet and founder of Text Festival, currently on the go in Bury.

After that, I'm hotfooting it to the Kings Arms in Salford, where my friend and Flash Mob colleague Mr Dave Hartley is co-hosting a Flash Mob quiz with his brother Mr Rick Hartley. Some of the questions will be about books. Benjamin Judge has written a round. I expect that will be about cheese. Or books. It's a quid per person and there are prizes. See Dave's blog for more.

22 March 2011

Me. Me. Me.

So here's a thing. I've written a new bit of flash, right, and I'm going to treat this month's Bad Language crowd to it tomorrow night. You should come and listen; it's set in the Northern Quarter, so it's quite fitting as that's where I'll be reading it. I wrote it after the last Bad Language, so bear in mind that recent mid-life crisis I've been joking about. I'm quite liking it (the story, that is, although the mid-life crisis is going pretty well, too), though I'm still trying to tinker with the ending. Still given that I'm up to my eyes in Very Important Meetings and photo-shoots and wotnot, you'll get what you're given. Bad Language starts at 7.30pm in the Castle. If you want a feel for the soiree, you can read about the February event here.

If you can't make it on Wednesday, then come to Twestival on Thursday. It starts at 6.30pm and is being held in NoHo, also in the NQ. It's a global shindig, which "uses social media to do social good". The Manc version will be donating 100% of ticket sales and auction takings to Wood Street Mission, and everything you need to know about the event and the charity is here. Me and the boys behind the Flash Mob Writing Competition are rocking up and wowing the collected masses with a pop-up literary salon. Fellow Flash Mobber Tom Mason writes about it here. Social Media Manchester has said: "There'll also be readings from Manchester's coolest bloggers' collective including the première of a unique multi-platform Twitter story, written specially for the night". I will be performing said piece, alongside Tom, who created the concept, the clever boy.

24 February 2011

Three is the magic number

Last night's Bad Language event at the Castle Hotel on Oldham Street was another corker. This was number three of the regular monthly outings. There's a load of pictures on organiser Daniel Carpenter's Facebook page, so be nice and make friends with the fella then you can see them. Here's one of me looking suitably entranced by newcomer Aaron Gow, regular contributor on Dave Hartley's wunderbar Screen150 (on which I have a new review this week, of my favourite film Black Narcissus, complete with a picture I drew with coloured pencils and that. Get me). Aaron writes about the experience here; he kindly doesn't mention that I pronounced his name incorrectly, bless him.


So, lots of people took to the stage for the increasingly popular open mic slot (I've already signed up for next month so's I don't miss out on torturing the masses with my weird and wonderful tales of death, destruction and, er, clown outfits). I really can't be bothered listing all the performers, partly because I'm lazy but largely because I'm hungover, but suffice it to say #beatoff were out in force. Fat Roland did his tooth fairy story off of 330 Words, Tom Mason did the unabridged (I believe) version of Dream Girlfriend, my Ask Ben & Clare compadre Benjamin Judge brought back to life some women authors as zombies in Brains, the aforementioned Hartley (modelling a second natty waistcoat. Who'd've thought?) got his revenge on rude bookshop customers, and I treated the hordes to Dress-down Friday, inspired by my first run-in with the concept, in my current place of work. Special mention goes to Claire Symonds and her fabulous tale of magpies. She's a good egg and even bought Tom a mop and a tomato for his birthday, which he was celebrating, quite obviously, in style.

After David Gaffney's fantastic PowerPoint presentations last month, this time the headline slot was filled by poet Jo Bell of Bugged. She read some stuff from Something Everyday (I really love Urban Mermaid from 21 February), alongside the project's editor and fellow poet Max Wallis, and plenty of other great potty-mouthed poetry. Next month's event features Rod Tame, another poet (who brought a bit of steampunk to the shenanigans), and takes place on Wednesday 30 March, starting at 7.30pm. All the details are on Facebook here. In the meantime, don't forget that the deadline for submissions to the next Bad Language anthology is 2 March. That be next week, me hearties.

ADDENDUM 27/02/11, ERRATA: The lovely folk at Bad Language tell me that, in fact, Rod will be the special guest star at April's event, not March's. March is still TBC.

ADDENDUM 07/03/11: March guest has been confirmed as Gerry Potter poet. The date has come forward a week to 23 March.

More on the last event here, courtesy Matt "CageFightingBlogger" Tuckey - thanks for the mention!

15 February 2011

Nicholas Royle vs Nicholas Royle (like Kramer vs Kramer, but with less crying)

The exposed brickwork of the Engine House at the International Anthony Burgess Foundation is becoming a familiar fixture in my life. Last Thursday, I was once again gazing upon its redness, at the meeting of the two Nicholas Royles.

Both writers, the pair have known each other since first being confused when new writing magazine Sunk Island Review rejected a short story by each but sent the rejection letter for both to just one. (Are you keeping up?) The recipient was Nicholas Royle, Professor of English at the University of Sussex and author of various non-fiction "academic" works including the appropriately entitled The Uncanny, and pictured below on the right. He forwarded the rejection, both stories and a covering note to Nicholas Royle, Lecturer in Creative Writing at Manchester Metropolitan University and author of various fiction "non-academic" works including Counterparts, Saxophone Dreams, The Matter of the Heart, The Director’s Cut and Antwerp, and pictured below on the left.


Royle Manchester (as University Challenge would have it) explained, "Our interest in doubles predated being aware of each other", and it's this shared curiosity along with the shared moniker that led the two to arrange to get together, at a lecture in London some years ago. They have since continued to meet up socially, have toyed with the idea of collaborating on a project called "Double Take" (watch this space - you never know!) and are still intrigued by the coincidences caused by the crossover of name and profession.

Royle Manchester: "[There have been] a number of things where we've been confused one from the other, and from the start we've found that entertaining and interesting..."
Royle Sussex: "And also irritating, weird..."
Royle Manchester: "Uncanny?"
Royle Sussex: "Yes, uncanny."

As well as chatting and fielding questions from the floor, the two Nicholas Royles also read their work. Royle Manchester treated the 50 or so audience members to his number-strewn short story The Maths Tower ("at, where we at MMU like to call, The Place Down The Road") along with the first half of the new weird but wonderful The Other Man. Can't wait for the full version when it's finished. Royle Sussex, meanwhile, gave us two extracts from his richly descriptive first novel Quilt, described by The Guardian as "an intense study of grief and mental disintegration, a lexical celebration and a psychological conundrum". Can't believe either of them would have their work rejected. Just goes to show, eh?

Photo, ahem, "borrowed" from Rob Spence's Topsyturvydom blog, taken by Matthew Frost of Manchester University Press, who whet the whistles with their whiskey (try saying that when you're pished). Hope Rob and Matthew don't mind!

08 February 2011

Altered images

Yesterday evening saw the pretty much packed launch of new art show Reflexive Landscapes & Cutting Machines by Bruce Thompson at the Beggars Bush bar on Beech Road in Chorlton. Before we go any further, I'd better come clean: Bruce is my friend and lodger. He feeds my cats and I don't want to get on the wrong side of him.

Nonetheless, I show no bias when I advise you to check out the exhibition over the next month or so. Treat yourself to a drink while you're there. Go on. Here's the exhibition poster, influenced by Bruce's interest in decorative screens:


The works on display, however, are each an image in themselves and the show encompasses two series Bruce has been working on over the last few years. I was already familiar with Reflexive Landscapes, a colourful, dynamic oeuvre (did I just say "oeuvre"? Ha!), with more than a few sci-fi threads. The pieces from the Cutting Machines series, however, were new to me, and I really enjoyed their pared-down compositions, subtle cream and garlic pink shades, and rich textures.

Bruce has studied both art and architecture, and was working on very fine airbrush automatic abstract paintings when I first met him a number of years ago. In his latest work, he reconsiders these spontaneous pieces by rendering them using a computer-based 3D modelling package, and adding more colour, light and depth. This second stage is then further transformed by manipulating points of view and fragmenting and recombining elements of the original canvas to produce a totally new image.

Says Bruce: "This body of work is concerned with the unconscious mind in relation to space and perception, expressed through art and architecture. The work can be viewed as a departure point from painting and a move towards a cybernetic, pataphysical and alchemical world."

Unsure what pataphysics are, I consulted Wikipedia and discovered that it's a pseudophilosophy that parodies modern science often through the use of nonsensical language. Well, if it's good enough for Bruce and French author Raymond Queneau, it's good enough for me...

27 January 2011

Not bad at all

Last night Dan, Joe and Nici hosted another marvellous Bad Language evening at The Castle Hotel on Oldham Street.

Dan opened with a poem about the now ramshackle, onetime competition to Coney Island (which will in my mind forever be linked with Cloverfield), then gave up the stage to #beatoff's very own Dave Hartley, with a concoction about the Bridgewater Hall in space. The next #beatoff member, er, up was Tom Mason with a slightly longer version of his 2nd Violin from 330 Words. Also in the first third was Bugged co-creator, prolific poet and fellow boat person Jo Bell, who raised more than a few laughs with Coming, and one of the Bugged contributors, Calum Kerr, with a short short story about one man's innovative solution to writer's block. Nici rounded the section up with a dark tale of seeing in the New Year at Beetham Tower, though not in the traditional way.

After an interlude for recharging our glasses, star-of-the-show David Gaffney gave us The King Of Powerpoint, which I'd seen him perform on Short Story Day, but went down a real treat with the Bad Language crowd. He also read from his new Salt collection The Half-Life Of Songs, which is reviewed by Peter Wild on Bookmunch (where I've also written some reviews, if you're remotely interested). This was the third time I've seen David read (the first time was at the Bad Language Literature Quiz back in September), and I'm worried he's probably starting to think of me as some kind of Gaffney groupie. Or a stalker.

Talking of which, after another break (the drinking is as important as the readings), Joe gave us a stalker story, then, as if by magic, Bad Language newbie Joely "@thecharmquark" Black read Psycho, another 330 Words story, which she even got into character for. #beatoff's Fat Roland also "performed", extracting the letters making up his story, Despondent Correspondent, from various parts of his anatomy and vestments (as well as penning the award-winning Fat Roland On Electronica, he posts creative writing here). Another short story came courtesy of Guy Garrud, a regular (along with #beatoffers Dave and Ben, and John Andrew Hutchison, who I also had the pleasure of meeting last night) at the Manc Spec Fiction group at Madlab.


Then there was little old me. I read one of my new stories, White Rabbits, which involves a character called Alice, a John Tenniel artwork (above), a looking-glass and a life-sized bunny. I'd gone for this as today happens to be the birthday of Lewis Carroll (who, according to Wikipedia, pretty much invented Scrabble, coincidentally the board game of choice on the Bad Language logo). Thinking about it, I should have dedicated the story to rabbit-watcher extraordinaire and natty waistcoat-wearer Mr Hartley (the story even includes the phrase "natty waistcoat". One day I'll share it with you. Maybe tomorrow, who knows).

There were also loads of poets, so once again the evening offered a good mix. In no particular order (largely because, having consumed copious amounts of strong Dutch lager and not bothering to take any notes, I can't remember) the poets included: Dominic Berry, with his vegan-coming-out poem; a (possibly Spanish) lady called Mercedes (@cedered on Twitter); Scouser Gerry, who gave us a great poem about fighting girls on the Scottie Road in Liverpool; Heather, who read last time and this time treated us to the fantastic line "scum of clothes"; Anna Percy, who runs the night (which I think is on Mondays at Sandbar) Stirred: For Women Who Write, and Anna's pal whose name alluded me. Forgive me if I've missed anyone: as you can see, it was quite a roll call.

Finally, news on the night was that, 1) the next Bad Language shindig is on Wednesday 23 February at The Castle, and 2) following the success of I Know Where The City Has Wings and Scattered Reds, submissions are now open for the third Bad Language anthology. All the details are here and the closing date is 2 March. Ace.

27 December 2010

That bit between Christmas and New Year...


Just so, as our memories fade with old age and alcohol abuse, we don't forget that in 2010 we had a white Christmas, here's a photo of some snowy cow parsley down on Chorlton Ees. If we're friends on Facebook, you can peruse further wintry scenes on my profile therein. If we're not friends on Facebook, you'll just have to use your imagination.